The last clash of Anakin's new red blade, the one he'd constructed under Palpatine, with his own blue one kept re-playing in Obi-Wan's mind as his boots silently padded down the marble hall to Padme's quarters. The Senate had changed, and yet this ancient structure that housed them had not. He gently tapped on her door and pushed it open.
A small frame rushed him with equally small arms into a tight embrace followed by a deep kiss. But he could not let himself indulge and pulled away.
"I come with news you don't want to hear, but you must," he felt his lips quiver and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep from losing control over his emotions.
"He knows, doesn't he?" Padme let him go and stumbled back, finding support against her bedpost. Obi-Wan gave a small nod.
"He attacked me because of it, the Dark Side has finally consumed the last of him. He- he lost the battle," he choked down the tears that tore at his poise.
"Is he-?" pain and fear filled Padme's eyes. How much she had changed since that first time he had crossed paths with her on Naboo. Yet for all the years he had known her, even now he could not tell for whom that pain and fear was felt.
***
I know enough now
To judge you somehow
A first impression
That always leaves me second-guessing
***
"I don't know. I can no longer feel the real him. When I search for him in the Force, all I find is darkness," that darkness was a definite sign that Anakin's life was over, but did it mean that he was dead? Obi-Wan could not say.
"I have to tell you something, too," she was not looking at him anymore, "I-I am carrying his children," her voice broke and she hid her face in her hands. Obi-Wan wanted to be shocked, but somehow, he had already known. As soon as he tried, he found two new little beacons of light growing in the Force.
"Are you sure they are his?" his voice betrayed his envy. Her eyes came up in a flash of hurt.
"You know they are," her voice sounded like it belonged to someone else, someone older, stricken with pain and torment. Yet her face was calm, the tears that had threatened her composure before were gone, "I can't believe that's what you're worried about. You and I have never- forget it. I don't have to defend myself against your petty jealous thoughts. Of course they're his…of course they are," she repeated and kicked the bed platform, "I can't believe you."
***
I'm not that kind of guy
Screw hello, you had me at goodbye
***
"We have to make a plan, I have a strong feeling he will come after you, if he's alive," Obi-Wan was anxious to change the subject. The fact that Anakin had a piece of Padme that he did not drove him mad, but he would not give in as his apprentice had.
"There is no more 'we,' Obi-Wan. It's obvious that this has to end. You have to leave," all emotion had left her voice completely. Now, she was only stating fact, as a politician was trained to do. Obi-Wan stared at her in silence. What was she doing? Did she think she could go through this alone? He didn't know what to think.
***
So you think you have the right to tell me what to do?
I didn't see you crying after you said that we were through
I don't wanna go but after all it's what she said
Why do you keep playing these games with my head?
***
"And your children?" despite her command, he made no motion to leave.
"They are none of your concern," she bit out. Obi-Wan shook his head with solemn determination.
"I will not fail them as I have failed you," he stated, each word of the confession stabbing through his heart, "Whatever you feel for me, I still love you," he added.
"The children must be hidden," she said after a long while, "they are not safe with me."
"I know where to put them. I'll make arrangements. Contact me when the time comes," he stood and waited.
"Why are you doing this?" the emotion she'd stuffed down before was back in full force, her small frame rattled with sobs. He moved to comfort her, but she pushed his arms away. "Turn around, Obi-Wan. Walk away, make it easier, please," she pleaded, "no one's forcing you to stay. Just make it easier."
How could she dismiss him like this? Their love had been…indescribably pure, beautfiul. But now she was treating him like little more than an agitation. He had devoted so much of his life to her, and she was taking it all away from him. He stepped forward suddenly and made her look at him.
"You stole my past," he accused in anguish, "I want it back."
Silence.
"Tell me you don't love me," he demanded. Padme fixed her jaw and wrenched her arm from his grasp.
"Don't let the door hit your ass," she growled harshly, once again fighting for control. Obi-Wan put his back to her at last and slowly walked away. He heard Padme whimper softly, but he was no longer capable of feeling pity for her.
"I hope it makes you cry," he hissed bitterly as he reached for the door.
"Obi-Wan," he heard her whisper mournfully after him, "you had me at 'hello.'"
Screw hello, Padme, he thought as the door closed behind him, you had me at goodbye.
