Day Jobs

By: Kryptonite

Disclaimer: I do not own the comics or movie, merely the contents of my mind (sometimes).

A/N: I haven't published anything in a while, but I had this idea stuck in my head. It will most likely be very OC-centric, and I will stick mostly to movie-verse interpretations. I read the comics and I cried, don't want to write the comics, the movie has so much more potential. Please let me know what you think :)

Pairings: Clay/Aisha, Pooch/Jolene, Cougar/OC, possible Jensen/OC (we will see when we get there)

"No, that's my box. See the sticky note?" Jensen had the oddest way of labeling items as 'his', but the team had learned not to argue with him over it anymore. Clay had decided that they needed a "real" job to supplement their continuing search for Max. A job that wouldn't interfere with the process of said search. So here they were, moving into an office building in a medium-small town to act as a firm of private investigators. Which meant dealing with Jensen on which boxes were actually his and which he'd just accidentally sticky-noted in the process of boxing necessities up.

"Hello?" The team turned from watching Jensen and Cougar playing tug-of-war with the box to face the young woman in the doorway. Aisha stepped forward first, since most of the potential customers had automatically assumed that she was the secretary for the group. It annoyed her, but she circumvented the issue by just being the first to speak.

"How can we help you?" The woman smiled at the group, not broadly but confidently enough to let them know that she wasn't a customer.

"I think a more appropriate question is, how can I help you? I saw the advertisements in the help wanted section of the newspaper. I'm here to apply for a job. I'm supposed to see a Mr. Clay?" She searched the men that were back behind the counter, hoping for a response.

"That's me, why don't we step through here." He gestured behind him to the office that he was going to be sharing with Aisha, if they ever got things straightened out. "Pardon the mess, we just moved in."

"Not a problem at all," she was heard to say as Clay firmly closed the door behind her.

"Colonel advertised help wanted?" Jensen asked, distracted from the moment as to the ownership of the box, giving Cougar a chance to take the box out of his loose grip.

"Apparently," Pooch just shrugged. The colonel would hire who he decided to. He knew what was best and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the team's safety. Or at least, that's what Pooch hoped. The road to hell, and all of that jazz.

.

"So which position are you applying for?" Clay asked as he settled behind his desk. He had placed a help wanted ad for both an accountant and a secretary. The secretary was necessary so that no one on the team was needed to remain behind for the business to continue, and the accountant was so that someone would be able to keep the front of the business on the straight and narrow and not draw any unwanted government attention. Which was any and all attention.

"Well, I actually have a proposal for you."

Clay's eyebrows shot up as the woman paused. "Oh?" he questioned when she didn't immediately continue.

"You are advertising the secretarial position as full-time at eighty-fifty an hour, am I correct?"

"Yes ma'am." Clay wasn't sure where she was going with this. He hadn't looked at the application and resume that she'd handed him yet.

"That will amount to roughly $16,320 before any extraneous expenditures." Clay said nothing, flipping up the cover page on her resume to see her previous employment. "My proposal is for you to hire me into both positions, but," she forestalled the comment out of his mouth, "raise the salary for the accountant an additional $5,000 to $60,000 a year and save yourself over $10,000 in wages alone."

Clay was quiet. He took his time in responding by looking through her resume. It was quite impressive: she'd graduated from college three years prior and had worked for the IRS since then. She had passed the exams for certified public accountant, certified managerial accountant as well as certified internal auditor certifications. It was an impressive listing of abbreviations after her name.

"Why do you want to work here? This says you're still employed by the IRS. You'd be taking a bit of a pay cut if you accepted this position." The woman, Alexandra, Clay corrected himself, took a deep breath.

"I'm looking for a change of pace, also I found a house with a bit of land just outside of town. I've been looking for a job nearby since. This one is the closet to where I would like to live."

Clay appreciated the honest answer. However, he'd only interviewed a few other people besides this woman for the positions.

"Well we're still accepting applications for the next week or two, so we'll let you know then if we'd like you back for a second interview." Clay had stood and was brought a little short when she didn't stand as well.

"Quite frankly sir, I need an answer as soon as possible. To be honest, I need an answer now." She locked eyes with Clay at this point and he could see the stubborn determination hiding behind a thin shield of respect. Clay sat back down.

"To be honest, you are the most qualified candidate that has applied thus far. However, I don't believe it's fair to cut the process short simply because you need an answer. Convince me." Clay set her resume down on his desk and leaned back into his office chair, his arms folding across his chest.

