Say Goodbye to Yesterday
I sat on his bed, staring at old photos of him. I came across one of him and I at the garage, celebrating his 21st birthday. He was leaning against his car, holding a Corona in his right hand and he had his left wrapped around my waist. I was looking up at him, laughing. He always referred to us as, "…the three things in life he couldn't live without."
I looked through some more as the tears spilled out my eyes, onto my cheeks, as the memories came flooding back. I ran past the photo of him when he was 18. He had just gotten a new mustang and was sitting on top of it, trying to look cool with his shirt off and around his neck.
I flipped to the next one and I cracked up. Mia had taken the photo while we were in the act of poppin' James Madison's tires! We had on black cargos, with black long-sleeved shirts, and to top it off, ski mask!
I laughed thinking back on it. What we did was so silly and stupid, but it felt good at the time. I had a crush on this guy named, James Madison and, supposedly, he liked me too. But when homecoming rolled around he had asked this girl Mindy to go with him instead of me!
Well, I just would not stand for that, so I called up my boy and he was there to help me out. If it's any constellation, it was his idea. He said, "The best way to hurt a guy, is to hurt his car!" so that's what we did. We busted the windows and popped his tires.
I turned the page and smiled at the next one. I was on the bottom step of the stairs…wearing a dress! It was red and black, knee length. I wore my hair curly and down. He was standing to the side wearing a black tux with a black silk shirt. He was blushing and smiling this goofy smile. He had asked me to prom a few weeks after the whole car debacle.
I flipped through a couple more till I looked at the clock, 10:12. I really need to start going. As I was closing the photo album a piece of paper fell out. I picked it up and opened it. It was a little poem he wrote me a year after Tony Toretto died. It was about living your life and the type of people you'll meet. I re-read it aloud:
"In your life you're going to meet people. Some you'll never think about again; some, you'll ask what ever happen to them? Others, you'll wonder if they ever think about you. And then there's some, that you'll have a forbidden love for, and wish you could never think about them again…but you do."
For a while I had wondered why he wrote that to me. But I shrugged it off and thought maybe that was his way of venting whatever was troubling him. As I stood up, I slipped the paper back into the album.
I was putting it away in a big chest he had in front of his bed. It contained memories of him and I. Everything from photos to pieces of clothing that reminded us of an event. I was locking the chest when I heard a knock at the door.
I placed the key in a black box and put it on his dresser. "Come in," I spoke in a soft voice. The door opened slowly and Mia poked her head inside. Her eyes were rimmed red from crying so much. She sniffed and sighed. "We're leaving. It's time." I glanced around the room, taking in everything for the last time and nodded. "Okay, I'll be down in a minute."
She left the room a check myself in the mirror one last time, making sure I looked perfect. After I was satisfied, I grabbed my jacket and headed downstairs. As I came to the bottom step, I looked at the remaining team…mi fimilia.
They were all hurting inside and so was I, but I had to be strong for them. I needed to be the backbone, right now. I'd be the first to tell you I have some of the strongest people in my family, but at times like these they need someone to lean on; A shoulder to cry on for once, and at that very moment when I looked deep into their eyes, I realized. Even the strongest person, has their weakest moments.
We arrived at the funeral; I stepped out of the limo with Mia. There were people everywhere. Blood-relatives, friends, and even foes; Cause at this moment rivals didn't matter, we all needed each other in our own way.
About an hour later the priest finished his last words. And Jewell, a cousin of Leon's, stood up and started singing Boys II Men's, 'Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday'
"How do I say goodbye to what we had?
All the good times that made us laugh,
Outweigh the bad.
I thought we'd get to see forever,
But forever's gone away.
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
I don't know where this road,
Is going to lead.
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through.
If we get to see tomorrow,
I hope it's worth all the wait.
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Everyone wept as Jessica sang so beautifully. I was shedding tears, but the last verse gave me a feeling that I might just be able to pull through without him…
And I'll take with me the memories,
To be my sunshine after the rain!
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday."
After she finished everyone walked pass the grave and placed flowers down saying something to him and leaving. I was the last person to leave. I didn't-couldn't say anything as I dropped a white rose on his casket.
Leon came up behind me and placed his hand on my back. "Letty, you ready?" I glanced at him then back to the grave. Was I ready? I started thinking and the last verse of the song came to mind…yah, I can move on. I have so many good memories with him to help me.
I have to keep living. Yes, I'm going to miss him, and I have no doubt, there's going to be times where I ache for him. I'll always love him, and never forget him. It's what Dom would've wanted. When the revelation hit me and I realized that I'm gonna be just fine. I took a deep breath, glancing back at the coffin and exhaling slowly. I said, "Yeah Leon. I think I'm ready."
Leon smiled, knowing and understanding the double meaning in that one statement. I was ready to let go and to keep living. As Leon walked ahead of me I looked up at the sunny sky, squinting my left eye.
"You were my first, and I'll always love you…take care of us, okay?" I was about to start walking until I remembered something, turning towards the grave. I whispered, "Say hi to your dad for me. I love you. Rest in peace Dom." I smiled and ran to catch up with the rest of my family and friends.
FINI!