It was just another day on whatever shitty planet Sonic lives on. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and Dr. Robotnik was taking a shit on Sonic's front lawn. Sonic awoke to the sound of his wife Sally.

"Sonic, time for breakfast.

Sonic sat on the side of his King size bed. Sonic snorted a line of cocaine.

"Ugh, here we go again.

Sonic put on his robe and headed downstairs to the kitchen where his slut wife and their shit stain kids, Manic and Sonia morning, his family said in unison. Sonic ignored them and headed straight for the coffee and a bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey that he kept hidden from the family. He then took a seat next to his son Manic who liked to use his hands for eating food instead of using his fork. This drove sonic up the fucking wall.

" Why do you this shit?"Sonic scolded.

Manic looked at his father in confusion. "

We've been through this shit a million fucking times, USE YOUR GODDAMN FORK! IT'S THERE FOR A REASON!"

"Oh leave him alone" Sally interrupted. Sonic turned to Sally.

"YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING WHORE MOUTH WHEN I'M DISCIPLINING MY SON!"

Sally didn't say a word. She just stood back and let Sonic continue. Sonic turned back to his son

"You feeling lucky, huh, you little shit?" "Go ahead." "Do it." Put your hand in your fucking food again, please". "I dare you."

Manic, feeling cocky, took his index finger slowly raised to the sky and then quickly brought it down quickly all over his pancakes. Big mistake. Sonic had a huge grin on his face.

"You just made my day."

Sonic took a huge swig of his jack Daniels Coffee grabbed manic by the neck, picked him up and choked slammed him on the kitchen table.

"THAT'LL TEACH YOU SOME FUCKING TABLE MANNERS YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Sonia started to cry.

"YOU BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE YOUR BROTHER"

Sonic then snorted five more lines of cocaine and stormed out of the spent most of his time at the strip club. It was the only place where sonic could feel like his old self again. Outside of the club Sonic saw Rotor giving a blowjob to Antoine. Sonic ignored this and kept walking. It was a slow day, so most of the strippers were old wrinkly slutbags whose bodies were scared from C-sections. Sonic took a seat and ordered a drink. There he saw Tails who gave up life as a mechanic, to become a pimp with his mother, Rosemary who became Tails' number one ho. Sonic took his drink and sat with the Prowers.

"Hey tails, what are you doing here?"

Before Tails could speak, his mother his blew her nose in the most disgusting way possible. Tails then smacked the shit out of her. "BITCH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"(Serves her right).

Tails looked back at Sonic.

"Ah you know, just scoping some new talent." The whores I have now are getting old and used 's when the DJ made an announcement."

"Tonight we have a fresh face give it up for HOT PINK!"

A pink hedgehog with huge breasts, a slim waist and a curvy ass came out on stage. She was wearing a g-string and heels. Sonic could not believe his eyes. It was none other than Amy Rose. The little brat who use to annoy Sonic had now become a full grown woman. The more she danced the harder Sonic got. The way she danced, Sonic could have sworn she was inviting him. But Sonic didn't want to cheat on Sally, even if he wasn't attracted to her anymore, so he got up and left the then Sonic got a phone call from His wife.

"Hello, Sonic answered.""Hey sonic listen can you pick up some groceries?"

"Sure" sonic replied.

"Unh!"Sally moaned.

"What was that?"Sonic asked. "Nothing! I-I-got to go bye.

"She hung up the phone. Meanwhile Sally was on her bed on all fours. Monkey Khan popped up behind her with a chocolate moustache.

"Who the hell was that?" "Nobody." Said Sally. "Now get back to work!"

Sonic hung up.

"Fuck it" Sonic went back in the club to look for Amy.