Before you start the story, you must know: You will be extremely confused if you do not read this author note. SO, please take the time to pick this apart before reading the fic. There are many significant changes I am making to the Naruto world to make this story work and they go as follows: This is a non-massacre story. Itachi didn't off everybody, and Sasuke doesn't off Itachi,Shisui is alive, everyone is kicking. Neji Hyuuga is as old as Itachi is. Sakura was not on team seven, as a matter of fact, she didn't even live in Konoha. She's recently moved, she has a family and a really important role and power in this story. Like a magical uterus. Play along. Naruto and Sasuke were on a two man team appointed by the Hokage of the time. Kakashi was still their sensei. The Hyuuga's and Uchiha are feuding. The Clans are huge, including the ones that are traditionally small in the mythology, that of the Inuzuka and Akamchi and such. Thanks for playing along.

"Just so you're aware, this is an extremely invasive and archaic tradition"

The Hokage was arching a blonde brow at the clan members dotted around the table, doing this once a month was going to make her go grey. The customary meetings with the clan that happened every month on the fifteenth was something she had to drink to. Konoha took its clans seriously, and it drove her nuts.

"It's one I'll be reevaluating with the counsel later on in the year" She left out the "The part of the counsel that you people are not in."

She tapped her nails on the stack of manila folders in front of her, and ushered Shizune over so she could pass them out. The clan heads took them, and tucked them in. The tradition of giving away all the information of all the women in Konoha to these misogynists was giving her the goosebumps, but what the clans want, the clans got. If the clans are going to breed of their sons like dogs, then who was she to try and stop them.

"All I ask is that you give these families respect. Do not barge into their homes and demand their daughters marry your sons without some sort of courting process"

There were things in life the Great Slug Sage, didn't know and understand, like why the Clans continued to pretend it was the stone age, why they sent their Sons out on 'courting missions' to produce the most powerful heir, but she had to hand it to them, so far their little missions were turning out to be a success, she'd had more prodigy's come from the Hyuuga and the Uchiha than she really cared to admit, they really knew how to pick them. The only person who blew Itachi out of the water was Kakashi, and that's saying something. Fugaku and Mikoto were even a match made in the counsel room at the Uchiha manor. And they did well, producing two strong boys, just like they wanted.

Tsunade idly wondered if they knew that men picked the sex of babies.

The Hyuuga weren't far behind, Neji was a prodigy in his own right, for not having gone through traditional Ninja Academy they couldn't accurately see where his progress was as he developed, he had the strongest Byakugan ever seen in the clan, she had to wonder if he was created in a bottle. Hisashi Hyuuga was a vicious man, almost as vicious as Fugaku Uchiha, who was an absolute snake in the grass. And giant pain her ass. He was greedy, demanding, and rude, he didn't care whose back he had to step on to remain the strongest clan in all of Konoha, and if that included stepping on the Hokage's, then so be it. He had an army of black haired inbred freaks ready to strike at any moment, taking over the whole west side of the village.

Tsunade wondered if they knew she thought things like that about them. They probably shouldn't.

The war that was raging between the Hyuuga and the Uchiha was tearing Konoha academy's apart. The children were literally – there was not figurative speech anywhere in this – beating the crap out of each other.

The only clan that Tsunade could really appreciate were the Nara's, now those were some decent people. Hard working, mix breeding, open minded, lazy ass people. Her kind of people. The Yamanaka's were a bunch of blonde bimbo's … Inoichi was never able to produce that boy, just one loud girl. The Nara's tossed their manila folder in the trash, they didn't do the whole tradition things. Usually the Inuzuka's looked, but didn't touch and the Akimichi could care less. Traditionally, it was usually a showdown between the Hyuuga's and the Uchiha.

And then there were the Haruno's …

Which weren't really a clan, she reasoned. Just a family, a large, sweet family. Having moved to Konoha five years prior, they were the sweetest people she'd met to date. Nalla, the mother of the family, had taken the breath from the Hokage with her kindness, working in the Hokage office library as the official bookkeeper and librarian. She was the mother of six sons, and one daughter, as was usual for her family.

Tsunade felt like she was betraying the women by basically handing her daughter over on a platter.

The Haruno's moved to Konoha for peace and a place to begin a gain after losing their patriarch, now they would be pursued. The Haruno women had a unique… trait. Tsunade herself had been the one to note it. Now she was regretting it. The Haruno women had a chakra enhanced uterus. She thought it had to be an adaptation from the Clan's originally belonging to the mountains. On a cold mountain side, where the life span was shortened, the body, had to find a way to preserve the life of the strongest child. Just like the Hyuuga's had thicker veins and the Uchiha had night adapted pupils, the Haruno, had the ability to strengthen any Kekkei Genkai of any male child, the hold within their bodies. Their live spans are much longer than normal. Basically, it's like good gene's on steroids. Tsunade stood from the table, preparing to take her leave. She'd left Naruto in her office and was scared when she got their half the village would be gone.

"Just so you know, I know who you're going to pick, and all I ask is that when they say no, because they will, you leave them alone."

With that she left the clans to pick over the files without her watchful eyes and made her way to her office. Each step she felt like running to the Library and telling Nalla to take Sakura far, far, away from here.

