Harry's Unsent Letter
I don't know how to start this except to say thankyou for being mine. Thankyou for those days in the sunshine by the lake. Thankyou for those long nights in the prefect's bathroom, just you and me. Thankyou for the visits to Hogsmede.
You're there. I'm here. So close yet so very far. You didn't want to leave and I tried to find the key to my heart, to unlock the door and set you free but you hid it. You didn't want to leave.
Maybe you haven't left. Maybe you are with me now. I can almost see you; almost feel you as you whisper in my ear how much you want me. I see you in my dreams. I hear you whisper, hear you call my name but I am afraid. Afraid to lift my arm and reach for your hand. Afraid for you. Afraid for me.
You said you didn't have to leave. You lied. You loved me enough to lie for me. You had to leave. I wouldn't let you stay. He would have killed you and taken my heart with you. I sacrificed our love to destroy him but its not enough. It never is.
I wish with all my heart I could take back what I said. I wish you were small enough to fit in my moleskin purse. You'd be safe there. Or would you? Sometimes I think the only place you would be safe is in my arms. I wish I could hold you right now. You'd be real then.
I miss you so fucking more then I could say. I miss holding you in my arms. I miss the feel of slipping inside you. I miss you curled up by my side, in my bed. I miss your laughter and your voice and all the things I may never have again
I miss the steady beat of your heart against my cheek. I wish it was over