When Severus closed his eyes for the last time, breathing his last words to Harry Potter, the boy who lived, he merely felt an overwhelming feeling of relief. He was done. No more frantic efforts to save a child he did not even care for, someone who was living proof of his biggest mistakes. Gone were the days of torture, horror someone would find his secret. Gone was that fear, that useless fear that Voldemort would kill him. Looking back, isn't that what he had wanted all along? To be freed? To see her again? And now, finally, he was done.

He felt himself floating, like gravity had been reversed. He looked down, saw his body, saw the boy collecting his memories, gaping at what Voldemort had done. He faced his last choice (or so he believed): stay or go? But what was there to stay for? In a way, there had never been a choice. And so he moved on, letting the potential ghost fade away.

When he opened his eyes, he sat up in shock. Didn't he just die? He remembered clearly, Harry Potter's green eyes bringing back all those memories. He had died, he was sure. So where was he? What was this mist that obscured his vision? And no sooner had he thought so, that the mist cleared away, and there stood Albus Dumbledore.

"Albus. Where am I?"

"You tell me, my dear Severus. Where are you?" He looked around and recognized the park under the trees where he had first seen Lily, all those years ago.

"Home."

"Very good. I expect you're eager to get this over with. You don't want to feel anymore, isn't that right?" Severus could only nod. "I'm sorry, Severus. There's nothing that can stop love. I trust I have made that clear. Those that die never really leave. We're still here, watching over."

Angered, the Professor replied, "Easy for you to say, Dumbledore! Who have you loved? Who has shunned you? The world loves you. You were their savior. You say the dead never really leave. So Lily must be here too, no? I don't see her. Why do I have to suffer, even after I'm gone?"

"My dear, dear Severus. This is merely the stepping-stone, if you will, between life and… the afterlife, if you wish. I simply have to fill you in on some things. The bridge between the two worlds transforms into wherever the, er, passenger's, life changed irrevocably. Yours was changed when you first saw her. Lily's was changed when she was sorted into Gryffindor. And mine, well… mine was changed when Ariana was born. So, what do you think Harry's will change to?"

"Albus! Here we are, in the afterlife, as you call it. And you still worry about the boy? There's nothing you can do now, Albus! Nothing at all."

"Oh, but there is. When Harry dies, I will welcome him. I will tell him the truth. But, you are right. Enough with Harry for the moment. Tell me, Severus. Are you sure you want to see her again?"

"Of course!" Dumbledore looked down his glasses at him, as he did so often, and Severus hesitated. "Well… I do need to see her face, her hair, her eyes. I need to make sure she knows how incredibly sorry I am. But, she'll be with him. Potter." The name sounded like a curse. "How can I face that? I- I don't know, Dumbledore. How do I see her so happy when I'm… ?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly, shaking his head. "That, I'm afraid, my friend, is something you figure out for yourself. When we go on, or rather when you go on – my work here is still incomplete – you will be able to finally tell her. Not that she doesn't know, now. After all, she has been watching for quite a while. Sixteen years to be precise. But, you can confront your fears, ask her forgiveness, settle your issues with James – "

"Bah! That will happen. That arrogant, son of a – "

"Severus! In case you hadn't noticed, your judgments tend to arrive a little too quickly. Try to, as you so often advised our young hero down there, control your emotion. You told him to control his love. Why don't you control your hatred? Give him a chance, why don't you?" Even then, Dumbledore knew he was asking too much. When James had ruined any hopes of Severus winning over Lily, he had become the devil incarnate in the hurt man's eyes. But, Dumbledore hoped that the new, mature James whom Severus had never met might help Severus see reason. Perhaps, some lonely maiden would catch his fancy, and his longing for Lily would fade. Again, Dumbledore knew he was hoping for the impossible. Severus had loved Lily since they were children. He had done everything. No lonely maiden could change that.

Severus watched Dumbledore's change in expression desolately. And despite his frustration at Dumbledore's urge to forgive and forget, he felt a longing to put it past him. He didn't want to feel. Why couldn't everyone be like Voldemort. No feelings, no love, no more hurt. He was sick of all this pain! When would it end? He had lived every day burning in his unsaid words, his mistake so long ago. It felt like it would consume him from the inside. It was a miracle he ever blocked his mind. The pain and anguish would have been enough to destroy Dumbledore himself, he thought. And it still wasn't over. Now, he was living (dying?) in the same pain, the same scorching fire. Would it never end? He knew he needed to go. He had to leave, find solace somewhere else. But where? Where?

Albus saw Severus' tortured anguish and sighed. It was time. He couldn't linger here as fear of the unknown gnawed at him. And so Albus whispered, "All right Severus. Go see your Lily. Go ahead. I'll come soon."

And Severus felt himself being lifted by the back of his neck up, sideways, down, he didn't know which way. But as he left, he saw Dumbledore shrinking away there below him, and hoped whatever it was he had to do, he would finish soon. Severus didn't think he could bear the "afterlife" alone. And so he left the stepping-stone, and entered a new world.