FAGE 10: Reborn
Title: Secrets I Must Keep
Written for: AcrossTheSkyInStars
Written By: cloemarrie
Rating: T
Summary/Prompt used: Road trip gone awry. Like faded edges on an old letter, the actions of our past never change, they just become blurry over the years.
If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this exchange visit the facebook group: Fanficaholics Anon: Where Obsession Never Sleeps, or add the C2 to get all the stories direct to your inbox. www. Fanfiction community /FAGE- Reborn /113100 /99 /0 /1 /0/0 /0/ 0/ (without spaces)
I want to thank my amazing beta Tammy Jaspersen VIcek she did an awesome job at making this readable. Along with TheDarkestFallingStar for her amazing beta skills! I also want to thank MarieCarro for her amazing artistic skills, as always your banners are amazing! she's also co writing a story with me called The Runaways…you should check it out!
I really hope you enjoy this story Tanya!
I sat on my bed rereading the letter, thinking about the world I left behind the day I graduated high school. Leaving everyone I knew and loved behind for new adventures, for the secrets I must keep.
Life wasn't supposed to turn out this way. That wasn't in the plans. Bella and I were only going to be gone a few short weeks and then come spring we'd be going to college and living together. The plan was to graduate high school, travel during the summer, and come home in time to start college. But the plan changed a couple of weeks after we left home, after graduation.
*Flashback*
We were staying in a small motel in Little Rock, relaxing from driving for two days when I began throwing up. I thought it might have been something I ate so I didn't really think much of it. Then a week went by and I was still throwing up. Bella, being the concerned friend, suggested a hospital visit, but I refused. I hated hospitals and my parents would get an alert from the insurance company since I'm still on their plan and I didn't want to worry them over something so simple.
"What if you're pregnant?" Bella suddenly asked, surprising me.
"What? How could I be pregnant?" I asked, shocked that she would ask that. I mean, I did tell her I'd had sex with Paul even though my parents hate him, but still.
"Sex, duh!" The smartass said as she howled in laughter. I didn't think it was so funny, though.
"Bella, I'm serious. My parents would kill me," my voice trembled.
"Your parents wouldn't kill you, they love you too much," she was still giggling as if it was a joke and I'm freaking out.
"Isabella Marie Swan, I'm being serious," I snapped as I used her full name.
"Okay, okay! Geez, you don't have to full name me," the giggling stopped when she realized what happened. I never used her full name unless I was pissed or panicky. "Rose, everything's going to be alright. When's the last time Aunt Flo visited you?"
There was silence for a few minutes while I thought over her question and counted back to my last period. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I froze.
"Earth to blondie," Bella was snapping her fingers in front of my face to get my attention.
"Bella, I think we need to go to the store," I whispered as my heartbeat rose and sounded in my ears. I was on the verge of a panic attack and it wasn't pretty.
Bella silently grabbed her purse, keys, and led us quietly to the car. The quietness was deafening and a heaviness hung in the air as we made our way over to the store a block away, bought a test, and went back to the room.
I opened the box and read the instructions before going into the small bathroom, did my business, and sat the stick on the counter. With every passing second my anxiety grew, my stomach churning and threatening to bring up what food I had left in my stomach as I waited, watching the time and test before me. Three minutes passed, I went into the bathroom to check the results and there on the stick staring back at me were two very pink lines. I began sobbing. Sobbing for my parents, for my future that was once clear but now uncertain.
Bella pulled me into a hug and sat us on the bed letting my tears ruin her shirt.
"Rose, it'll be okay. We'll figure this out."
"B, what am I going to do? What will I tell my parents?" I asked through my tears.
"We'll figure this all out in a day or so, you need to get some sleep," she ushered me under the blankets. "You don't have to tell anyone anything...at least not yet."
"B, thank you for always being there for me," I smiled a watery smile as I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes.
"What are friends for?"
*End Flashback*
My fears that night were valid. I was pregnant by the guy my parents hated, the bad boy of the town, and the womanizer guys wanted to be and girls screamed over. But I loved him. He was the man I saw myself spending the rest of my life with. Fantasy? Yeah, it may have been, but I was just a child back then and life was different.
My hands shook as my heart broke, reading the words of a long lost friend once again.
Rose,
I know when I left you made me promise to not interfere with your life, to let you grow into the woman you wanted to be on your own merit without the trials your parents would place on you for the fear of losing your daughter and not breathe a word about home unless asked, and I've kept my word for ten years, but there is something you really need to know.
There's no easy way to tell you and I would have preferred to tell you over the phone than a letter but… Paul's gone. His sister found him in the living room watching TV. She thought he was sleeping and tried to get him up to go to bed…he wouldn't budge. She called 911. When the paramedics got there they pronounced him dead on arrival.
