Chapter One.

I couldn't help but watch with an anguishing ache in my chest, as the love of my life married a woman who wasn't me.

She was beautiful, her long, white tendrils pulled back from her face to flow like a river down the back of her kimono. His hair, his beautiful silver tresses that I loved running my hands through pulled up into a tie, just like how he told me his father, the late Lord Inu Taisho, wore his hair. It was an Inu tradition to keep their hair long.

His mother, the woman who brought my soul back from the underworld, stood before them, completing the ceremony, bringing the two Inu clans together – the West and the East. Hira was the beautiful daughter of the Eastern Inu Lord, and bringing the East great honour and serenity marrying my Lord- Lord Sesshomaru.

Over the past few weeks I had been able to be around her, and for a demon there was nothing that appeared sinister. She was always wearing a smile, gentle and warm. Nothing like Lord Sesshomaru. She reminded me of… myself?

It seemed like fate would always hold my life and give it a twist that always had me in shambles. I, a 22 year old female who had never been married, or carried a child yet, was watching everyone around me move forward with their life.

Kagome and Sango, when I was 17 had noticed and told me when Lord Sesshomaru came back for me, that I should stay in the village, that he would break my heart. But did I listen to them? No. Should I have? Yes.

But my heart could not help the attachment I had to my lord, wanting to be near him at all times. Wanting to make him happy even though he did not show it outwrdly. I knew that through the gestures he would show me, that he was pleased, he was happy. And I, I was happy with just that.

I loved him. I loved him with all my heart, and it was true what the villagers said about me. My heart was taken by a demon. A demon that had saved me, and had given me more to life than just being alive. I loved him, but now, now I would truly never get to tell him, to have a chance if he would allow it.

His mother had a major part in the ceremony that was taking place at this moment. She had pushed for the engagement, but I know that he had warmed up to Hira. He had enjoyed her company like he did with me.

Now instead of me sitting in the garden with his head on my lap, it was Hira. The first day Sesshomaru had ever laid his head in my lap and closed his eyes, was the day I thought my heart would burst from my chest. I followed him on his routes between different clans, silently standing there with him. Always close by, but now, I was replaced with a demoness who would possibly if not already, hold his heart.

The last five years had been wonderful, but now I would be abandoned. This time, it almost seemed to hurt worse than when my family had been killed.

Watching Lord Sesshomaru and Hira, they were now at the part of the traditional Ceremony, where Sesshomaru would lift her red veil, and silently kiss the middle of her forehead, where the crest of the Sun sat on Hira. While their power surrounded them and bonded.

Lifting her veil, I swallowed watching this play out in front of me, my chest aching as though someone had driven a sword through me.

"Jaken-sama…." Whispering, I tapped the imp who I had also followed my whole life.

"Shh girl, what is it." Not breaking his intense gaze at his master, his happiness flooding from around him. How could he be so happy..

"I will head back to my room now, I am afraid I am not well." With a quick nod and his attention back towards the platform, I quickly slipped out of the crowd that was watching the ceremony held in front. I could not watch him bind himself to another.

Walking away I was sure I had been unnoticed, but little did I know that as my figure retreated, golden orbs gazed in my direction..

.

Practically sprinting now, I could not help the tears that fell from my eyes. My eyes full like an oasis, deep with emotion.

Clenching my teeth I could not muffle my sobs enough into my kimono sleeve. I was heartbroken, and it was the most ridiculous things to be so as I knew that he as a powerful demon, who despised humans, and would never give his heart to one. No matter who I was, his pride was larger than his emotions and it was Lord Sesshomaru. I already knew I had no hope, no chance but it didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.

Shuffling into my extravagant room, I closed my door, walking to the westernized bed that had a full canopy hanging over it.

