A/N: Hey! Yeah I know, I shouldn't be starting anything new but my sister (MsMKT86) thought this was a god idea. So here I am. I'm not going to promise it's going to be that long but I have a few of these that I think are going to be great. They're not all going to be Glee but the first couple will be. I hope you guys enjoy this.
Oh and this is clearly AU but apparently that needs to be explained from time to time. So I'm just using the characters not necessarily their canon personalities. Some situation from the show are the reasons they are on the show but not bashing any particular character so please no hate filled reviews defending your favorites! (Please!) This is all in fun!
Having said all of that, enjoy!
REVIEWS = LOVE!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything you recognize. The Brittany S. Pierce Show, however is mine. All of the commercials are the sole property of me.
Brittany Voice over:
Today our guests reveal sexy secrets and their secret lives. We will find out if forgiveness and a new start is in the card; right now on Brittany.
The studio audience erupts into applause as the famed dancer turned talk show host, Brittany S. Pierce come onto the stage. Brittany sits in her chair and picks up her notes.
"Welcome to the Brittany show. Let's welcome our first guest Puck," Brittany gestured to the attractive man with the mohawk in the chair beside hers. "Ok, Puck, what's going on?" she asked.
"Well Brittany, I brought my girlfriend on the show to tell her a secret that I've been keeping from her," Puck started.
"Ok, what is it?" Brittany asked interested.
"I own my own pool cleaning business and that's how I support myself and my girl but she doesn't know why the business is doing so good," Puck said.
"I'm guessing it's not because you're excellent at cleaning pools," Brittany said causing the audience to laugh. Puck chuckled before he answered.
"No, it's because of the bonus service..." he said.
"Bonus service?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah, a lot of my customers are housewives who husbands don't pay attention to them," Puck explained.
"So you what, flirt with them?" she said trying to pull the full story from Puck.
"Yeah and other things," he said.
"You mean you have sex with them?" Brittany said clarifying things for audience.
"Yeah," Puck answered. The audience gave an audible gasp and Brittany gave Puck a look of pity and concern.
"Then they pay you and you leave?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah but it's no big deal," Puck said shrugging. The audience booed loudly at his blasé attitude.
"Are you protecting yourself?" Brittany asked seriously.
"Most of the time but those old broads are clean," Puck said with a smirk. The audience started to heckle Puck because they couldn't believe what he was saying.
"Now to you want to come clean with your girlfriend?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah, I love her and I want her to know the truth," Puck said.
"You brought her here to tell her I love you but I've been having unprotected sex with housewives," Brittany stated plainly. The audience clapped and shouted their agreement with Brittany.
"Yeah, I don't want to keep it a secret anymore," Puck said.
"Ok, let's meet your girlfriend, Kitty," Brittany introduced.
Kitty, a pretty blonde entered from backstage. The audience cheered for her because they had pity for her. She sat in the chair next to Puck's and waited. Puck took her hand and they waited for Brittany to speak, "Kitty, welcome to the show," she said with a smile.
"Thank you," Kitty said smiling.
"So this is your boyfriend?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah," Kitty answered.
"You guys live together? You're in love?" Brittany asked.
"Yes, I love Puck very much. He's not perfect but we have a good relationship," Kitty said.
"You know Puck brought you here today to tell you a secret," Brittany told her.
"Yes," Kitty said.
"Any idea what it could be?" Brittany asked.
"No, but it doesn't matter. Nothing can change how I feel about Puck," Kitty said sure of herself. The audience can be heard mumbling in the background.
"Ok, Puck go ahead," Brittany said gesturing for Puck to tell his story.
"Kitty," Puck said looking in her eyes and taking her hand, "I love you so much. I can't keep this secret anymore. It's about the business," he started. Kitty was looking at Puck fearfully and when he said the business she became less scared.
"Ok," she said touching his face.
"I've been offering bonus services," Puck said vaguely. Kitty's face showed signs of confusion.
