In this story, the events after the third class party with Jack and Rose didn't happen. They developed no romantic relationship beyond their flirting. We begin with Rose on the Carpathia, assuming she got in the first lifeboat with her mother.

The word freezing had lost meaning to me. Numbness has taken its place. I've been numb since Titanic struck the iceberg that would take it down. Perhaps it's selfish, to be so stricken when I'd been safe in a lifeboat the entire time,but mind you, I felt every emotion they did.

It was like watching a terrifying motion picture and not being able to leave the theatre. All you could do was watch. Watch and wait. Wait to die. Wait to live. Wait for an absolution, that will never come.

Now my mother and Cal and I were sitting in the first class dining room of the Carpathia, bundled up in blankets and drinking hot tea. For once, no one was speaking. I saw a good majority of the first class women that had been on board. Some were crying, some seemed entirely unaffected. But all looked a bit lost. A good amount of men seemed missing. I tried to be childish and think that perhaps they were on a different ship, or lifeboats that had yet to be unloaded, but being a child was impossible after last night. We had all lost whatever innocence we'd possessed. I knew the truth, most of the men were dead. Men I hadn't cared for, but would have never wished harm. I was overpowered with a sudden anger. How was it that decent men could die in such a terrible way? Who could allow this? And why weren't we all mourning those who were lost? I ran a hand over my cheek in hopes of moving a t that had fallen into my eyesight and was surprised at what I found.

Tears. Wet, hot, tears. I hadn't realized that I was crying. I immediately wiped them away. What right did I have to cry when I hadn't lost anything but my peace of mind?

I locked eyes with Cal. I prayed I might find some sympathy there, that he might reach his hand out and wipe my tears away, or pull me to his chest and kiss my hair. I wanted him to whisper sweet nothings that he'd never bothered with before.

He didn't. He just stared at me. A cold, almost angry stare. He looked tired. His hair was mussed and his head rested in his hand. He was paler than I'd ever seen him. Despite his weak appearance, to me he looked like the devil. Tears flooded my eyes once again as my fear of him and my sadness over Titanic mixed. I let out a helpless squeak, sounding like a wounded animal.

"Rose?" my mother asked. "Are you alright?"

"No." was all I managed to get out before I stormed out of the room.

I hear her voice behind me, begging me to come back, but I kept walking. I walked through endless corridors, ignoring the steward's inquiries.

"Do you need something miss?"

"Are you lost?"

Surely they had never seen a first class woman walking with such purpose before. We had nowhere we needed to be. Nothing we needed to do. We strolled leisurely through life, with rarely a glance behind or ahead of us. It was all taken care of.

Eventually I came to a narrow staircase that led out to an open deck. Air. That was exactly what I needed. I hurried down it and quickly slowed my pace when I saw where I was. A third class deck. With third class passengers. I froze. I saw families crying together, women begging stewards to help them find their husbands, children with no parents. I saw real, raw emotion, nothing like I'd seen last night or this morning. So many must have lost their lives, their loves, their hope. I remembered how few third class passengers I'd seen in the boats. Where had they been? They had to have been the first to know the ship's fate, being at the bottom. Oh God. What happened.

I walked to the railing of the ship and looked out at the cruel, heartless sea. No longer could I see any beauty in something that had taken so many lives. The ocean. Lives. My life. What else could an iceberg ruin?

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Please don't be Cal. Please don't be Cal.

I turned around. Cal it was not. It was a tall, lanky young man of about 20. His blue eyes spoke sorrow and understanding. Understanding of my pain. Sorrow for his own. Memories flashed before me.

Don't do it.

Do you love him?

Life's a gift, and I don't intend on wasting it.

Make it count. Meet me at the clock.

We'll have to get a little bit closer.

You go mailed to the wrong address.

Something I can't have.

I stood looking at him for a long while. He was pale as a ghost, his lips chapped, his body slouching, not just because of his devil-may-care attitude, but because it seemed he simply couldn't hold his body and it's grief upright. He looked like hell. Or at least like he'd been through it.

"Rose." he spoke simply.

His voice sent my over the edge. That beautiful, masculine tone, that had always sounded so optimistic to me was now completely disheartened. It was a mere croak of what it had been before. But it was still Jack, a man who I'd come to care for and trust more than myself in a mere three days. So I ran into his arms.

He felt surprisingly sturdy for all he'd been through. I sobbed into his already damp shirt and he clutched my curls so tightly it was almost painful. I felt his body shake and heard him let out a slight, choking sob.

"Oh Rose." he spoke into my neck, sounding slightly hopeful and relieved.

I held him tighter and cried harder. But I was almost happy. With all the pain around me, at least I still had this. Here, I was safe. Here, I was free to feel and be. Here, I didn't have to hide a thing. His arms were my sanctuary.

"Jack." I whispered into his shirt.

"Jack, Jack, Jack." Everything I needed to say was in his name. Thank you. I'm so glad you're here. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. Help me.

"It's gonna be okay Rose. It's gonna be okay."

And I believed him. I believed every word.

He pulled back a bit, still leaving his hands on my shoulders.

"What happened to you? You got into a boat right? And what about your mother? And...Cal? What about Cal?" he shot questions at me rapidly.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm fine. I got into one of the first boats lowered. My mother and Cal are okay too. But it doesn't matter. What happened to you? How did you survive?" I asked.

His mouth spread into a grin, I almost didn't notice the sadness behind it.

"That's what us Dawsons do. We survive." He answered. I knew there was more to it than that, but I was willing to accept it for now. I had something to tell him. Something I needed to say or else I might combust.

"When the ship docks," I paused and smiled widely, "I'm getting off with you."

He looked shocked, then scared, then deliriously happy.

"Are you sure?" he asked, dazed.

"If I've learned anything from you, and from what's happened, it's that life is short. I owe myself happiness. Will you help me?" I asked, knowing the answer. Of course he'd help me. That's what Jack did.

He smiled before hugging me again.

"What do you think?" he said sarcastically.

I laughed. Happiness I deserved, and it seemed like I was finally going to get it.