Sitting on the edge I remember coming here when I was 17. Climbing onto the bed, tucking myself into a ball, I remembered the happiest day when he brought me back…

"Rin, this shall be your room. Lord Sesshomaru is at the end of this hall." Jaken pronounced looking up at me. "Go on girl, look inside. When the Western Palace was done, we had it filled with foreign items, the design matching that of the westerners." Opening the door, I couldn't help but gasp at the beautiful items before me.

My room crisp and clean, my sleeping arrangement magnificent. It made me want to…jump on it.

Running over to what Jaken called a "bed and canopy" I could feel its plush top under my toes, springs in it raising my body over and over. Laughing I could not help but feel like someone was watching and as I turned around I could see the tall figure standing in my entry way.

"Lord Sesshomaru! Arigato!"

Smiling, I climbed down carefully running over. "I assume the room is to your liking?" He asked waiting for my acknowledgement.

"I love it my Lord. Thank you, Rin does not deserve this kind of treatment." Suddenly his hand cupped my cheek.

"Rin deserves this, and whatever else this Sesshomaru can give you." It was the first time my heart had skipped a beat, and a blush had covered my face due to his forwardness. As a 17 year old girl, I suddenly realised what the emotions I had been feeling were, what Kagome and Sango had explained to me.

.

I wish that life could have stayed how it was. That it was I that was binding my life to Sesshomaru. That it was I who would carry his heir(s) to his empire. Who he would hold, and be affectionate with. Why had fate made me a human who could not be with him? Why did Hira get to have him.

I could feel the anger rising in me, but, that was truly not who I was. Was I a bitter person now? Jealousy infested- like a festering wound? Disgraceful. Turning over on my back, staring towards the ceiling, where the fabrics fell from. Closing my eyes, I could not help but let the exhaustion overcome me. "Lord Sesshomaru…."

.

When my eyes decided to lift, they felt sore. Sore from the crying, but it was the darkness that caught my attention more. Had I slept for more than a day? Why was it dark out when I had fallen asleep? What had woken me in the middle of the night? It was then I realised, my body had been covered with the quilted blanket at some point. Maybe Jaken? Or Koya perhaps?

Looking over at the corner of my room though, two golden eyes looked back at me. "Lord Sesshomaru?" I couldn't help how my heart raced, not only in fear but confusion about why he was standing in my room, his arms crossed across his chest.

"Rin." In a quick movement, he stood beside my bed. Through the moonlight shining through my window, I could tell his hair had been let down and he wore a Black and Gold designed Haori and black Hakama. What he wore today with Hira…

"My lord, what brings you to my room so late at night. I feel as though your festivities are still going on by the lights that come from outside still." It was true I could see the light and shadow illuminating now that my eyes had adjusted.

"Rin, are you alright? Jaken did not know where you had gone. Are you well?" He asked, his eyes glowing in the darkness, warming my chest. Looking away I could not help but fiddle with the fabric.

"I am well my Lord, please don't worry about me.."

"Rin." The way he said my name… "Why do you lie to this Sesshomaru? Have I displeased you." Why was he so worried about what had displeased me?

"My Lord, I was just tired, I needed rest." Giving him a small smile, I could tell I had not convinced him.

"You were crying, not only could I smell your tears, but while you slept you seemed ..restless." His authoritative voice covering me. I could not help but let tears escape my eyes once more. Quickly bringing my kimono's sleeves to hide my eyes, I could feel the edge of my bed fill with the weight of Lord Sesshomaru, and soon his hand was cupping my cheek, pushing my hands away. A sign of affection he had come to do over the years whenever I was sad, or he was showing emotion.

"Why do you cry?" He asked, his eyes seemingly searching my own for an answer, and before I could repress the words, they were there slipping through my lips.

"Because, Rin loves this Sesshomaru."

TBC.

I have had this idea floating around for a while, and I should update my other stories which im trying but when you have an idea its hard to let it escape. I am a college student so my uploading is sporadic and Im sorry im hoping that end of march will allow me to update regularly.

Soundless Slumber