One is Silver and the Other Gold
It seemed as though 'adventures' with Papa Carson and Miss Sybbie had become a regular thing as of late, but today's time together had found them indoors due to the blustery, miserably cold weather.
Bundled up against the weather, Charles had arrived at the Abbey at the pre-determined time, if not a bit early. Promptness always runs in a butler's blood, retired or not.
Entering through the back door, into the servants hall, he could hear Sybbie's father's words of caution as she skipped and hopped down the stairs into the kitchen. The clickety-click of a certain exuberant young girl's shoes on the hard stairs and floors resounded through the downstairs.
"Well, hello, Mr. Carson! It's so very good to see you! I always consider it a great day when we're able to cross paths.", said Mr. Branson.
Carson offered his hand and the two men smiled and shook.
"And I know that while Mrs. Carson is an everyday presence still here at the big house, I do enjoy her company more when I can come downstairs and spend a bit of time with her."
Though Tom Branson had gained a soft spot in Elsie's heart quite a long time ago, it was a well-known fact both upstairs and down that the butler and the chauffeur had spent many rocky years together before warming up to each other.
It didn't take much imagination to remember back to what some would call the 'wilder' days of Tom Branson, back to his days of chauffeuring, sharing freely his 'radical' ideas, pining for a Lady of the House and concocting a pot of putresence to pour over a general's head.
The adults knew full well how far they'd come in their relationship, and the marvel of it never escaped them. Tom Branson's transition from downstairs to upstairs had put quite the strain on all involved but, in the end, mutual respect and friendship triumphed.
Charles and Elsie Carson knew Sybbie had the very best of fathers in Mr. Branson; likewise, the young father would be forever thankful for the surrogate grandparents his daughter Sybbie had managed to adopt. Who adopted whom, no one really knew. But all agreed that the threesome of Miss Sybbie, Nana Carson and Papa Carson was one of the greatest gifts ever to come out of the Abbey.
"Well, Tom, it looks a bit nasty to be out adventuring today. I believe we'll stay in and keep our Mrs. Hughes company as she works through her day here." Charles was secretly pleased at the unforgiving weather outside. It meant an adventure with Miss Sybbie AND time spent with his precious wife. A double bonus, if you will.
"Sounds like a wise idea to me.", replied Tom. "Mary and I are headed over to the Mason farm for a bit. Mr. Mason's expecting us, bad weather or not. You all stay in and keep warm. I'll be back in a couple hours, Sybbie. Best behaviour, my dear… right?"
"Oh, yes, Papa. Always!", said the young girl, as she grinned up at the Carsons.
Truth be told, even with the impending distraction, Mrs. Hughes-as she was still referred to at the Abbey- was happy for the company. "Well, my love, I don't know what you and Papa Carson have planned, but I'm glad that I get to be a part of it, even if for just a bit. One of the maids has taken ill, so I'll need to head upstairs shortly and take care of some cleaning matters in the library." Even with the extra workload that day, Elsie knew it would seem much shorter by sharing a bit of time with her husband and his young charge.
"I don't know either," said Sybbie, "but I must tell you secretly that I'm so very glad that we do this, Papa Carson. It doesn't matter where our adventure takes us inside today, I'm just so very glad that we're together. Just us. Last week, Marigold was visiting here with her mama and papa and when we were playing together, she told me that she misses us all so much. She likes her new, big house but she's all alone there. Well, she's not really and truly alone. I mean there isn't anyone else her age to share the nursery with. She has no friends, she said."
Elsie glanced up knowingly at Charles, "I imagine it is hard for her, Miss Sybbie. There are so many exciting parts of being a new family together and living in a new home but, no, she doesn't have you and Master George with her anymore. "
"No, she doesn't. She said sometimes she cries because she misses us so." Sybbie had the most forlorn and sad look on her face. "But, do you know, Papa Carson? I told her about going to America. I told her I cried when Papa and I went to America. Papa said I would meet new people, girls and boys my own age. He said that, in time, I would soon be friends with them. I didn't want to make new friends. I was afraid I would forget my old friends. My George and my Marigold. I was ever so sad and afraid, Nana Carson."
