Chapter I
"Made it with some time to spare," nineteen year old redhead Nathan Thompson says, dropping into his recliner. Grabbing the remote, he turns the TV on to watch Kim Possible. He reaches for his pack of cigarettes, only to remember he smoked the last one on his way home from work. "Dang it!" he yells. "I was in such a rush to get home in time to see the new episode it slipped my mind." He looks at his watch and realizes he has fifteen minutes before the show starts. After a few seconds of his eyes darting back and forth between the TV and his watch, he decides to chance it. It usually only takes about ten minutes by foot because the gas station is only a couple of blocks away. "I'll drive anyway just to be on the safe side," he says aloud, grabbing his keys and running out the door.
Eight minutes later, Nathan is about to climb back in his car and drive back to his apartment when he feels a tap on his shoulder and hears a middle aged woman ask, "Excuse me, sir? My car has been acting up lately and now it won't start at all. Could you give me a jump, please? I've got cables."
"Yeah, sure," he says without giving it a second thought. He knows he can just watch it another time, but this lady needs help now.
"Shego, get him off!" Dr. Drakken yells at his assistant. "How can something so soft be so heavy?"
"Hey, when you have hair down to your butt you'll understand. Besides, my arms are pinned down so I can't really…"
The immense weight is lifted off of the two villains as Mr. Sitdown suddenly stands up and walks away, leaving them free to move. Drakken brushes himself off as they stand up, groaning at his current appearance. "How did I ever let those Evil Eye fellows talk me into this?"
"Finally figured out you look like an idiot?" Shego responds, getting up herself and folding her arms. "Now where's your little portal thingy to get us home?"
"Dimensional compiler, Shego," Drakken corrects her.
"Like I said, portal thingy," the woman continues, knowing just how her uncaring nature needles her employer.
"Yes, whatever," he hisses as he picks the compiler up off of the ground. "Now let's get out of here before you find another way for these felt creatures to punish us." Drakken presses a few buttons and the cumbersomely large gadget opens a portal. "This is it. Our exit."
"Yeah, yeah. It better be, for your sake." Shego grabs Drakken's wrist and steps into the wormhole, pulling him and his device in after her. "Wrong again, Doc," she says, turning to face him. They're in a dark, unfamiliar apartment. The only light is emitting from the television screen. "I don't know where we are but it sure isn't…"
"Isn't what?" the mad scientist asks.
"You're not feeling all good, nice and chirpy, are ya?"
Drakken scowls back at her before speaking. "What are you talking about, Shego?"
"Well, that answers my question. Anyway, your skin. You're not blue."
"Say what? Quick, a light switch!"
Shego searches the room high and low for a whole minute in the dark before finding wheat she's looking for. As the lights turn on she once again turns back to face her boss. "See what I mean?"
Drakken isn't paying attention. He's too busy looking at his own hands, holding them up in front of him like he's never seen them before. He isn't feeling like he wants to cure world hunger or knit a woolen sweater. In fact, he still really only wants world domination. He's not good, so what's with the loss of skin color? As he keeps staring at his own fingers he notices something through them. His assistant's skin is as normal as his is. "It's happened to you as well."
The villainess doesn't say anything. She just looks at him before walking off towards the closest door.
"What are you looking for?"
"A bathroom."
"Shego, this isn't the time to be thinking about…"
"Mirror, Dr. D."
"Oh right."
After trying a couple of doors Shego finally finds the bathroom. While she's practically gawking at herself in the mirror, almost overwhelmed by this new change in her appearance, Drakken's going over their current situation in his head. Alright, so they aren't home just yet and their skin has changed colors. His priority however is neither problem right now. "There's obviously something wrong with the dimensional compiler. It's taken a beating after all." He decides the first order of business is to repair the broken apparatus, before worrying about what might've happened to them and, last but not least, going home.
"Are you quite finished looking at yourself?" he asks his sidekick, having walked up to the bathroom door.
Shego turns and frowns at him, noticing the dimensional compiler in his hands. "Yeah, I'm done."
"Good, because I need you to help me look for tools so I can fix this thing."
"Fine." She rolls her eyes as she follows him back into the living room.
Drakken places the compiler on top of the television the two of them apparently emerged from. "Alright," he says. "Let's spread out and find whoever lives here's toolbox. It's got to be somewhere."
Shego moves towards a doorway she checked before, when looking for the bathroom. "I'll be in the kitchen."
"Oh no you won't. I'm taking the kitchen!" Drakken rushes ahead of her, grinning like a kid on Christmas eve. "I'm the employer after all, and you're the employee."