"Tell her what the "bonus services" are," Brittany prompted.
"I've been having sex with my client," Puck said. Kitty pulled her hand from his as tears sprung to her eyes.
"What?" she said shocked.
"I'm sorry, Kitty. They pay me extra and we could always use extra money," he said explaining.
"I don't want any money that your whored yourself to get! I'll never need money that bad!" Kitty exclaimed as the audience cheered her on.
"Tell her the rest, Puck," Brittany chimed in.
"There's more?" Kitty asked in disbelief.
"Uh sometimes I don't wear protection but I'm pretty sure the old ladies are clean," Puck told her.
"I'm pretty sure you're disgusting!" Kitty yelled as the audience goaded her. "How could you put my health at risk?"
"Kitty, calm down. I love you!" Puck said pleading with his girlfriend to listen to him as he tried to grab her hand again.
"Don't touch me!" she said with venom, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
"So Kitty, what does this mean for you and Puck?" Brittany asked.
"It means we're over," she told Brittany. The audience cheered their approval as Kitty stood and left the stage. Leaving Puck sitting there sad and dejected.
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"Welcome back, this is Sam. He has a secret to tell his long time girlfriend, Mercedes. Go ahead, Sam," Brittany said.
"Ok, so I'm a college student," Sam said and the audience cheered for him. "College is expensive and I got a partial scholarship but that didn't cover anything but books," he said as the audience showed sympathy. "I needed a job and I need a good paying one and Dairy Queen wasn't going to do the trick. So I started stripping," Sam said. The audience gasped in shock. A few of the women in the audience gave Sam the once over, realizing that with this gorgeous face and body he probably made a lot of tips.
"What's wrong with loans?" Brittany asked.
"I don't want to be in debt until I'm dean," Sam said.
"Where does she think you're getting the money for school?" Brittany asked.
"Loans, work study and a regular job," Sam said sheepishly.
"So, you've been lying?" Brittany as pointedly.
"Yeah," Sam said blushing when the audience began to heckle him.
"How do you think she's going to take the news?" Brittany asked Sam.
"I don't know. Probably not well but I hope she can forgive me," he said. The audience wanted to boo but they couldn't help but root for the blonde college stripper.
"We hope so too," Brittany said and the audience cheered. "Let's bring out Mercedes," she introduced Sam's girlfriend.
Mercedes, a petite chocolate skin girl with curves, came from backstage, a smile on her face. The audience cheered loudly for her as she took her seat beside Sam.
"Welcome to the show, Mercedes," Brittany said.
"Thank you, Brittany," Mercedes said.
"How long have you and Sam been together?" Brittany asked trying to get background on them.
"Off and on since Sophomore year of high school," she told Brittany.
"And now you're on again?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah, we've been steady for two years," Mercedes said smiling at Sam.
"The entire time, you've been in college?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah," Mercedes said. The audience made collective tsk of disapproval in Sam's direction.
"You know Sam brought you here to tell you something," Brittany stated.
"Yeah, I'm nervous about it but I'm ready for it," Mercedes said taking a deep breath.
"Ok, Sam. You're up," Brittany encouraged.
"Mercedes, first I want to say, I love you. You are the best thing in my life," Sam told Mercedes as he took her hand. The audience awed at Sam's words.
"I love you too," Mercedes said.
"I've been lying to you," Sam said plainly, ripping the band-aid off.
"Who is she, Sam?" Mercedes asked coldly.
"Wait a minute, Mercedes," Brittany spoke up. "You're jumping to conclusions. Let him finish," Brittany encouraged. Mercedes nodded.
"I didn't get loans or a regular job and I'm not in the work-study program," he told her.
"What do you mean regular job? And how are you paying for school?" she asked confused.
"With my job," Sam said.
"I thought you said you didn't have a job," Mercedes said becoming frustrated.
"No, I said a regular job. I don't work at a fast food restaurant or deliver pizzas," Sam said.
