The Waiting Room

Ryan

Damn, fucking fog! Why did there have to be fog today? I didn't even want to go into LA. If I had stood my ground, we wouldn't be here. But, Seth was so persistent, and so insistent, and so determined that I'd like that damned movie that I gave in. From the smile he gave me, you'd think that I never went along with any of his crazy plans. But if only I hadn't this time...

Ryan glances over to Kirsten and Sandy who are sitting on the other side of the hospital waiting room. Sandy has his arm around Kirsten's shoulders and as Ryan watches he leans in to say something to her. Kirsten doesn't seem to hear and continues staring out the window at the traffic rushing by on the freeway. But like Seth, Sandy is not one to give up or take silence for an answer. Sandy again leans toward her and whispers.

Summer would have gone ballistic today over Seth's driving. Seth would only have said that he was driving within his comfort zone. God, I'd give anything to hear them ripping into each other now.

Seth's old lady instincts had been perfectly in tune with today's road conditions. Even with the fog, he'd seen the accidents ahead of them in plenty of time to stop safely. Unfortunately, the semi barreling along behind them had not been able to stop. It slammed the Range Rover into the growing pile of wreckage. Ryan awoke to find rescuers working to extricate him from what was left of Kirsten's car. Seth's comment that a Hummer was the ideal second car for the Cohens popped into Ryan's mind. He looked around to congratulate Seth on his insight and realized that he didn't know what had happened to Seth.

They should have gotten Seth out first. Seth's blood was everywhere. He was the one that needed help. Damn it, Seth. You kept asking if I was ok while they were getting you out. Why would you do that? You're my lifeline. You told me once that you knew, during that first video game, that I belonged with you and your family. You say such dumb things sometimes. What will it be like if you die?

Would they want me around if you…? That's selfish. This isn't about me; it's about Seth - my friend. Please let him live God. You haven't heard from me in a long time, God. Up until now, I've kept our bargain: I haven't asked for anything. And You, You've given me nothing. But for some reason You changed the rules on me. You gave me a home with people who care about me, and a friend who treats me like I'm his brother. What do You want from me? Name the price; I'll pay it. But don't let Seth die. He's a good person - not like me. He doesn't deserve this. I'd rather go back to the way it was before.

The EMT's didn't want Ryan to ride along with them, brother or no. Maybe they gave in because they didn't think Seth would make it to the hospital. Ryan didn't want to think about that. He just wanted to be back with Seth but that didn't happen this time. One of the EMT's on the ride to the hospital loaned him a phone to call "their parents". Ryan's calls to Summer and Marissa would have to wait until after the ER doctors had finished with him.

Sandy was so quiet when I told him about Seth. I wish Kirsten and Sandy would get here. Damn LA traffic! Will Summer come? Will Marissa? Will Luke bring Marissa if she comes? It's still all about my problems, huh? Fool! Why doesn't someone tell me something? At least I got to see him for a minute before the orderly took him to surgery. He looked so thin and pale lying there against the white sheets.

Ryan followed the gurney as far as the elevator doors. He knew he had intended to sit down somewhere and wait for Sandy and Kirsten; but he was still there, standing in the hallway across from the elevators, when they got to the hospital. Ryan barely had time to tell them that Seth had gone up to surgery before they disappeared into a room with his surgeons. Ryan's heart sank when Sandy and Kirsten emerged from the conference. They looked almost as pale as Seth had in his hospital bed.

The doctors in Emergency said the odds were good. What does that mean, the odds were good? It's not a damn horse race. It should be me in there. I'm stronger than he is. Besides, no one would really care anyway. Everything seems to have gotten worse since I came here. Seth may die and then I'd be alone and on my own again. I could go back, live that old life again. Right? I will not cry.

Ryan brushes his arm across his eyes as he raises his head. Sandy and Kirsten are watching him from across the room. He gets up carefully from his chair. His body is stiff from sitting too long in one position and those great pain meds have finally worn off. Only an elderly couple seated near the receptionist's desk remains of the crowd that had filled the waiting room when they came up from Emergency. The crowded room was the reason why Ryan had had to sit apart from Sandy and Kirsten. He tells himself, as he crosses the waiting room, that he would have moved over to join them if he had only noticed there was room.

"Sandy, would you guys like me to get you something?"