1: Road Trip

I was sitting at my desk as I packed my bag for school.

First day back at school… I'm looking forward to it! I can't wait to be back in glee club again. With everything that's happened, I need to enjoy myself more. I have an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends, so it's time to live it up. It's also a lot of the guys last year before graduating, so I'm gonna make this the best year I can for them, Puck and Santana especially.

As I stood up and swung my bag onto my shoulder, it hit a small box that subsequently fell to the floor. As I looked down to pick it up, I realised what was in the box; the plec. His plec. The memories of the trip came flooding back to me in one swift motion…

/

Summer:

"I can't believe we're actually on a road trip. This is gonna be awesome!" Puck said happily as he stepped out of his truck, which was now parked in a motel car park.

"Ugh, we're staying here?" Santana said as she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Relax Santana, life is all about experiences. Fancy hotels are much less fun" Blaine said.

"I hope there's a pool" Sugar said happily.

"This is a motel though… Would you really wanna get into a pool like that?" I asked.

"Well Sam's motel had one and that was pretty clean" Sugar said happily before realising what she had just said. She mentioned him.

I quietly walked to the trunk and began to unload our bags.

"Watch what you say!" Puck whispered to Sugar.

"I forgot!" Sugar whispered back a little too loudly.

"Ugh, he's gonna have to get over it eventually" Santana said, clearly still irritated about the nights' accommodation.

"Give him time guys. I'll talk to him about it, ok" Blaine whispered.

/

"Hey. You ok?" Blaine asked as he walked into our room. I was having a rest on my bed while the others where in the girls room.

"Yeah, just a bit tired. Thought I'd take a breather" I said as I turned around to look at him. "Cuddle?" I asked as I put out my arms. Blaine smiled as he lay down beside me and cuddled in.

"I'm glad we get to do this" I said happily.

"Me too… I don't want to make you upset, but I really think we need to talk about this Ryan. You're going through a huge loss and you're dealing with it alone, because you won't talk about it" He said sadly.

"… What is there to say Blaine?" I asked.

Blaine looked at me sadly, not knowing how to reply. Instead, he simply leaned into me and rested his head on my shoulder.

/

The next day:

We had spent the day at a swimming pool nearby. We were now back in our motel rooms getting ready for a night in the karaoke bar nearby.

Puck had just emerged from the shower in nothing but a very short towel.

"Ah, this is great. I gotta live like this. Maybe I'll do this after I graduate, well, if I graduate. We should all just live on the road. I feel so; free…" He said before dropping his towel as he looked out the window.

"Puck, you know that could get you arrested?" Blaine said.

"I'll turn around then. And if you wanted to see Puck jr. you could have just asked" He said before turning around confidently and jumping onto his bed.

Blaine and I shared a look of approval.

"Puck, I'm more than satisfied with Ryan. But you are very nice to look at, so you can stay like that." he said as he winked at me.

"Hot. Well you know, we've all swapped spit before. Why not revisit those moments, together?" He asked.

Blaine and I looked at each other for a moment, honestly considering Puck's offer.

Blaine looked down as I spoke.

"Um, well it actually sounds fun, but Blaine and I… Um, we haven't done anything like that yet. We're taking it slow." I said apprehensively.

"Oh that's cool dudes, I understand. But my offer still stands, whenever you're ready." He said confidently before throwing on jeans and a t-shirt. "I'm gonna go get the girls" He said before walking out of the room.

"Ryan, um, do you think you'll be ready to take the next step soon? Not sex, I'm not ready for that either, but other stuff?" Blaine asked a little apprehensively.

"Blaine, I dunno… I don't want to rush things. I want to do this right" I said.

The truth is, I really want to take the next step with Blaine. But with everything that happened with him… I just can't get it out of my mind. It's fucking me up.

Before Blaine had a chance to reply, Puck, Sugar and Santana walked into the room.

"Sugar, I mean this in a nice way, but you just don't have the star power or diva attitude to get solos in glee" Santana said before looking at Blaine and I.

"What's up with you two? Ugh don't tell me someone mentioned Trouty Mouth again?" Santana said with an eye roll.

"Santana, don't be a bitch" Sugar said angrily.

"Irish, come with me. We need to talk" She said a little angrily.

I was about to protest but after seeing her 'don't mess with me' bitchface, I got up and followed quickly.

"You sure you'll be ok alone?" Sugar asked, looking worried.

"I will, you have fun and I'll be back soon"

/

Santana and I had walked quietly for five minutes or so until we had reached a bench in a quiet, almost deserted park.

"Sam. Sam. Sam. SamSamSamSamSamSamSamSam!" Santana said angrily.

"Santana, shut up" I said angrily.

"No! You need to get it into that your thick skull that shit happens. Things change. People leave. Get over it! You can't just sit and pretend he never existed!" She said.

"Why can't I? He's not coming back! He left and he never even said goodbye! Why can't I just forget him?" I said as I began to get upset.

Santana's expression turned a little softer as she continued.

