A/N: Sorry for the disappearance guys! I'm posting this as proof that I'm still ARRIIIIVE. I haven't gone off writing so don't worry the readers that I do have. My eyes watered as I wrote this. Maybe it's because I have been watching Ryuuji/Minori (Toradora!) AMVs, and they always get me all depressed.
"They were made for each other." Someone whispers next to me as they dance gracefully inside the circle the audience has formed. At least it's a wedding, and I have an excuse to cry. I'm crying because she's right.
They're Amu and Ikuto. Ikuto and Amu; or course they are.
I managed to convince myself that very same fact as soon as it had become clear that they were dating. It all really pieced together when they announced their engagement, and I decided to fully give up on him.
I thought I had as well, but it is obvious that I was wrong, since I stand here watching the bride and groom dance with such feelings of emptiness and heartbreak inside me.
They pause and look up at each other for a while, and then Amu leans up on her toes and kisses him tenderly. He smiles softly before cupping her face and pulling her closer, kissing her back.
It feels as if suddenly someone has punched me mercilessly in the stomach, and I gasp. Tears flow down my face as my hand flies to my mouth, trying to muffle my agonised chokes and sobs.
Life, existence -now meaningless.
She pulls away abruptly, her cheeks glowing with embarrassment and her smile sheepish. She looks over her shoulder, over my way.
Immediately, I snap back into 'Maid of Honour' mode, crinkling a wave at her. Her golden eyes lighten up as I smile back at her and wink.
Lifting up the front of the gown, that I helped pick out, she runs over to me and tightly wraps her small arms around me.
"I love you, Utau," she's crying too as she murmurs it, "Thank you, for everything."
Now I'm crying from guilt, happiness and loss. Guilt for crying over not being with her fiancé; happiness for the fact that my best friend is getting married to my brother. Loss because of the fact I had to give up my very first love to her; it just didn't seem fair.
Laughing nervously we sniffle and I shoo her away, with the excuse that I'm going to wet myself, and that she should go return to the love of her life.
As soon as she is once again lost in his eyes, I swiftly make my escape.
I look up from the bathroom sink into the mirror as I rub the water carefully to my face; I want to freshen up, but I don't want the hours I spent getting ready to go to waste.
I'm a pretty girl, I notice. I was blessed with a pair of big, unusually coloured eyes and long, silky blonde hair which some girls would die for. I'll find someone else, I decide, feeling a twinge of hope in my heart. A small smile manages to creep its way onto my face, and I walk out.
Stepping out the door, I bump into something.
I peek upwards, locking onto a pair of worried green eyes.
"K-Kukai..." I say, ruffling my fringe so that it covers my eyes, thus covering the fact I had just been crying.
His expression changes from an anxious worry, like he was looking for me, to one of, what seemed like, pity; I didn't it.
"Excuse me..." I say sharply, running into his shoulder as I run away.
Just as I do, I feel his hand catch my wrist sharply.
Turning to face him, I notice his eyes have changed yet again, this time with a mix of sadness and hurt.
Stupid Kukai.
"Utau..." he says softly, gently pushing the hair out of my eyes, and tucking a loose strand behind my ear.
Isn't it funny how a simple act of somewhat kindness can trigger all tears you had so skillfully hidden behind a smile?
So, stupidly, Kukai pulls me closer, places a hand on my head and then places it on my chest. I feel his heartbeat quicken slightly, before it goes back to its regular rhythm.
All the tears that had been swimming in my eyes are squeezed out as I close them to bury my face in his t-shirt. His smell clouds my brain, and I breathe it in greedily as my arms find their way to his back; his embrace is reassuring and relaxing.
Kukai really is amazing, but can he fix my broken heart?