Going Home

Chapter 1

A/N : Firstly thank you to all those who very kindly said they would like to read a sequel to my story Going Under. As life is hectic at the minute I figured I would start writing the sequel but it will be a work in progress. I will try to update it as and when I can but as my other story is still ongoing too it will be challenging so I apologize if the updates take a while to complete. Here for the moment is the first chapter. I hope you all enjoy it.

Mike spent what was left of the evening planning his and Steve's trip to Modesto. While on one hand he was anxious about how Steve would handle the trip back to his hometown after recent events and after the revelations of deep hurt he had experienced there as a child, at the same time he was kind of looking forward to the weekend aswell. Neither detective had taken any kind of leave for a considerable time and Mike felt that they had both earned a break and that they would both benefit from some downtime.

Mike also loved fishing and hadn't been for ages so he was looking forward to the peace and the harmony of his favourite sport and the prospect of teaching Steve the right way to fish. As he retrieved the fishing gear from the garage he smiled to himself. He had tried on many occasions to coax Steve to come fishing with him but on each occasion Steve had made an excuse or some reason why he couldn't join him. He knew Steve had no great love of the pastime but he did truly believe that on this occasion it would do the boy the world of good. After his near escape from the Bay, his hospital stay, his bad migraine attack and his recent upset, Mike reckoned the fresh air and the change of pace that only a fisherman could experience was better than any therapy Lenny could recommend. Nothing was more relaxing than sitting on a riverbank with a fishing pole waiting for a fish to bite and nothing tasted better than a fish cooked over a campfire at the end of a long day's fishing. Mike had taken Jeannie with him a few times as a little girl but now that she was all grown up, shopping held more excitement for his little girl these days than muddy riverbanks. He didn't mind though. They both still shared a great love of the Theatre, the Cinema and the Opera and spent plenty of enjoyable evenings in each other's company on her weekends home.

Coming out of his thoughts, Mike finished sorting all the fishing gear they would need and then went back into the house and packed a hold all bag with clothes and toiletries and his shaving gear. Then he made himself a sandwich and a cup of coffee and finally sat down in his living room to eat and have a well-earned rest. Once again he thought about the last few days and about all the things he had learned about Steve's past. He shuddered involuntarily as he once more pictured Steve as a young boy holding his beloved, deceased Grandfather in the pouring rain and his heart broke for the young man. He determined in that moment, that despite the painful but necessary reasons for their trip to Modesto, he would make it his business to make sure that Steve had an enjoyable weekend. He deserved one after all he had been through and Mike was going to make sure he had one! Then finishing his sandwich and coffee he picked up the phone and dialled Jeannie's number in Arizona and smiled broadly as her sweet, familiar voice answered.

"Hi Sweetheart! It's Mike. Listen are you sitting comfortably? Then I need to tell you something. Now, now don't go getting all concerned, I'm fine. Yes, so is Steve. JEANNIE! Will you listen to me honey? Something happened a few days ago and well, I just want to tell you about it, that's all " and as Jeannie listened carefully, Mike relaxed into the armchair and related to his daughter the last few day's events and told her about the trip they were about to take.

They chatted for over an hour. Mike told her about Steve's underwater rescue, how he had gotten the little girl to talk and his subsequent migraine attack but he didn't tell her of Steve's heartache as a child as he felt once more that it would be wrong to share such private details so recklessly without his permission at the very least. No, that story would be for another time and place and he felt that Jeannie would have to hear about those details from the young man himself if ever. Instead he told Jeannie that they had decided on their fishing trip to Modesto for R&R purposes and as an excuse for Mike to see where Steve grew up. While Jeannie was concerned about Steve after what she had just heard, she was pleased to hear that Steve and Mike were taking this trip together and was confident that her father would make sure that Steve would come back from it rested and recuperated. She wished them well and made him promise to call her when they got back to tell her all about their trip. Promising her he would, he said goodnight to his daughter and after they had said their usual goodbyes, Mike hung up the phone and decided that it was time for him to get to bed and get some sleep.

Mike felt tired, drained by the emotional impact of the day and satisfied that he had packed everything they needed for their trip he locked up, switched out the lights and went to bed. As he lay in bed , his thoughts once more turned to Steve. He wondered how he was and considered ringing the hospital to find out but thought better of it when he looked at his clock and saw that it was one o'clock in the morning. He hoped that Steve would not worry too much about the trip and that he would manage to get a decent night's sleep. With that last thought in his mind, Mike set his alarm clock for eight o'clock in the morning and settling down under the covers he drifted off into a restful sleep.

Meanwhile...

Back at San Francisco General, Steve had slept peacefully for another five hours after Mike left, the exhaustion he felt giving him little other choice, but when the nurse came in to check him at two o'clock in the morning he woke up as she checked his sore arm.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you " the night nurse spoke sincerely "I just have to change the heat pack on your arm. The swelling is almost gone. How is your headache?"