"Look, I get it. He was really important to you. You loved each other, and he hurt you bad; but you need to accept it and move on. You lost Sam, but you still have so many other people that love you. You need to grow up and start dealing with your crap." She said.

"I am dealing with it. But I don't want to talk about it with other people. I'm not hurting any of you guys" I said.

"Do you really think that you're not hurting anyone? Puck, Sugar and Blaine are terrified to mention Sam in case it upsets you. They're walking on eggshells around you. You're bringing everyone down. You seem to forget that they were all Sam's friends too. And Blaine; it's so painfully obvious that he's in love with you. How do you think he feels having a boyfriend who doesn't enjoy being with him cause he's too busy thinking about his ex?" She said bluntly.

"But I love Blaine too! We haven't said it yet, but I love being with him. He's helped so much with this… Am I really that bad? Does it look like I'm not enjoying my time with him? Am I really pissing you all off that much?" I said, shocked.

"Yeah, pretty much" She said.

"Fuck… I've been selfish. I can't believe I let it get this bad… I just… It's Sam, and he just left without as much as a goodbye… You're right though; I need to stop this. I need to be myself again. I don't want you guys angry with me. I can't believe how I've been treating Blaine. I didn't even realise. I'm really sorry Santana" I said.

"You don't have to apologise to me. I don't really care. Say sorry to the ones you've actually been hurting" She said nonchalantly. "We should get back to the others."

"You go ahead, can you give me 5 minutes alone?" I asked her.

"I'll wait over there" She said as she pointed to a nearby bench.

I sat in silence for a moment before taking out my iPod and clicking on the song that I knew would help me at this moment.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've doneAnd I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from hereLight up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dearLouder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

I began to tear up.

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly doLight up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dearLouder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to saySlower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little headsHave heart, my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this messLight up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

The song finished as I wiped my eyes dry before getting up and walking to Santana.

/

We walked back into the room to find Sugar, Blaine and Puck watching tv.

"Hey guys, you all ready to go?" I asked as I smiled.

"Yeah! Are you ok? Santana didn't drug you did she?" Sugar said looking confused at my sudden happiness.

"No she didn't" I chuckled. "Guys, listen up for a sec. I don't want to make a big deal out of this. Santana made me realise that I haven't been treating any of you right lately. I've taken Sam's move hard, but I'm ok now. I'm getting over it. I just want to say that I'm so sorry for hurting you guys and I hope you can forgive me" I said.

"Of course we do! We're just glad you're ok!" Sugar said as she hugged me.

/

The five of us were having a great time at the karaoke bar. We all had been dancing around and singing for two hours now.

"Hey, any chance you could stay out with the girls for an extra hour? I was thinking Blaine and I could do with some 'alone' time" I whispered to Puck.

"Hot. What's in it for me though?" Puck said seductively as he winked..

"You're such a chancer. Maybe you'll get a three way kiss. But that's it! No more!" I said as I laughed.

"Hmmm, I'm in! Go have fun!" He said happily before moving over to dance with Sugar and Santana again.

I walked over to Blaine and grabbed his hand before whisking him out the door quickly.

"Ryan? What's wrong?" Blaine said, worrying.

"You're too sexy and I can't take it anymore" I said before leaning in and kissing him passionately.

"Faggots! Burn in hell!" a man across the street shouted over at us.

Blaine and I broke apart. Blaine looked like he was about to say something.

"Leave it Blaine. It's not worth it. Let's just go" I said as I pulled him the other way.

/

"That was... Wow" I said lazily as I lay next to Blaine.

"Yeah… Wow… I hope it's ok that we didn't go all the way. I'm just not ready for that, I've never done it before" Blaine said, sounding a little worried.

I leaned over and placed a tender kiss on his lips as he was talking mid-sentence.

"You don't need to apologise. I completely understand. I'm the one that needs to apologise. I've been a terrible boyfriend these last few weeks. I'm so sorry for how I've been acting. Just know that even if it seemed like I was unhappy, I would have been a million times worse if you weren't with me. You've been amazing and I'm sorry I haven't appreciated you properly." I said as I as looked at him sincerely.

"It's ok Ryan. I know you had a lot to deal with. I miss him too" He said.

I smiled a little before looking into Blaine's eyed.

"I love you" I said.

Blaine looked shocked for a moment before bursting into an expression of happiness and saying "I love you too".

/

Wow, a lot has happened. But the Sam stuff; it's in the past. Can't change what has already happened. I have to look to the future and like I said, I'm gonna enjoy this year and try to have the best time with my best friends and my boyfriend.

I picked up the plec and put it back into its box before placing it on my desk and walking out the door.

/

A/N: So this was originally supposed to be the last chapter of Year 2's story, but I decided that I preferred it as the opener to Year 3 :)

I'll be back as soon as possible with the next chapter but it may take a little longer than usual as I'm still trying to plan out this story and also am busy with college.

As always, reviews are very much appreciated and thanks for reading this story!