The Royal Pain in My Ass

Introduction

Once upon a time, far away in the land of Ooo, there lived a prince made entirely out of bubblegum. His name was-

Are you seriously going to start the story that way? That's so lame…

Oh, and who are you to decide how I read this story? Just who are you anyway?

I have many names, but you can call me Patch.

Patch? Oh, was that an attempt to frighten me? Where you a part of a gang or something?

Oi, don't be a poot. And yes, I was a leader. Problem?

Well, to an extent I do have a problem with you. I don't need some intoxicated swine to come into my reading, and correct my way of telling a story. Now if you don't mind, I would like to tell these young masters and mistresses the tale of Prince Gumball, and King Marshall Lee.

Whoa there Gramps, you realize you broke into my house in the middle of the night, raided my desk, and are reading my work of fiction….

Author? You- I thought this was the home of Greyson-sama!

My name is Greyson you old poot!

Oh my goodness, I do beg your pardon my good sir. My name is Rentaru, and I am a servant at the Bubblegum palace, and these are guests of Princess Bubblegum. I promised her that I'd show them around, and that they would be treated to proper entertainment. The only place I could think of was here, and I needed to read this story. I don't know what I was thinking, and it was very rude of us to barge in here uninvited. You don't even know who we are! I'm so very sorry, please beg my pardon.

Its fine Don't even rawr dinosaur, it's just that…. I am not about tradition. I'm all about…. My own style, you dig?

I think I … 'dig'. So, I suppose we should be leaving now… Sorry to intrude…

Hey, can I make a deal with you? In return for some information, I'll allow you all to stay, and I'll tell you the story. Deal?

Alright, that seems fine. But, what do you want to know?

How the Hell did you get into my house?

…Story first. I'm not an idiot you know.

Fair enough…..

Fine.

As I sat down in my chair, I opened the book. I waited as the small group of foreigners sat on the floor around me, anticipation growing on their faces as I place my thick rimmed glasses on my nose. Being as old as I am, my eyesight has gone to the dogs, even though I am a vampire. But, at least I'm not as blind as Marceline yet, she wears her contacts all the time. With a smile, I turned to the first page, and began my tale.

XxXxXx

(A/N: I hope you enjoyed the intro, even though it really has nothing to do with the story, but I thought it would be an interesting little sub plot or something Please review, comment, rant, cry, or even request, and I'll do my best to make everyone's wishes come true!

-Love, shits, and giggles,

Patch Greyson.)