The green and black clad woman frowns and stomps off in the opposite direction, where she finds herself in the bedroom. "No way I'm gonna find any tools here, but at least I'm not stuck with glutton boy."
In the meantime, Drakken is looking for tools himself, or well, he's feeling a bit peckish so he decides to raid the fridge first. "This will be the ultimate sandwich! Now if only I can find the pickles."
Nathan arrives back at his apartment with ten minutes left in the show. He decides to sit out on the steps and enjoy the cool breeze instead of going in and possibly seeing something that would spoil the episode.
He pulls out a cigarette and lights it, taking a deep drag. His friends and co-workers often made fun of him for hitting the door running just to get home in time to watch Kim Possible. "Haha, you watch a cartoon about high school cheerleader?" they'd laugh. "Are you gay or something?" Nathan never could quite see how watching a female cheerleader save the world counted as evidence of having an alternative sexuality, but then again, he didn't care. These were the same chuckleheads who watched every anime they could get their hands on. In his mind, they were the pot and he was the kettle.
He puts his cigarette butt in the ash can and heads upstairs to his small apartment. Opening the door, he steps inside and hangs his keys up. The sound of the theme song being played as the closing credits roll fills the apartment. Perfect timing, he thinks while heading into the living room. The ending isn't ruined, and I'm just in time to watch what's on next. Drakken and Shego are hidden from view by the kitchen and bedroom doors respectively even though they aren't trying to hide. They are as unaware of Nathan's presence as he is of their's.
Wait, why are the lights on? He looks around the room to see if anyone is there and Drakken's dimensional compiler catches his eye, and he pauses. "What in the world is this thing?" He picks it up off of the television and starts to look it over. On the bottom he sees the words Property of Dr. Drakken. "Oh whatever," he says rolling his eyes. Pranks and jokes are natural way of life for Nathan's circle of friends, so he assumes this is just the latest in an ongoing battle. He decides to play along. In his mind, his friends must have put a lot of thought into it and he does enjoy a good prank, even if it is done at his expense. "I'm sure I can come up with something better than this to pay them back," he rationalizes as he flips the machine back over and pulls the lever.
Nothing happens. "This is dumb." He shakes the machine a bit and hears some rattling from inside. "Let's try this again." He resets the lever and pulls it once more. A fluorescent green light arches from the top of it and strikes the cable box on top of the TV. There is a loud whooshing noise as a portal, coming from the television screen, opens up right in front of him. The other side looks like Drakken's lair, and Nathan swears he can see Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable talking on the other side. "Whoa, what kind of video player is this?" he wonders as he takes a couple of steps back. All of a sudden he feels himself being sucked in towards the portal. "What the…? " he yells loudly as he his pulled off his feet.
Drakken and Shego come running in from the other rooms. "My dimensional compiler!" Drakken yells. "Shego!"
"Already on it, Doc," Shego says, charging towards him.
"AAAAAHHHH! Help!" Nathan continues to yell.
"Oh you're gonna need it kid," she responds diving at him, but she's a split second too late. Because of Shego's angle of approach, she misses Nathan and flies right by the portal. The pull of the portal screws up her trajectory and she crashes into the entertainment center just as Nathan disappears. The loud crack of the cable box connecting with Shego's ankle is drowned out as the television falls off and crashes onto the floor. The glass doors shatter into hundreds of pieces, sending broken bits of glass everywhere.
"NO!" Drakken growls. "Do you realize how badly you've goofed, Shego?"
"Less than you would've?" Shego retorts, standing back up.
"That was my lair on the other side!" He rants, waving his small hands in the air. "We could have been home free if you hadn't broken the TV!"
"Yeah, and I wouldn't have glass in my leg, either," she snaps back, limping towards him.
"Yes, you wouldn't have… Wait, what?" Drakken suddenly becomes concerned as he realizes what she had said.
"Look, Doc," she tells him, pointing her right leg. The fabric is torn, and blood is trickling down her leg from several cuts.
"Oh snap, Shego! You're hurt."
"Gee, ya think?" she says, rolling her eyes.
Back in Drakken's lair, Kim is talking with Wade to set up a ride home for her and Ron when the portal opens up. Nathan is still screaming when he is deposited five feet above the ground. He lands directly on his rear-end. On his way down, he drops the device and it smashes to the floor, several pieces scattering around him. One piece, however, rolls under one of Drakken's numerous death rays.
Nathan looks up to see a confused and astonished Kim and Ron looking at him. "Uh, Wade, we might need a ride for three people. I'll get back to you on that."