***9 months later***
It's summertime and the wind is blowing outside
And I can't feel my arms around you
At night you're calling
Your tears are falling
And I haven't a clue what to do
***
Obi-Wan awoke drenched in sweat with a scream of pain running through him from the Force.
"Padme!" he cried into the darkness, already out of bed, dressed and rushing out of his room before his mind had time to process where he was going. Senate Chambers hospital? Yes, he could feel her there…
The screams were no longer in his mind, they echoed through the hall he was sprinting down. It was a chilled summer's eve, the air swept away his nervous sweat as he ran. Another scream.
Sudden fear struck him before he could fight it down as his sense of Padme started to drift into nothingness.
"No," he breathed as he burst through the door of the delivering room, a startled med droid at his heels. Sabe's eyes met his, they told him what no one was brave enough to say. Obi-Wan shut his eyes to hide that hot tears that began to swell there, forcing down his emotions as a Jedi was trained to do. There was a task at hand.
"Inform no one of any of the events this evening. Make sure these droids have thorough memory wipes," he told Sabe, the only human there, "I'll take the children."
"Luke and Leia," she murmured, "she wanted to call them Luke and Leia."
"I respect her wish," Obi-Wan swallowed hard as he approached the bed where Padme's body lay. He carefully lifted the fingers of her thin, limp hand to his lips and held them there as he stifled a sob. He straightened and let her hand fall as he turned his attention back to Sabe.
"Let me come with you," although her eyes pleaded, her voice told him it was not a request, "My life is over now that she's gone. The girl needs a mother…one that knew her real one."
"I'm sure she would have let you go," he conceded softly, lifting the boy baby, Luke, and nearing the door, "we must not waste time," he urged.
"I'll meet you in the hangar after I tell Rabe about the droids."
"Don't tell anyone where you're going, don't even say goodbye," he took Leia from her into his other arm. Sabe's nod was barely perceivable.
"I know," she said and was gone.
Obi-Wan pressed the tiny bundles close to him as he jogged to the hangar. Anakin was lost to him. Padme was gone now. Once these children were safe, he concluded, he had nothing else to live for. Looking back, he realized that he had fallen in love with Padme for the simple reason that he could not have her. Now he never would, and he loved her even more for it.
"You had me at goodbye," he said to himself as entered his ship.
A small frame rushed him with equally small arms into a tight embrace followed by a deep kiss. But he could not let himself indulge and pulled away.
"I come with news you don't want to hear, but you must," he felt his lips quiver and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep from losing control over his emotions.
"He knows, doesn't he?" Padme let him go and stumbled back, finding support against her bedpost. Obi-Wan gave a small nod.
"He attacked me because of it, the Dark Side has finally consumed the last of him. He- he lost the battle," he choked down the tears that tore at his poise.
"Is he-?" pain and fear filled Padme's eyes. How much she had changed since that first time he had crossed paths with her on Naboo. Yet for all the years he had known her, even now he could not tell for whom that pain and fear was felt.
***
I know enough now
To judge you somehow
A first impression
That always leaves me second-guessing
***
"I don't know. I can no longer feel the real him. When I search for him in the Force, all I find is darkness," that darkness was a definite sign that Anakin's life was over, but did it mean that he was dead? Obi-Wan could not say.
"I have to tell you something, too," she was not looking at him anymore, "I-I am carrying his children," her voice broke and she hid her face in her hands. Obi-Wan wanted to be shocked, but somehow, he had already known. As soon as he tried, he found two new little beacons of light growing in the Force.
"Are you sure they are his?" his voice betrayed his envy. Her eyes came up in a flash of hurt.
"You know they are," her voice sounded like it belonged to someone else, someone older, stricken with pain and torment. Yet her face was calm, the tears that had threatened her composure before were gone, "I can't believe that's what you're worried about. You and I have never- forget it. I don't have to defend myself against your petty jealous thoughts. Of course they're his…of course they are," she repeated and kicked the bed platform, "I can't believe you."
***
I'm not that kind of guy
Screw hello, you had me at goodbye
***
"We have to make a plan, I have a strong feeling he will come after you, if he's alive," Obi-Wan was anxious to change the subject. The fact that Anakin had a piece of Padme that he did not drove him mad, but he would not give in as his apprentice had.
