She's dirty.

All red and black and white and t a i n t e d. She's so perfect, beautiful, sexy, untouchable. She'll dip her slender finger in a drink that's pink&cold&alcoholic&oh baby, she'll lick off the stuff because that's what the boys like, and Bombalurina always does what the boys like. But oh shit, she's got a ring, a golden shiny ring on her finger—fuck, she's married. And the boys leave her a l o n e and she looks like she's been stood up, all lonely, makeup'd and sad and damn, all she has to go home to is Pouncival, and Pouncival is nothing special&he's a kit.

See this? She's not that i r r e s p o n s i b l e because guess what? She mated with Pouncival ('cos that's what Jenny told her to do) when she could have mated with Alonzo (even if he's got Cassandra but that doesn't matter, Cassandra is expendable) or better, Tugger—because he's unbearably sexy and certainly lives up to his name, if you know what I mean.

But till the next Ball she'll just cake on that glitter & put on those heels & tempt those boys because that's what she does, because she's Bombalurina the Scarlet Queen, even if it's only red and it's f a d i n g.

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She's crazy.

The shadows bend and form and "dear Everlasting he's here he's here he's here he's here, he's going to get me and someone, please save me save me save me"—but she wakes up and she's in his arms, and he isn't there and she's safe, because her knight in silver and black armor is there, and he a l w a y s w i l l b e.

But then the day comes, and it's almost as bad as the night because she's vulnerable and remembers what Jennyanydots and Jellylorum (Doesn't that sound like Jellicle? Why would I care? Gosh, Demeter.) "Oh, Demeter, set a good example for your child, even though she's a rape baby & you're not sure if you should love her or not. Her sister is her only s a v i o r, but sometimes she's not there, because she has to be Bombalurina the Scarlet Queen, while Demeter is paranoid and cowers. Because that's what she does best, just like Asparagus Junior (who is an ass, says Bomba) said.

And then the n i g h t comes, and the crash scares the living daylights out of her, but she'll close her eyes and sing, because that's what she's supposed to do during the Ball, even if she's worried&scared and off-key because she can't focus (Smile, Demeter!). But then the song is over, and "joy! Deuteronomy is back!" But no—he doesn't smell right, his aura is off—no, demeter, you're just crazy. But oh god, she knows it's him and he's going to hurt her hurt her hurt her just like he did before. So she pounces and she's right and what did she get herself into? He tries to take her and she's scared, so scared and he's going to K I L L her. But then it's over, the black and white knight saves her and she remembers when she loved him, but then she loved him, and now she loves a knight who's more like a castle, because he's going to protect her forever and not hurt her because she is Demeter, the Gold Queen. Gold like lightning, but she's more the t h u n d e r type.

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She's not good enough.

Sure, she's beautiful. But they're prettier.

She's always in the shadows, behind red and gold (despite her efforts, like how come no one noticed my new dress? Oh, never mind, Bombalurina went to the groomer's) and why do people think she's so mean? She isn't, she's just tired, because she's starves herself (because she's going to m o d e l someday, when she can get out of this place) and guess what? She's m a g i c a l too, but no one knows because she's not like Mistoffelees, she doesn't sparkle, and she's not like Coricopat&Tantomile, she doesn't have a twin who looks j u s t l i k e h e r, instead she has a cousin who's prettier than her, even if she never shows up & she thinks she's cooler than me, because she is.

Cassandra doesn't have a special name, because she isn't colorful, and she has no p o w e r s (even though she does it's just that no one cares), and she's not a Glamour Cat (Bombalurina will be j u s t l i k e h e r at the rate she's going, and that brings Cassandra great joy) and her name doesn't have three parts to it or a "the."

And then she sees that damn gold queen Demeter, did you know I was Munkustrap's mate before her? Yeah, it's true. She's all beautiful even though she's so totally disturbed and batshit crazy.

And then there's Alonzo, who doesn't really love her, he loves a rape b a b y and she really doesn't care because like herself Alonzo's nothing special, he's always second—he's not as responsible as Munkustrap and he's not as sexy or as oh god look, it's him! as the Tugger who thinks he's all that because d a m n boy, he is.

And then she kinda loves the l i t t l e magician, but that doesn't matter because she's jealous of him and she's just Cassandra. But someday she'll be more than that, she'll leave and pose and strut and she'll be like a moving mannequin, and they'll all realize how beautiful she is.

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She's never there.

Sometimes she feels like M a c a v i t y, 'cos just like him. She's not there, only when she wants to be, or when she wants to tell a story, or when she decides to g r a c e the junkyard with her unique beauty, the unique beauty that dear little Cassie is so jealous of, & Exotica likes to make Cassie jealous.

And she likes to lie to the kittens, with her tales of grandeur&pink&ribbons&glitter, and humans who love you. Because they don't know what the outside world is like, Exotica, so don't scare them (even though Bustopher and Gus don't have to worry about it, it's because she's Exotica, she's young and restless, just like the show). So she struts into the junkyard with her stilettos and leather pants and dark makeup that make her look so skinny, so sexy, so mysterious, and so positively E X O T I C, just like her name.

And people wonder why she leaves the j u n k y a r d so much, the only trace of her footprints in the gravel and the faint scent of sweet alcohol. She leaves 'cos she doesn't belong, she's not truly a Jellicle, they just took her in because she was hurt&broken, and she knew that Jennyanydots and Jellylorum had a lot on their plates and that she was just a hindrance. They had kittens who mattered to attend to—they didn't need a street rat to take care of.

So she became beautiful & something someone could w a n t and the new kittens could aim to be. But then as she strolls out of the junkyard (and seconds later the heel of her shoe breaks), blowing kisses at young toms and making them melt into to puddles of shivering kitten, she remembers that she doesn't belong and her escapades are a relief to the Jellicles because they don't have to worry about another cat anymore, and she remembers that she's just Exotica, a drifter.

And it's best she finds a new place to drift to.

This was really weird.

I needed to be inspired.

And as you know there are very human elements to this, just imagine that humans don't exist or something.

…I am inspired.