To make a long story short, he had a heart attack. Seems years of partying have finally caught up with him.
I know this is the last thing you wanted to hear, especially now, but life is too short and your daughter has the right to know what's left of her father's family even though her father is no longer with us.
Everyone misses you and though I made a promise, Rose, your absence causes great ache for your parents. They miss you and they worry that they'll never see you again.
Just consider it, Rose.
I hope to see you soon, but if not, I understand. Your happiness and the happiness of your daughter come first beyond anything else.
Miss and love you girl,
Besties forever,
B
I was still staring at the letter with shaky hands and a heavy heart when Emmett came home. I honestly couldn't tell you why I was upset over the news, well not upset but… broken. I haven't shed a tear since the day I made the decision of staying away from my home town and running from the past. Maybe it was missing my parents or my best friend, or maybe it was Paul's passing without knowing his little girl, but I couldn't be sure. This is the first time the old Rosalie showed, the one who was fragile yet guarded. I've always had my guard up when it came to my emotions.
Ever since I've received the letter, I've been in this weird, emotional state and Emmett's been worried over me. So since Jasmine was at a friend's house this weekend I've decided to finally let him know about my past and where I came from, who my parents are, and what made me run away from home. It's high time I tell Emmett my life story.
Yet, I was still terrified… terrified of the unknown and even though Emmett says he loves me, and I actually believe him, it wasn't fair of me to keep secrets from him, especially ones as important as these and for so long. It was sad that it took a letter from my past to get me to tell him.
"Babe, is everything alright?" Emmett asked in concern as he stepped into the room.
I nodded, looking up at him from my position on the bed. "Come, sit. I need to talk to you about something."
My hands shook as I held out the letter. I was afraid he may leave me for keeping these secrets for so long. But, I missed my family back home and Emmett deserved to know the truth after all these years.
"What is this?" he asked looking at the letter. "What is it we need to talk about?"
"This is a letter...from my best friend...from back home," my voice shook as I explain. I never spoke of home, only mentioned Bella once or twice over the years because of the shame I felt and the fear of everything..
We sat in silence as I watched him read the letter and my heart broke even more for him as I watched the emotions flicker across his usually cheerful face.
"What's all this about?" he asked in a whisper.
"I wanted to tell you so many times over the years but I couldn't bring myself to speak of that time, of my past. I was ashamed of who I use to be and I just wanted… I wanted to forget. Besides, we have a good thing going and I didn't wanna ruin it. I didn't wanna lose you," I explained, honestly. "Em, I love you and Jasmine more than life itself. If you knew, if she knew... "
My heart was breaking with every word that spewed from my lips, tears trailing down my cheeks and I pressed my hand to my mouth to stifle the sob that wished to release. I could see the hurt in his eyes, on his face and it made this all the more worse.
"Rose, I wouldn't have left you and I'm not going to leave you now, even if you had told me the truth back then. Everyone has a past, that's life. I love you and my little girl more than my own life," he responded, sincerely. "I'm not going to lie and say that it doesn't hurt that you've waited this long to tell me, but you're not gonna lose me over this. In fact, I say that we go back to your hometown and you can show me where you grew up, what do you say?"
"I say, you're nuts," I whispered as he took my hand in his own and brushed away the tears with the other.
I don't deserve this man...
"Rosalie, I'm being serious," he stated. "I want to see where you grew up. I want to finally meet your parents and I want to show off our little girl to the world you left behind."
"I swore to myself, a long time ago, that I'd never return to that town, that life," I explain. "I was not...a good girl. I did some things I'm not proud of, burnt bridges and...I just can't forgive myself for it and don't think my parents will either."
Emmett frowned at that. "I understand...well, no I don't, but I'll support your decision either way. I just think you should go back, you might be surprised."
"You're not angry?" I questioned.
"Oh, I am angry but not for the reason you think," he answered. "I'm angry that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me your fears, your life, about Jasmine's father and why you never spoke of home. I've never given you a reason not to."
"Em, it wasn't because I didn't trust you...I was ashamed of who I was...my parents were strict and I did what all children do with strict parents… I rebelled. I drank, I partied all night, I broke into the school and caused property damage… I hung around all the wrong people and dated the school's bad boy because my parents hated it… if it wasn't for Bella…" I explain quickly, hoping to squash that thought from his mind, grasping his left hand between my own.
Emmett still couldn't look at me, his eyes downcast and his free hand plucked at the blanket, oh did it ache that I made him think that… that I made the man I love second guess himself and my love for him.