"Well, love, there comes a time when we all have to leave old friends behind. That doesn't mean we will forget them or love them any less. We just will see them and hear them in our heart, rather than in person." Elsie cherished the tenderness of Miss Sybbie's heart; she reminded her so much of her mother, Lady Sybil.
"Papa Carson, were you sad when you left your old friends and came here?" Charles hesitated for a moment, not quite understanding. But when he saw Elsie give him a knowing smile, he realized that the story of Lady Sybil being present in the library when Charles Grigg came to the Abbey must have gotten passed onto Tom and then, feeling it would be a good example, Tom relayed it to his daughter in the hope that it would assuage her feelings regarding leaving old friends and making new ones.
"Yes, I suppose I was, Miss Sybbie. It did take me awhile to gain new friends when I came here. Friends aren't born overnight, remember. It takes a good, long while for two people to become true friends. But I did. I did make a few friends." He was referring to those that he had made acquaintance with in the village. He certainly could claim none as his 'friends' among the staff, certainly during his butler days- well, other than Elsie, and perhaps later on, Mrs. Patmore. He had made a few friends back during his footman days, but those had long left the Crawley's service. "And I also kept in contact with a few of my old friends. I corresponded with them for quite some time – and there are two to whom I still write on occasion. You can keep old friends for a very, very long time. You don't have to give them up just because you've met new ones. So yes, I suppose there was a time when I had both old and new friends. In fact, I suppose I still do."
Elsie was struggling in the moment, surprised at his honesty, emotion and forthrightness when answering Miss Sybbie. She felt as though she needed to contribute her thoughts, but simultaneously decided she would keep back and just observe.
"Papa said that would happen to me.", said Sybbie. "And he was right. I did have a new friend in America. Her name was Emma and she lived below us, with her aunty and uncle. We had great fun playing out back together sometimes. I told her I would miss her when Papa said we were returning to England, to Donk and Granny Cora. And I do think of her but, truly, Nana Carson, I'm just so happy to be back with my old friends. My George and my Marigold. And you. And Papa Carson."
Sybbie continued, "Papa taught me a song when we were on the boat coming back from America. I did ever so much like Emma and I was worried that, even though I was excited about coming back, I would forget her. Or I wouldn't think much of her. Or be glad that we were friends, even for just a little while."
Elsie and Charles exchanged glances, both noting the fact that the darling girl referring to Downton as her 'home' had not escaped either one of them.
Charles asked, "And do you remember the song, Miss Sybbie?"
"Oh, yes, of course! We sang it every day on the boat and even on the train ride back here. Listen! I'll sing it for you. But we have to hold hands. That's what Papa and I did every time. We make a circle when we hold hands. You'll see why because it's part of the song." She reached out her hands, grabbing one of Elsie's and tucking her other into Charles' fingers. The Carsons took ahold of each other's hand, completing their little circle.
"Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. A circle's round, it has no end. That's how long I want to be your friend."
Her sweet voice brought tears to Charles' eyes. If it's true that a lifetime of memories could flash before someone's eyes in an instant, it was happening to the dear man right then and there.
"Papa Carson! Whatever's the matter? You don't need to be sad. We're all here together. And we will always be here together – for always and forever!"
"Oh, love…It's alright. I'm just reminded of a time when I was willing to give up on a friend. It wasn't that I was afraid he would forget me-or I, him-it's that I didn't WANT to be his friend any longer. I hadn't seen him in so long and I was so sure we were finished being friends. But we weren't. We aren't. You're so right, Miss Sybbie. I've made friends since then, but this gentleman is still my friend. Friends don't always see eye to eye, but there's more than that to it, isn't there? Friends don't stop being your friend just because you may disagree at times or because you haven't seen each other in a long time."
Well, broken, damaged and long-lost friendships were not something this sweet young girl had yet to deal with but, even at her tender age, she had experienced the loss of a companion or two. And even she knew how much that hurt.
This honesty pouring out of her husband's heart, all for the benefit of this sweet lass, was almost too much for the housekeeper. Elsie had her beloved in one hand and her most favorite young girl's tiny hand in the other, and that was about the only thing preventing her from dropping into her chair in a puddle of tears.
