Konnichiwa, minna-san! Please enjoy my first work, a fic where things the human mind cannot perceive happen at random. Yeah. Just read. (Oh, and I have no idea if this has been done before, so sorry if it looks like I'm stealing)

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King, 4Kids, Charmin, M&Ms, "Pod People", Chia Pets or anything else that may appear here that I don't own.

Chapter 1: "MORTY"?! , Charmin King, and other offenses

Early one lazy summer morning…….

"AUUUUUUGHH!!"

Yoh's head jerked up in surprise, knocking Anna's mangas off the coffee table. Yes, that's right, he was under the table. Why? Uh…..um….because its my story, so shut up. "That sounded like Manta!"

Getting up, he heads purposefully towards the living room.

"YOH!! GET BACK HERE AND PICK UP MY MANGAS!!"

He cringed at Anna's voice. "But what if Manta's in danger?"

"That can wait."

"But…."

"NOW!"

"Yes, Anna…." He hurriedly scooped up the mangas and dumped them on the coffee table.

Yoh wasn't the only one startled by Manta's outburst. Amidamaru floated out of his memorial tablet, looking rattled and rubbing his head.

"Lord Manta, why are you yelling? And at this hour….."

But Manta was just standing in front of the television, a look of pure horror on his cute little face.

Yoh finally makes it into the room, "Manta, whats up?"

"…"

"…Manta?" He stands in front of Manta, between him and the tv.

"M….M….."

"Manta? What's wrong? What are you trying to say?"

"M…..M….."

"Milkshake?"

"M….Muh….."

"M&Ms? Microwave? Mitochondria?" racks his brain for more "m" words.

"M……M……MORTY?!?!"

Yoh anime-falls. "What??" O_o

"MY NAME IS MORTY?!?!"

"Huh?" Now Yoh is genuinely confused.

Manta finally snaps out of it and looks at Yoh. His face is twisted into a very scary expression.

"Manta?" O_O;

"Be careful, Lord Yoh! This may not be Manta at all, but an evil clone set to destroy us all!" Amidamaru raises his sword.

"You've been watching Pod People again, haven't you?"

Amidamaru glances away sheepishly "Maybe…"

"That's it. I'm installing a child block." He turns back to Manta, who is still grinning maniacally. "Um…Manta…..why did you yell 'My name is Morty'?"

"You must really be stupid." Anna's voice floated from the doorway.

"Anna?" Yoh turns to her, ticked but more confused and worried about Manta. "So you know what's going on?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Not really…."

Anna sighs, "Manta is angry at the American dubbers."

"The American what?"

Harsher sigh "Dubbers. They take a perfectly good anime, us for example, and twist it horribly…"

"Gasp!"

"They censor it."

"Horror!"

"Edit it."

"Trauma!"

"And give us idiotic English names."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Manta pulls out his giant encyclopedia. "They had to push it…..had to change my name…..and into 'Morty' of all things!"

Yoh looks at his friend, worried. "Manta….what are you going to do with that?"

"What I should've done a looong time ago, Yoh." He still has that psycho look on his face, as he reaches into the depths of the encyclopedia and pulls out…a hand grenade!

O_O "Manta, lets not be hasty….."

"I've been waiting for this day…..the day I seek out my revenge on the scourge…..the dubbers…." Squinty-eyed drama face "This is MY day…"

"But Manta…isn't this a little….extreme? Just for a name change?"

Before the conversation could get any further, Amidamaru exclaimed, "Lord Yoh! The picture and sound box speaks of us!"

They all turn to look at the television. The theme to the dubbed Shaman King starts, showing Yoh and Amidamaru about to intergrate.

Yoh watches, grinning "sweet!"

But instead of Amidamaru in spirit form, Yoh's hand is revealed to hold….

O_O "A roll of toilet paper?? With….our faces on it?!"

"What is this….'toilet paper', Lord Yoh?"

"You don't wanna know…."

"Brought to you by 4Kids network and the makers of Shaman King, what could be cushier on your tushy than your favorite Shaman King characters?

to the tune of the theme 'Charmin King……Charmin Kiiing!'

Yes, if your spirit is strong, then be the one to pick up Shaman King toilet paper at your local convenience store today! Cha Cha Cha! Charmin!" The commercial ends.

Amidamaru and Yoh gape at the screen.

"But…what IS this toilet paper?"

Yoh explains it to him, going slightly red.

Amidamaru gives an outraged yell, "WHAT?!"

"But this isn't just ANY toilet paper. This is the softest, fluffiest toilet paper in existence!"

"Pure evil! How DARE they use our faces to wipe their posteriors?!"

Manta jumps in "See?! They must be stopped! Who KNOWS whats next….bathtowels….shampoo…..maybe even…..CHIA PETS!!" O_O

"NOT CHIA PETS!!"

"We must go to America!"

"YEAH!!"

"We must put an end to this!!"

"By ANY means possible!!"

"LETS GO!!"

"YEAH!!"

"HOLD IT!!" Anna glares fiercely at them.

Yoh shakes his head, "Don't try to stop us, Anna. This is waaay over the line. Manta, Amidamaru and I will NOT stand for the dubbers anymore!!" (Don'tcha love it when he gets all dramatic?)

"I'm not going to stop you, Yoh. I want you to take me with you. I have a beef against these bastards too."

"Really? What?"

"They made my voice even more whiny and high-pitched than the runt!" (Its true. In the manga, I pictured her to have a much deeper, more serious voice to match her personality. In the anime, she sounds like a whiny bitch)

"Hey!" Manta glowers at being called a runt.

Yoh scratches his chin "Theres only one thing left…how do we afford plane tickets to America?"

How indeed? So, that's the first chapter. Like I said, this is my first ever story so be gentle yet honest. Like? Don't like? I'll continue if you like it! But I won't know if you do unless you click the little "review" button. Ja ne, people of Earth! ^_^