"It's gone thanks" Steve replied drowsily and watched as the nurse wrapped up his right arm again with the new heat pack.

Checking his vital signs and satisfied that all was as it should be the nurse wrote up the chart and left the room again, whispering before she closed the door fully.

"Try to go back to sleep now. It's only two am. The Doctor will be in to see you at around six."

Steve sighed and desperately tried to get back to sleep. But he wasn't that tired anymore. Having slept so long yesterday afternoon and more earlier he felt wide awake. His mind was racing and wouldn't stop. He was starting to regret agreeing to the trip to Modesto. He knew Mike thought it was a good idea and that Lenny in his professional capacity had thought so too but try as he might he couldn't think of one good thing about returning to Modesto. There were too many bad memories there that detracted from the good ones and he hated fishing! He had only agreed to it so as not to disappoint Mike and now he was worried. In his current fragile emotional state he wasn't sure how he would react to seeing Harry's place again, that's if it was even still there but he knew Mike had his heart set on it so he felt he would have to go through with it and manage the best he could. But as he lay back against the pillows and watched the moonlight stream through the blinds and bathe the hospital room in a silver glow, Steve knew it was going to be a long night.

And it was ... Steve tossed and turned over the next two hours. His mind tortured him as it dragged up all the events of the last three days in vivid detail and refused to let him rest. Giving up at four am Steve sat up gingerly in the bed and reaching into the locker he took out the box once more. Reaching up he turned on the light above his bed and this time he didn't hesitate but opened it up and took out the photos. Steve spent the next half hour looking through each one and remembering every single time those pictures were taken. Days fishing with his Grandfather, both of them working in Harry's vegetable garden, pictures of Steve's birthdays, his seventh one where Harry had bought him the most spectacular bicycle he had ever seen, pictures of Steve blowing out the candles on the cake Harry had made himself and others that made Steve smile but also made his heart break at the same time.

As he went through the photos, his fingers touched on the letter again. Knowing that he had to face a lot more over the next few days than just words written on a piece of paper, Steve forced himself to open the letter again and quietly, breathing raggedly, Steve read through the letter once more. It wasn't any easier to read the second time around and to Steve's annoyance and frustration he found himself getting upset again. Only this time he was alone and there was no-one to witness the tears that free fell down his cheeks as he once more grieved for the Grandfather he missed so much. Finally, managing to pull his emotions back together, and thankful for the peace that these early morning hours allowed, Steve refolded the letter with great care and replaced all the pictures and the letter back in the box. He then took out the ring and the pocket watch and held them for several minutes as more memories flowed through his mind.

He remembered the many times that his Grandfather had produced the watch out of his pocket to keep Steve forever on time. He closed his eyes as he could hear Harry's voice as clearly as if he were in that hospital room with him.

"Time for bed Steve! Look at the time kid, time for you to be getting off to school. I guess we have time for a hot chocolate and one more story before you go to sleep! What do you say kid? "Why aren't you asleep yet Steve? Don't you know what time it is? Time for dinner Steve. You better go wash up. Steve? ... Steve? ..."

Harry's voice suddenly faded and the voice sounded different. Someone was gently shaking his arm and startled, Steve jolted his eyes open and saw Dr. Armstrong standing over him looking concerned. Steve realized then that he must have dozed off and to his horror and embarrassment he knew he must look a sight. With red, possibly tear-stained eyes and still holding Harry's watch, Steve sat upright and tried to find the words that would explain his current state but couldn't find any so he rubbed at his eyes with his free hand instead.

"Steve? Are you ok? Is your headache back?" the Doctor asked concerned at finding Steve fitfully sleeping and mumbling something he couldn't quite make out when he had called in to check on him.

His eyes still looked red and sore but thankfully for Steve, the Doctor seemed to be still putting that down to the dreadful migraine he had suffered. However the young man in the bed was still shaking very slightly and was not responding to his questions as quickly as he would like him too. Taking his stethoscope from around his neck he proceeded to listen to Steve's heartbeat which again was a little fast for the Doctor's liking. Starting to believe that Steve was having flashbacks of the rescue again he questioned Steve some more.

"Steve? Were you having a nightmare? About the rescue? Your heart rate is fast and you're shaking."

Hearing the Doctor and knowing that he had to answer him if he wanted to get out of here later, Steve realized that the Doctor's question gave him a way out of having to explain his upset over Harry. So managing to find his voice he shakily answered.

"Yeah. Yeah I think so. I guess it's still haunting me a little. But ... I'm ok ... and my headache's gone ..."

Steve hoped he sounded convincing enough as he pulled the box over towards him and proceeded to put the ring and the watch carefully back into the box with a trembling hand. Unfortunately, Dr. Armstong was a very astute man and wasn't fully buying his explanation and watching him place the items back in the box he ventured further.

"Nice watch. Was that your Grandfather's Steve? My father had one just like it. May I see it?"