Tears seeped down his cheeks as he slowly stood up and walked to the window without a word. My heart was pounding with every second that passed without a word from the man I loved.
"Baby, I'm sorry," I whispered as my heart continued to break for him.
"Do you miss it?" he whispered as he turned back to the bed. "Do you miss home?"
"I do miss my family," I answered. "I miss my best friend, but I'm scared to go back."
"Then we should go. They deserve...at least Jazz deserves to know her family," he stated. "Doesn't she?"
"I know you're right, she does deserve to know," I agreed. "They'd be so happy and relieved as well to see me and meet you and Jazz...at least I'm hoping so."
"Then we go?" he asked, hope in his eyes.
"We go," I agreed, smiling for the first time in hours.
~~~SIMK~~~
"Mom, I thought I was staying the weekend at Aria's?" Jasmine asked when she walked through the door.
Emmett left to pick Jaz up from Aria's when we'd agreed to return to my home town. We'd also agreed, before we make the trip home, to explain to Jasmine who her father was, the tragedy of his passing, and who our family is back home. I was hoping to wait until she was older but Em was right, it's time we had the talk, it's time we had no more secrets between us.
"Jaz, I know we said you can stay over Aria's for the weekend but plans have changed," I explained with a nervous smile.
"But why?" she asked again.
"Baby, just have a seat on the couch," Emmett instructed her.
Once she was seated, Em and I sat on either side of her, and we began to explain to her of the past, and her late father.
"Jasmine, the first thing you need to know is about your father," I began the story.
"I thought you were my dad," she looked at Emmett, confused.
"Jaz, I am your daddy, but this is about your birth father. The man your mom was with before you were born and before your mom and I met," Em explained. "Now, no more questions until we get done explaining, okay sweetie?"
"Yes, daddy," Jasmin nodded as she mimed the silent motion with zipping her lips and throwing the key away.
"Anyway, baby girl, your biological father's name was Paul Lahote. He, myself, and another friend had known each other since we were babies. When we reached high school your father separated from us and became a bad person and did bad things. My parents didn't like him and when I turned seventeen I rebelled against them and starting dating him and doing things I wasn't proud of," I explained. "Before graduation I did something that my parents would have been angry about and that's when I became pregnant with you but didn't know it until a while later. My best friend and I went on a summer trip and that's when we found out that I was having you. Your grandparents may have understood, but I didn't want to take that chance. I couldn't risk them having me give you up, so I ran, and that's when I met your daddy. He has been here ever since and he loves you more than anything in the world."
"I may just be a child, mama, but I do understand. I don't think I want to meet them if they are mean enough to make you run away," Jasmine replied as her lips quivered.
"Baby, don't cry. I'm not trying to upset you. I was wanting to explain this all to you and to tell you that we will be heading home, back to where everything started," I tried to reassure her.
"Why do we gotta go there if they're all mean like you said?" she asked.
"Sweetie, that was ten years ago, before you were born. Things change, life changes. What I understand from the letter I'd received from my childhood friend, your grandparents miss me and want me to come home. What they don't know is I'm bringing you and daddy back with me," I explained with a smile.
"Mommy, before we go...tell me about them," she tried to smile.
"Well, growing up, grandpa Shawn and grandma Amber were very strict parents. They didn't like me wearing certain clothing, didn't like me hanging out with certain people...they wanted me to be on the right track. But me being a teenager with strict parents, I rebelled. When I found out I was pregnant with you I was scared so that's why I ran. It wasn't because they'd actually make me give you up, it was out of fear. I'm sure when they meet you, they'll adore you," I explained, smiling as I tickled her side.
"Mommy, stop it!" she shrieked.
"This has lightened things up a bit," Em breathed out a sigh of relief.
"When are we going to meet these people? Meet my birth father?" Jasmine inquired.
"There's something that you need to know before we head out," I replied, sadly.
"What else is there to know?" she questioned.
"Well, it's not possible for you to meet him and it really breaks my heart," I explained. "Because, he recently passed away."
"What do you mean, mommy?"
"Sweetie, he's in heaven, he's up there with grandma May," I tried to explain as I watched Emmett's face fall.
May was a sweet woman with a heart of gold. We lost her last spring due to vulvar cancer, a very rare female cancer. And it destroyed Emmett. He was a mama's boy; she was the only parent he had left. I never got to meet his dad because he was a small boy when his father passed away.
"It breaks my heart that you don't get to meet your father. But you still have family out there and they would love to meet you," I told Jasmine as I picked her up into my lap.
"I would love to meet them," Jasmine said as tears ran down her face.
"Then you shall, my love," Emmett spoke. "Then you will."
We embraced in a family hug as I kissed Jasmine's forehead.