The Antelope Of Injustice
Or, Look! An Antelope!
"Look! An antelope!" yelled the little boy, as he sat on his grandfather's lap by the warm fire in the fireplace, and stared seemingly off into space. His grandfather looked around for a little bit and then, realizing the stupidity of what he was doing, shook his head and said,
"Silly boy, we are indoors in this cozy log cabin that your great great great great great great great great etc. first cousin's aunt's best friend's second wife's lawyer's niece's third husband made so long ago! Our family has lived in this house for generations, and I'm telling you right now, no antelope can get inside." The boy smiled and shook his finger at his grandfather, and pointed at the ceiling. His grandfather looked up, and, to his surprise, there was an antelope hanging on the ceiling from its hooves! The boy's grandfather knew at once, this was the Antelope of Injustice that had been put on trial in many legends and myths for telling the inhabitants of Mars some specific information (which was now somehow forgotten) and somehow, though no one knew how, had wiped them out single-handedly.
His grandfather started in surprise, then shot up from his cozy chair by the fire, incidentally, knocking the boy from his lap where he fell to the floor, fast asleep, and then ran to the back room (the only other room) to get his great great great great great great great etc. first cousin's aunt's best friend's second wife's lawyer's niece's third husband's old handgun. He intended to shoot the intruding antelope that was hanging from the ceiling! That's not very nice! However, when he got back to the room with the antelope, it just looked at him, and cocked its head. It didn't seem to be the least bit frightened by the gun. Then, the antelope started walking across the ceiling, like it was nothing. The grandfather . . . his name is Bob, by the way, so we'll just call him that from now on, okay?
Okay, so Bob was frozen in amazement and stupidity (or just surprise) and couldn't move. The antelope just walked across the ceiling to the door (which was just an open rectangular hole in the wall, as the cabin was made before they had invented doors), but Bob stopped him, by yelling,
"STOP!" He had finally found his voice. The antelope stopped, and calmly turned its head towards the old man. It didn't seem the least bit surprised. Bob lowered his gun, and asked the antelope curiously,
"Sir Antelope, who are and how is it that you walk on the ceiling upside- down like it is nothing?" The antelope looked faintly surprised for a moment, and then a ghost of a smile appeared on its lips. Well, if you could call them lips, and if you could call it a smile. It was more like a grimace, but the old man didn't even flinch. The little boy lay forgotten on the floor.
The antelope pondered. This was certainty a new turn of events. Now, with the wheels in it's head turning, if slowly, it remembered it's trial for destroying the inhabitants of Mars those long years ago, and debated weather or not it should tell the man. And it remembered its own trial many years before in depth, where the prosecution attorney included the infamous lawyer, the only man in front of him and to the down's great great great great great great great etc. first cousin's aunt's best friend's second wife's lawyer's niece's third husband. Of course, now he was dead, but would this not be the best way to pay him back? But if the antelope was tried like that and found guilty again. . .
~Earth Year 4000 BC, Justice Trial of the Mars Population, Prosecution: Bob, Defense: Joe, Accused: Antelope of Injustice~
Before I continue, let it be noted that for the benefit of the story, the people in this exotic family live way to long for their own good.
Anyway, at one end of the Justice Courtroom there sat a balding man with a bright orange and purple tuxedo. His name tag stated clearly and simply, so all could read it (or at least try), Joe, in big bold letters. That was for anyone who could actually read, which was precious few in this, the Courtroom on Justice, which had often been called the Courtroom of Stupidity' instead, as, really, it was.
On the other side of the court room, in a hula skirt and a t-shirt from Nameless Town, Mars, sat the Prosecution attorney. On the attorney's shirt there was a name tag that said, simply, Bob, the same way Joe's did. They looked slightly smarter, though the title of who was better dressed was debatable. In fact, they were both there to debate over something, though the clothing that one chose to wear was not the subject at hand. The subject at hand was, one, weather or not the Antelope of Injustice had told the inhabitants of Mars the fatal information that had brought them to their demise (which was, really rather obvious), and, two, weather or not he had a good cause for doing it.
Then, the trial began. The aforementioned antelope preferred to stand, rather than sit, not because it felt it would give him more power or influence, but simply because the antelope could not sit in a chair made for Earth-men/woman with four legs. Unfortunately, it was also so big that he had to stand on the ceiling, and therefore was not heard much. Many wondered at how it did this, but dared not ask.
It was as obvious as to who was going to win at the beginning as it was as to who was better dressed. However, as the trial continued, it became increasingly more apparent that the idea of guiltiness on the part of the antelope was manifesting itself in more and more of the dim-witted audience's minds. My sixteen seconds into the trial, it had become clear that the antelope was on the losing side, for the old man's great great. . . oh, you know what I mean. Anyway, the prosecution had a better lawyer than the defense. As expected, the prosecution won, and the antelope was about to hear its sentence.
The judge thought for a long moment, and then said that the antelope was not to walk on ceilings until 2002 AD, January first. The antelope was devastated, for it knew what the judge meant. It meant that the antelope would have to walk upside down!
~2002 AD, January first, the old old old old Former Courtroom that is now being used as a Cottage~
The antelope knew just what to do. Then, it talked. Its voice was soothing and kind of like a flea's. Well, it would have been like a flea, had fleas been able to talk, only a great deal louder, and with more usage of capitals. It said simply,
"My dear . . . umm. . . Old Man, you are gravely Mistaken. I am not Upside- down, nothing that walks like This is. It is You and Your whole backward Race that is Upside-down. You think of the Ground as the Sky, and the Sky as the Ground. The Sky is not Blue, the Ground is. I must leave now. Farewell!" and with that the antelope was gone, leaving not a trace that it had ever been there. The old man puzzled over this for a bit, and then remembered something that his great great great great great great great etc. first cousin's aunt's best friend's second wife's lawyer's niece's third husband (who was, incidentally, an antelope) had said the exact same thing (not that he was alive when he said it, but he still remembered).
Once he realized this, he also understood that the antelope was right. Then, all that was on the sky fell to the ground, in a tangled heap, and the sky and ground became right again, and everyone knew it.
Unfortunately, now the whole human race was wiped out because of the fall, and no one really knew it because they were all dead. That is how dangerous knowledge can be, because if they had stayed ignorant of it, then gravity would not have had a hold on them and it might have never happened. However, oddly enough, because the great antelope had told them that and un-ignorantitized them, he had adverted a great many dangers such as global warming and pollution and that sort of stuff. And, after all, it was only one race out of millions wiped out, and they were not even close to the smartest one. Antelopes, monkeys (because, despite popular belief, monkeys evolved in a more intelligent form from humans and not the other way around), elephants, cats (especially cats) and many others were a lot smarter and more advanced, they just chose to keep it hidden from the imminently stupid human race.
If the human race had been able to think, they would of thought it all INJUSTICE!
THE END