Steve grew apprehensive but not wanting to give away too much he agreed readily. Trying to control the shake in his hand and failing miserably he forced a false smile and handed the watch over to the Doctor.

"Sure. Here! Yeah, it was my Grandfather's. I think he got it from his father before him. He told me the story once."

Dr Armstrong studied the watch admiringly and at the same time was watching Steve's reaction to him looking at it from the corner of his eye and was secretly making his own conclusions based on the evidence he now had, as to what was upsetting his patient.

"It's real nice Steve. A real treasure to have" and handing the watch back to Steve he added "I guess this whole business with young Ruby Vaccaro really dragged up old times for you huh?"

Knowing then that the Doctor had sussed him out he became determined to overcome the current interrogation so feeling a new sense of courage he spoke more confidently as he placed the watch back in the box and closed it protectively.

"Yeah, I guess. But I can handle it! I'm ok Doc."

Dr. Armstrong eyed Steve up and down trying to figure the young man out. He knew Steve was a strong and competent police officer and he had witnessed him getting through some pretty tough cases over the time he'd been partners with Mike but as a Doctor, he also knew that everyone had a breaking point and he strongly felt that Steve had been close to his these last three days and he was genuinely worried about the young man in the bed. While Steve was feeling uncomfortable under the Doctor's stare he was determined not to show any weakness as he knew his getting out of the Hospital depended on it and Steve truly felt that he couldn't stick one more day in that room, as already the walls felt like they were closing in on him. So he stayed staring back at the Doctor and while it was only for a minute, it felt a lot longer to Steve. Dr. Armstrong admired Steve's resolve but he also knew in his heart that it was all an act so he spoke again.

"Steve! Listen. I'm your Doctor and you're right, you're in good physical shape. And I know you think you can cope with all this but I think you're struggling this time. I'll go as far as to say I know you are! Since you've been in here, the only proper sleep you've gotten is when I've sedated you. The night nurse said you've been awake again most of the night and you've hardly eaten anything at all in the last three days. I know you're not going to like this but I want to keep you another day for your own good!"

On hearing those words, Steve couldn't keep up his act any longer. The mere thoughts of being cooped up in that room one more day was too much to endure so immediately he pleaded.

"No! Doc! Anything but that! Ok. You're right I'm struggling this time but I'm dealing with it. You can ask Lenny or Mike! But sitting in this room another day is not going to help me get over it either. I need to get back to normal. Besides, Mike is taking me away for a fishing trip this weekend. Fresh air, rest and relaxation. Just what the Doctor ordered right? Please Doc ... just let me go home. I'll be ok and you know Mike. He's going to watch me like a hawk. What harm can I come to with him wrapping me up in cotton wool huh? "

Dr. Armstrong again seemed to study the young man closely, processing his latest plea.

"Are you going to eat something for breakfast for me?"

"Absolutely ... I'm actually feeling hungry."

"Hmmmm ..." the Doctor pondered once more." Ok ... Here's the deal. You eat something substantial and I'll talk to Lenny and Mike. If they agree with what you said I'll sign your release but if they have any doubts then you're staying one more day... Got it?"

"Ok ... " Steve agreed reluctantly feeling a little disheartened.

Truth was he wasn't feeling hungry at all and he knew eating enough to keep the Doc happy would be a challenge but at least he reckoned Lenny and Mike would tell the Doctor he was ok seeing as it was their idea for him to return to Modesto for the weekend in the first place so if he had to force himself to eat in order to get out of here then he would gladly do it!

"Right ... I'll send the nurse in and you can tell her what you'd like for breakfast and I'll give Lenny and Mike a ring. I'll check back in on you after you've eaten and let you know whether you're allowed home or not."

Seeing how dejected Steve looked he added.

"Look Steve, I'm not trying to keep you here indefinitely. I just need to know that if I let you out of here you're going to be able to sleep without having nightmares and that you're going to eat properly. How's the arm feeling? I better just check it before I go."

"It's a little sore but it feels better than it did." Steve admitted.

Dr. Armstrong unwrapped the heat pack and examined Steve's right arm. The swelling had gone down and the bruising had started to change colour which was a good sign. He got Steve to move his fingers and was satisfied that it was on the mend. Steve hadn't even flinched too much when he'd examined it.

"Well Steve, that arm is on the mend but it will be a little sore for a few days so just go easy with it for a while. I'll call back to you later. Try to rest and take it easy in the meantime."

And patting the young man's shoulder he turned and left the room. Steve waited until the door closed and then slowly he swung his legs off the bed and very slowly stood up. He was wary after the last time he had tried to walk around but this time he wasn't dizzy or wobbly on his feet so he walked more confidently to the window and looked outside at the still disappointing car park view. The sun had just begun to rise and the car park was bathed in early morning light. It looked like it was going to be a nice sunny day. Steve reckoned he just had to concentrate on getting out of here first and then he would worry about the difficult weekend ahead.