The first letter came to the Haruno's on a weekend. Which was odd, actually, there were a lot of odd things about the letter. The first, was that it came on a weekend, mail was delivered on weekdays, and just dropped in the mailbox and left their to rot until one of her children were forced to check the mail as it basically exploded out of the box. Next, was that it was hand delivered from a clan messenger. He was dressed in the white garb that she'd seen Hyuuga's wear. With it came a bundle of white flowers, that she'd never seen in her life, and a white sash. She threw it all down on the counter after ushering the delivery boy away, she stood with her hands on her hips, beside her red-head sister staring the letter down, Nalla, with Veva, her sister opened the letter, which was crested together with wax.

It read:

Dear Haruno Family,

It has come to our attention you have a very special gift, and a very beautiful daughter. We'd like to invite you and your family to a dinner with the honorable Main Branch Hyuuga family in order to discuss the official courting of your Daughter and our beloved first Son, Neji Hyuuga.

Master Hyuuga is an ANBU captain, a specialist in tracking, an earth, water, and weapons specialist. He behold the strongest Byakugan ever seen in Hyuuga history, he has been manner trained, he is an excellent marksmen.

We believe the young Haruno would make an excellent addition to the Hyuuga clan. Please consider the flowers a gift from us, they come from our private prized garden. A messenger will return in three days' time for your response.

Yours truly,

Hyuuga Main Branch.

Print.

Nalla had been dreading this day, since the day the doctor informed her that she was having a daughter. While she loved all of her children equally, and would never really want to change things about them, she sometimes wished Sakura was born a male. Like her brothers. Instead, she was born soft, feminine, female. Sakura was Nalla's prized possession, a nurse, the type of women to save a bunny in the forest, to help an old man cross the street, or to pick flowers with the academy girls, Nalla knew one day the clans would come for her. She didn't know they do it so quickly.

It always got out, no matter if they were still in the moutains, in the Sand Village or wherever they always found out, that something was different about Haruno women. It was both a blessing and a curse, her late husband, the most wonderful man, had come out of nowhere, but really, she picked him to avoid going to a prestigious clan in Sand. If she was already married, they couldn't come after her , that didn't stop them from trying to take her husbands life. Or coming after Sakura. But Nalla had heard of the Hidden Leaf Village, a beautiful land, with beautiful possibilities, while they still had large clans, those clans had never heard of the Haruno's.

At least not yet.

And now they had.

Nalla thought of her sweet daughter, and with her sister, thought up the most appropriate response.

Hyuuga Main Branch,

We are delighted that we were considered, and so humbled. Thank you for the flowers, but we do not believe that Sakura is fit for clan life, we always believe it should be our daughters choice who she should marry, to set her up for courting might hurt her feelings.

Again, we are so humbled to even be in the ranking. But no thank you.

Respectfully yours,

Veva and Nalla Haruno

The next later came in a much more dramatic fashion. Two messenger boys arrived, in full black traditional garb, red sash's, this time, there was no letter, two decorative scroll was handed to them, wrapped in red ribbon, with it came a thick bundle of flowers, a thermos, a basket of bread, a knitted blanket, and a fan. A fan she recognized. She almost didn't open the scrolls.

The first one she opened was in elegant cursive. She could hear the saccharine dripping from the letter, she pulled one of the still warm bread rolls out of the basket and ate as she read, handing her props to the chef.

Dearest Haruno Family,

We wish you the highest regards, enclosed the Matriarch has included bread, blanket and soup, we've heard of the sickly state of the young Ms. Haruno and hope for a quick and painless recovery, please do inform the Uchiha if anything is needed for her care, the clan is prepared to help in any way they can.

The Main branch has written today to ask for a most formal invitation of courtship of the youngest Ms. Haruno. In hopes of marriage to our eldest heir, Uchiha, Itachi. A fulfilling life ahead of her, the Uchiha pride themselves in having the best the world can offer, we have invited Nalla and Veva Haruno for a luncheon with the main Branch to discuss the possibility of courtship and to meet the elder master Uchiha, please consider, yours truly,

Patriarch, Fugaku Uchiha

Counsel members, Suri and Misha Uchiha.

Best Intentions,

Uchiha.

The second letter looked something like a resume, Nalla could only shake her head that a family could document their children this down to the wire, they could probably tell her when he got his first erection or when he discovered boobs weren't just fleshly flabs.

Uchiha Itachi Graduated from the academy at age seven, the second youngest to ever graduate from the academy. He mastered his Sharingan at age eight. He passed his chunin exam at age ten, and his Anbu, became an Anbu captain at age thirteen, has been moved around ranks in Anbu ever since, was even a candidate for Hokage.. This was ridiculous. The poor child probably had PTSD or something equally demeaning. Truthfully she'd met him before, only briefly in the booking room, he was quiet, polite, and didn't stare at her hair, which made him an okay human in her book, but not okay to marry her daughter.

These rolls are ridiculous, she thought. She'd must have had three of them by now, in her defense, Sakura's respiratory infection wouldn't allow for her to eat rolls anyway…

Nalla simply copied the notice she'd made the Hyuuga's and made the decision to send it off the next day.

"mama.."

Nalla spun on her heel. Sakura leant against the door, her frame was pale, and shaky, she was wheezing, her eyes had circles under them even though she'd been sleeping for days.

"Sakura! Get back in bed this instant!" Nalla moved to navigate her daughter back to the guest room where she'd been resting.

"Where'd you get all those flowers?" She was mumblings,

"I'll tell you when you're better."

"Mama …. It's happening … isn't it."

"I'm sorry Sakura."

I do not own Naruto

Review: Keep my juices flowing. I reply to all reviews let me know if you have a question.

The chapters will get longer, I just needed to introduce you to what the vibe was.

Thank you