Only she knew how impossibly hard and painful it was for her husband to talk about Charles Grigg and yet here he was, willing to share his heart if it meant, for even a moment, that it would bring Miss Sybbie to understand her feelings a bit better. That she wasn't alone. Like he used to think he was.
Nana Carson's near tears did not escape Sybbie's notice. "What is it, Nana Carson? Did the song make you sad?"
"No, love, it reminded me of how hard it is to make friends, leave friends and keep friends that you have a special spot in your heart for, but you don't often get to see. And how it feels when you wish to keep them and you have to let them go –at least from your presence."
Elsie continued, "Before I came here to Downton, I had a dear friend that I knew I would miss terribly. I knew leaving was the right thing, for so many reasons, but my heart was breaking just thinking that I would likely not ever see this friend again. My mam and da encouraged me to leave, to go on to the next chapter of my life, even though they would miss me terribly and knew how much I would miss them and others. And do you know, love, what song my da taught me before I left my home in Scotland?"
Sybbie's eyes grew wide as she stared up at her Nana Carson. "The silver and gold song?" she whispered. "This one? This one that Papa taught me?"
"Yes, love. I've never told a soul that I know the song, but it's one that I sang and hummed to myself over and over again when I first arrived here. I was afraid of forgetting and letting go of my old friends and worried that if I made new friends, I might not care so much about the ones I left behind. It comes to mind now and again, but I only ever whisper it to myself, or sometimes sing it when I'm out walking alone."
Charles looked over at Elsie, surprised yet again. No matter the years they'd spent together, here was yet another glimpse into her heart, another piece of the Elsie puzzle put into place. She glanced over to him with a small smile.
He looked at his two girls and said, "Well, it seems I'm the only one here who doesn't know this song. It looks like I've got some learning to do. Do I have any volunteers to teach me?"
Before Elsie could even formulate a reply, Sybbie pulled her hands away from their circle, jumped up and clapped them enthusiastically. "YES, Papa Carson. I'll teach you! Wait, no! Nana Carson and I will both teach you. Every time I meet you for one of our adventures, we will have a singing time. And you can practice in between. Will you do that? You have to promise to practice. Oooohhhh….maybe it could be a surprise for Papa. He knows I know the song but he doesn't know that, soon, all three of us will know it. We could sing it for him one day as a surprise. He could hold hands with us. It would make our circle even bigger!"
Elsie looked down at her favorite wee bairn, who wasn't so wee anymore, wondering how she had grown so quickly, and where the years had gone already. She said to Sybbie, "While Mr. Carson practices the song, I know someone else who might enjoy learning it. Perhaps when you visit Miss Marigold, or she comes here, you could teach it to her."
"Oh, Nana Carson, that's just the best idea ever! I'm sure I do know how she's feeling. I know she's sad sometimes and I don't want her to feel that way for very long. What a wonderful idea! Then we could ALL sing it –you and Papa Carson, Miss Marigold, Papa and me. Maybe soon, we could teach it to more people. Maybe Mrs. Patmore wants to learn it. Does she have old friends? I'm sure she does! Maybe Donk. Do you think Donk has old and new friends? Maybe Granny Violet? Imagine how big our circle would be. Oh, this could be so fun! I'm so excited!"
"Well, there you are. We will both teach it to our Papa Carson and you can teach it to Miss Marigold. Then we will all know it." Elsie was silently thanking her lucky stars for the wretched weather outside. To think that a beautiful, sunny day would have taken Miss Sybbie and Charles right out the back door, onto one of their 'adventures' and all of this precious time would never have happened.
"Yes, my loves, it will be our special song", said Charles. "It will be a wonderful reminder when we're feeling sad about our friends."
"Yes, our special song!", exclaimed Sybbie.
My, my, thought Elsie. She knew she was Charles' love, but how it tugged at her heart that he considered Miss Sybbie his other love!
And so what did the housekeeper find herself humming and singing all morning, even during her cleaning duties upstairs?
And what did Miss Sybbie sing over and over again that morning until she was confident that her Papa Carson was catching on?
And what did Elsie and Charles sing, warm hands tucked into each others', as they braved the cold walk back to the cottage later that day?
"Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. A circle's round, it has no end. That's how long I want to be your friend."