"There is no more 'we,' Obi-Wan. It's obvious that this has to end. You have to leave," all emotion had left her voice completely. Now, she was only stating fact, as a politician was trained to do. Obi-Wan stared at her in silence. What was she doing? Did she think she could go through this alone? He didn't know what to think.
***
So you think you have the right to tell me what to do?
I didn't see you crying after you said that we were through
I don't wanna go but after all it's what she said
Why do you keep playing these games with my head?
***
"And your children?" despite her command, he made no motion to leave.
"They are none of your concern," she bit out. Obi-Wan shook his head with solemn determination.
"I will not fail them as I have failed you," he stated, each word of the confession stabbing through his heart, "Whatever you feel for me, I still love you," he added.
"The children must be hidden," she said after a long while, "they are not safe with me."
"I know where to put them. I'll make arrangements. Contact me when the time comes," he stood and waited.
"Why are you doing this?" the emotion she'd stuffed down before was back in full force, her small frame rattled with sobs. He moved to comfort her, but she pushed his arms away. "Turn around, Obi-Wan. Walk away, make it easier, please," she pleaded, "no one's forcing you to stay. Just make it easier."
How could she dismiss him like this? Their love had been…indescribably pure, beautfiul. But now she was treating him like little more than an agitation. He had devoted so much of his life to her, and she was taking it all away from him. He stepped forward suddenly and made her look at him.
"You stole my past," he accused in anguish, "I want it back."
Silence.
"Tell me you don't love me," he demanded. Padme fixed her jaw and wrenched her arm from his grasp.
"Don't let the door hit your ass," she growled harshly, once again fighting for control. Obi-Wan put his back to her at last and slowly walked away. He heard Padme whimper softly, but he was no longer capable of feeling pity for her.
"I hope it makes you cry," he hissed bitterly as he reached for the door.
"Obi-Wan," he heard her whisper mournfully after him, "you had me at 'hello.'"
Screw hello, Padme, he thought as the door closed behind him, you had me at goodbye.
***9 months later***
It's summertime and the wind is blowing outside
And I can't feel my arms around you
At night you're calling
Your tears are falling
And I haven't a clue what to do
***
Obi-Wan awoke drenched in sweat with a scream of pain running through him from the Force.
"Padme!" he cried into the darkness, already out of bed, dressed and rushing out of his room before his mind had time to process where he was going. Senate Chambers hospital? Yes, he could feel her there…
The screams were no longer in his mind, they echoed through the hall he was sprinting down. It was a chilled summer's eve, the air swept away his nervous sweat as he ran. Another scream.
Sudden fear struck him before he could fight it down as his sense of Padme started to drift into nothingness.
"No," he breathed as he burst through the door of the delivering room, a startled med droid at his heels. Sabe's eyes met his, they told him what no one was brave enough to say. Obi-Wan shut his eyes to hide that hot tears that began to swell there, forcing down his emotions as a Jedi was trained to do. There was a task at hand.
"Inform no one of any of the events this evening. Make sure these droids have thorough memory wipes," he told Sabe, the only human there, "I'll take the children."
"Luke and Leia," she murmured, "she wanted to call them Luke and Leia."
"I respect her wish," Obi-Wan swallowed hard as he approached the bed where Padme's body lay. He carefully lifted the fingers of her thin, limp hand to his lips and held them there as he stifled a sob. He straightened and let her hand fall as he turned his attention back to Sabe.
"Let me come with you," although her eyes pleaded, her voice told him it was not a request, "My life is over now that she's gone. The girl needs a mother…one that knew her real one."
"I'm sure she would have let you go," he conceded softly, lifting the boy baby, Luke, and nearing the door, "we must not waste time," he urged.
"I'll meet you in the hangar after I tell Rabe about the droids."
"Don't tell anyone where you're going, don't even say goodbye," he took Leia from her into his other arm. Sabe's nod was barely perceivable.
"I know," she said and was gone.
Obi-Wan pressed the tiny bundles close to him as he jogged to the hangar. Anakin was lost to him. Padme was gone now. Once these children were safe, he concluded, he had nothing else to live for. Looking back, he realized that he had fallen in love with Padme for the simple reason that he could not have her. Now he never would, and he loved her even more for it.
"You had me at goodbye," he said to himself as entered his ship.