"I am the most qualified candidate that is going to apply in the time frame that you just set. Also, I am the only candidate that is going to be able to do both positions and do them well. As a business that is just starting, no matter how well the clients are flowing currently, you need to reduce your costs as much as possible in order to stay afloat. By hiring me to both positions you are not only saving the $11,320 in wages, and let's just ignore the tax implications for the moment with that decision, but if I recall correctly once more, benefits were to be negotiated upon hiring. I'm not asking for any benefits other than the ability to call in sick every now and then. I'm not asking for paid vacation, paid sick days, health insurance, holiday pay, overtime or anything else of that nature. I am also willing and able to offer, not only to do the requirements necessary to be this business's accountant, individual tax return services at no additional charge to either the business or your employees."

Clay raised a hand as Alexandra took a breath to continue speaking. "Why do you need this job so badly that you're adding all of these extras to your workload?"

A hard glint lit up her eyes as she steeled herself for another respectful tirade. Clay just smiled, he'd already made up his mind about her. "I don't need this job, sir. I want this job. I want this job because I only want to work forty hours a week, not sixty plus. I want this job because, in my three years of looking, I've finally found the house and land of my dreams at a price and condition that I'm willing to accept. However, I won't quit my job, buy this house or do anything else until such time as I have gainful employment. I'm adding all of these bonuses because I have no problem performing them and because I'm trying to sugarcoat you into a quicker decision. Sir."

The sir was added as an afterthought and Clay knew it. He snorted and sat himself forward. "Well then I'd put in your two weeks' notice and go talk to the bank holding the house, Ms. Socha. You're hired. We'll draw up a contract with all of the caveats and addendums you added later, okay?" She smiled back at him before snagging a yellow legal pad from his desk. Alexandra scribbled madly for a minute and then handed it to him.

"You can either use Ms. Socha or Lexi, sir. Whichever is easier." She stuck her hand out to shake his as she stood from her seat.

"Lexi it is. Let me introduce you to the rest of the group." Clay motioned for her to precede him out of the office.

.

"Losers, front and center." Lexi gained another bonus point in Clay's mind by not even blinking at the nickname that Clay still used to 'rally the troops', so to say. Aisha stood and moved back from where she had been watching Jensen wire the security cameras that had arrived the previous day. Pooch and Cougar walked from their respective offices, Cougar leaning against the doorframe and Pooch coming to hop up on the counter separating the waiting area from the rest of the office. Jensen twisted the last wires together and rolled out from under the desk, and settled into a seated position on the floor.

"I placed help wanted ads, Ms. Lexi Socha is the answer to those help wanted ads. She'll be starting two weeks from Monday. Say hello to Lexi, everybody." Clay sometimes felt like a kindergarten teacher, keeping the Losers in line.

A chorus of 'hellos' rang out, with Jensen's 'hell-lo' louder than the others. Of course he would attempt to pick up the new employee before she was even technically working there.

"Hello," Lexi answered, smiling at them all.

"This is Aisha, Jensen, Cougar, and Pooch." Lexi's eyebrow twitched at the nicknames but said nothing.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, and normally I would love to stay and chat, but I have a lot to get done and not enough time to do it. Thank you, again, for the position." Lexi shook Clay's hand once more, smiled around the room and then left, like she was on fire or something.

"So that's who's going to be poking around our secrets?" Pooch motioned after the woman, a skeptical look on his face. Jensen just shrugged and rolled back to what he was doing.

"Yes, that is going to be our secretary and accountant to keep people from poking around our secrets. It will be interesting to see if Aisha's contacts are as good as they say they are," Clay made the dig because he knew it would get Aisha riled up. It was fun to do if you didn't get her too far up, which was what Clay was trying to determine, what was safe to tease about and what would get him hit upside the head again.

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" Aisha questioned as she followed him into their joint office, the door swinging shut behind them.

Cougar was the only one still watching Lexi. Instead of getting in her car she'd walked down the street to the real estate agent's office and entered. Intrigued despite himself, Cougar stayed where he was, able to see the door from where he rested against the doorframe.

He had no idea what compelled him to stay where he was. He had women dripping off of him, even on his bad days, but there was something about this woman- something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Cougar finally mentally shrugged himself out of the stare he'd sunk into and went back to work unpacking all of the office supplies that were supposedly necessary. He planned to spend as little time as possible at his desk, so he didn't see the point.

"So you wanna take bets on how crazy this one is?" Jensen came in with a huge grin on his face. Colonel Franklin Clay was known for the level of crazy in women that he managed to attract.

"I think considering she's an employee and not someone he's having 'relations' with, she's gotta be only half-crazy," Pooch answered for Cougar, walking into the office behind Jensen. Cougar merely shrugged, settling himself into his office chair and opening a current case file. They were all surprised at the wave of customers that they had been bombarded with once Clay had put out advertising of the business opening.

"We will find out soon enough," was Cougar's only addition to the conversation.