"Then what do you do?" Mercedes asked.
"I'm a stripper," Sam said. Mercedes jaw dropped.
"How could you?" she asked.
"I know it's not the best job but I'm paying for school with no problem and I have money to live on. I only didn't tell you because I didn't want you to judge," Sam said.
"What do you want me to say? It's cool Sam. Flaunt your moneymaker for money, do "special" dances for more money! No, not ok," Mercedes said angry. The audience clapped, clearly divided.
"Wait a minute! No one is doing special dances for anyone. That's offensive. I'm a stripper NOT a prostitute!" Sam said also getting angry. The half of the audience on Sam's side clapped.
"Not a prostitute, yet Sam. I'm pretty sure stripping is the gateway to being a whore," Mercedes said nastily. Someone in the audience could be heard saying burn.
"Because you know so many strippers turned prostitutes," Sam scoffed. "You're being a judgmental bitch and that's why I kept it a secret," Sam said meanly. A lady in the front row snapped her neck and yelled out, "Oh no he didn't!"
"You're a liar, Sam. So I can't believe you when you say you haven't slept with anyone for money," Mercedes said stubbornly. The audience clapped agreeing with her.
"Yes, I lied but that doesn't mean I'm committing a crime. Prostitution is illegal. Stripping is not. I am telling you that I have never had sex with anyone from the club!" Sam said.
"I can't believe you," Mercedes said.
"We can give Sam a lie detector test to find out once and for all what the truth really is," Brittany suggested.
"Fine," Sam said.
"Ok," Mercedes said.
Commercial:
Family member go to court over their dead grandmother's pearl necklace on Lord Tubbington's Court. Today at 4pm after The Brittany show.
"Welcome back and in my hand I have the results from Sam's lie detector test," Brittany announced producing a card.
"Read the results, Brittany!" Mercedes said side-eying Sam.
"Yeah, please do so when she sees I told the truth she'll owe me and apology for calling me a whore," Sam said giving Mercedes his own side-eye.
"Here we go. First question: Have you ever had sex with anyone at the club? You answered no...you were telling the truth. Next question: Have you ever had sex with anyone for money? You answered no...you were telling the truth. And the final question: Have you had sex with anyone other than Mercedes since you've been back together? You answered no...you were telling the truth," Brittany finished reading the results. Sam jumped to his feet, fist pumping the air. The audience laughed and clapped.
"I don't hear and apology, Mercedes," Sam said to her.
"Fine! I'm sorry for a calling you a whore," she conceded.
"Thank you," Sam said.
"What's next for the two of you?" Brittany asked Mercedes.
"I don't know," she said looking at Sam, clearly in love with him.
"We have someone you can talk to to help you figure this all out, if you want," Brittany offered.
"Thank you, Brittany," Mercedes and Sam both said.
Commercial:
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Backstage in the green room Mercedes and Sam sat down with Santana Lopez, Brittany's executive producer and relationship expert.
"Now that everything is in the open you can move forward in your relationship," Santana said.
"I just can't move forward. He lied," Mercedes said.
"Yes he did. He also told the truth," Santana pointed out.
"I only kept it a secret because I was scared you'd be ashamed of me," Sam told her.
"Oh," she said.
"I want you to know I could take care of myself and you no matter what. And that I would do anything necessary for us to be ok," Sam said. Mercedes' eyes welled up with tears.
"What do you say, Mercedes? You willing to give him another chance?" Santana asked. Mercedes nodded and she and Sam kissed.
Commercial:
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Brittany face the audience, "Thanks for watching. Join us next time. Remember everyone, follow your rainbow on the back of your unicorn! Love you!," she said as she blew kisses at the audience.
A/N2: Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!
Phone Numbers:
Law Offices of Crowley and Smythe - 1-433-666-3325 = 1-4DE-MON-DEAL
Attention - 1-468-843-2527 = 1-GOT-THE-CLAP