A/N: This isn't really a songfic… Just inspired by a song – "Fancy" by Destiny's Child. Anyway, this is not for Keiko fans – major bashing! I got reprimanded (not really flamed) for this one on AnimeSpiral, but I kinda hope that won't happen here. Sorry, I just don't like Keiko… O.o;; Anyway, please read and review!

Disclaimer: I no own YYH. Leave me alone! TT I am a poor fanfic author with no job!

1. I Don't Fancy You Too Much

Hovering above Yusuke's city this morning – just for something to do; business was slow in Spirit World – I watched his and Keiko's date. They were going out for ice cream.

Personally, I didn't understand what Yusuke sees in that girl. If you ask me, Keiko isn't pretty at all, she isn't funny, and she isn't very nice. She gives poor Yusuke such a hard time about everything, always badgering him with these silly little questions and whatnot. She wasn't supposed to know about him being a Spirit Detective, but with her being as nosy as she was, she found out that something was going on, so we had to tell her. I suppose it would've been inevitable anyway, what with Yusuke's long absences from home, but still! Keiko has a knack for ruining some things…

Today she was wearing this ugly little yellow sweater underneath a blue jumper. As if she couldn't get any nerdier. I swear, I sometimes wonder where the poor girl gets her fashion sense. I know for a fact that she buys her own clothes, and I know that her mother dresses better than she does. Even Hiei dresses better than she does, and all he ever wears is boring old black. I saw Yusuke poke her butt. Shame on him. Of course, I don't think the kid knows any better. He hasn't seen much of the female population of the world since he never goes to school and most of the demons he fights are male. There are much better fish out there in the sea than Keiko.

I frowned as I watched the two order their ice cream. There goes Keiko, trying to look smart by ordering a plain, low-fat vanilla. I shook my head. If she's going to order low-fat food, she should at least be consistent in her diet. I've seen the way she pigs out at home when she knows Yusuke's not around. I almost feel sorry for the ice cream bucket; it's attacked so viciously.

She's just trying to make herself look good. I'd know that tactic any day. I've seen so much of it in my lifetime. I've carried young girls up into Spirit World who've done the exact same method of catching a guy's attention. It even went so far as to spur them to commit suicide.

Was Keiko that type? As evil as it was of me to think so, I almost hoped for it.

Then I could get a chance with Yusuke.

It would be easier, though, if the boy just dumped her and got over it.

Yusuke's being manipulated by that girl. If Keiko is going to get any credit at all, she's going to get it for being manipulative. She knows how to work her man, send him on a guilt trip, and apparently she knows how to execute proper fake charm to attract him.

I guess she's on the honor roll for a reason.

Still, she doesn't come up with all her tricks by herself. She's ungrateful. She's forgetting who's helped her along the way. I've tried to be nice to her, I've tried to help her out when she was having problems with Yusuke. I protected her during the case of the Four Saint Beasts when the Makai insects invaded the city and possessed the teachers. And she has the nerve to ask me if she can borrow one of my miniskirts.

She looks terrible in a miniskirt. They don't complement her short legs at all.

I never wore that skirt again when she finally remembered to give it back two months later.

I think that she thinks she's in this big competition for Yusuke. Like she's gotta be the best lover he's ever had so he won't even think about cheating on her. She has to convince him that she's good and that she's worthwhile. If two are truly destined for each other, one doesn't need to try so desperately as she does to buy the affection of her partner. She doesn't have to worry that her partner doesn't love her anymore.

Besides, nobody else is competing for that boy. Except for one girl… and she's floating up above them on a wooden oar, watching the ungrateful one snag her man from right under her nose.

When Yusuke and I first met, I knew we had hit it off. If only for a few days or minutes, but I felt something between us. Then I met Keiko, and that all went away. Granted, she didn't know I existed then, but she's a smart girl. I think she picked up on the fact that someone wanted her man…

I've often complained of Yusuke's stupidity. Now I wish that Keiko had the stupidity. If she weren't so darn smart, I could easily take Yusuke away from her. If she weren't so manipulative and clingy she wouldn't have him. And she knows that. She's not attractive and she's not compassionate at all. Always nagging, "Yusuke! Yusuke! Yusuke!" Can't the girl do anything for herself? And when Yusuke's not around, she asks me to do everything and anything.

"Botan, should I call Yusuke? Do you think he's home?"

"Botan, do these pants make my butt look big?"

I'm sorry, Keiko, honey, but no pants will ever make your butt look pleasing. Yusuke's not blind. I see him hesitate when he does those stupid little perverted things to you. He's trying to lead you along too. Your relationship is hopeless. The both of you are faking.

Romance and relationships are real and true. The two must be honest and loving and fair with each other. Yusuke, I believe – I know - is capable of that. Keiko… I often find myself questioning her qualities…

Not even other girls like her. Keiko's two friends at school often talk about her behind her back. Perhaps that's adding to Keiko's frantic need to be around Yusuke…? Since her friends don't seem to enjoy her company, surely Yusuke does, right?

As an apparition, I can sense the emotions of people. I can tell you for a fact that Yusuke's aura was much happier when he was fighting Toguro than when he was kissing Keiko in the locker room after school yesterday.

Yusuke's too good for Keiko. He needs to learn, like Keiko, some self-respect. He can do so much better. I know he can. Keiko is not the only one for him, as she tells him. He needs to trust his intuition and feelings not just with fighting demons, but with the real world, too.

He can do better.

Keiko is not better.

Doesn't he realize that the better one has always been right under his nose, waiting for him? Doesn't he realize that I love him?

Yusuke…