bolded words are thoughts. italics are journal entries. enjoy!!
Chapter 1 Anger
My phone buzzed in my front pocket. I pulled it out, immediately knowing it was my sister.
"Alice, tell me exactly how many times I've - "
"You've told me, 'don't pry into Bella's life'. I know. But this is an emergency, Edward. This could be life or death."
"Life or death? Alice, I think you're being a bit meledramatic."
"Edward, when are you going to shut up and listen to me? The is important!. I saw Bella unconcious in an alley somewhere in La Push. It was really blurry but it was her Edward. I just know it!"
"Why would she be in an alley?" I asked my Alice. Or in La Push for that matter? I wondered silently.
"I don't know but you need to get your butt out of Alaska and to Forks. Now, Edward. This happens tommorrow. I'm on my way there now."
I hung up the phone and immediately ran out to my car. I didn't bother saying goodbye to Tanya and the rest of the clan. I then began the torturously long drive to Forks, all the while hoping that Alice was wrong. That Bella was safe. But deep down I had the feeling that Alice wasn't wrong and I couldn't shake it off. I then began hoping the I wasn't too late.
Alice called me when I entered the outskirts of Forks, informing me that I only had ten minutes until I fould find Bella. I stepped down harder on the gas and sped off toward La Push.
I invaded the minds of everyone I saw. One young girl had seen Bella driving her truck. She looked upset with her jaw set and brow furrowed. I couldn't place it but she had seemed different.
Where was my Bella going and what had upset her? I had no idea but I knew I only had four minutes before I would find her. I decided to roll down my window and try to catch her scent. I remembered following her like this what seemed like long ago.
It felt like ages, but I finally picked up the flowery fragrance that was undeniably Bella. I parked my car, thinking it would be better to follow the smell on foot and took off down a street lined with small houses.
I made a left down a narrow alley way. There were two dumpsters lined up against the brick walls of buildings and there were shards of glass everywhere.
That was when I saw her. Bella was lying on the ground, half on her back, halfway on her side. Her knees were bent and her legs were out at a crazy angel. One arm was draped over her stomach and the other lay limply beside her. It seemed that she had fallen or collapsed. She had never looked more breakable.
I picked her up in my arms and carried her off to my car. I decided to take her home and make sure she was safe.
When I finally reached her house, it was empty. Charlie's cruiser was gone.
I went into Bella's room using her window like I had countless times in the past. I wasn't alone; Alice was sitting on the bed flipping through a small book.
Edward you have to read this. She looked up at me for a moment, but then continued reading.
"I can see it is quite a page turner, but how is something off the New York Times' Best Seller List going to help us?" Alice shot me a dirty look.
"I've seen Bella write in this every night."
"Alice," I growled at her.
"I know, I know. I'm breaking the rules. But this is her journal. Maybe it can help us find out what's happened to her."
I looked down at Bella in my arms. I walked over to her bed and layed her down beside Alice who helped me pull off her shoes.
She seems so different.
I sighed. "I know."
"No, Edward." Look at her. Alice looked so sad as she thought this. I scanned her face. She looked so tired. Her skin was sallower than I had ever seen it and she had dark circles under her eyes. She looked like . . . me.
Her hair wasn't the same either. It was darker, black almost, and it had streaks of red all throughout it. Why had Bella dyed her beautiful hair?
"What is she wearing?!" Alice nearly shreiked. "Although I have to say, it is an improvement." Somewhat.
Bella wore a black tank top with a skin tight, grey hoodie that zipped up the front and dark blue skinny jeans. I wondered how Charlie had reacted to this.
I sat down next to Bella and stroked her arm. Alice placed her open journal in my lap. "Read it," She said. I sighed and flipped it over.
Dear Journal,
Wow that sounds really dumb.
Anyway, Charlie threatened to take me to see a theripist, so now I'm writing in this. I threw a tantrum and I felt like an absolute three-year-old but I don't care. There was no way I was going to see some absolute stranger and talk about my feelings on one of those dumb couches. I already know how I feel and why I feel this way. I don't need someone else prying into my life and telling me my feelings.
Where had all this anger come from? Bella had a temper but I had never known her to be an angry person.
I've never done this before, so I guess I'll just write about what I did today.
I went down to La Push to go see Jacob. It was the first time I had seen him since prom . . . Anyway, he seemed really happy to see me. I'll admit, I was happy to see him too. I brought him the bikes I got, thinking maybe he could fix them up and maybe even teach me how to ride. We sat in his little garage all day and we talked while I watched him work on his car (he needs parts for the bikes) but it was nice. It was the first time I felt normal and human in a long time. Jake makes me happy, maybe as happy as I was before . . . But I can't think about that, about him. He left me and he was never coming back. Ever. And neither were the rest of his family. I think about them a lot. Of what used to be, of what could have been. But I need to stop.
Now I knew that I was the reason for all the anger. But I never intended to hurt her. I wanted her to live her life to the fullest amd the only way she could do that was without me.
It hurt a little to know that she was spending her time with another boy, especially Jacob Black. To know that he made her happy. But isn't that what I wanted? For her to move on, and be safe, and happy, and alive? So what if I was just a memory? So what if I was just him?
well, that's chapter one. lemme know what you guys think?
and remember, reviews=love!!!
xox 3 kaylinxoxkisses 3 xox