I Kneel Before You by Rachlan
I knelt before you, more ashamed than I had ever been in my life. My insides felt frozen and I wished i could melt out of existence. Suddenly everything I had ever done wrong flashed before my eyes. My heart felt like it was cracking into a million pieces. I don't deserve... Your arms grasp mine gently and pull me up. I keep my gaze down, unable to looked in your eyes, afraid of what I might see hidden in their depths. And I see your hands. Oh, Papi, your hands. They are so... amazingly beautiful. One wouldn't think it would be so, but they are. Because I know what they have done.. oh, God, I don't know if I can do this. I feel a sob rising up in me and I know I can't control it. Your fingers push my chin up, forcing me to look at you.
When I see your eyes, looking at me with such tender love, I lose it. I start sobbing uncontrollably and would have fallen if you hadn't drawn me near to your body, holding me up. I can't tell you how long i have waited, longed for this moment. I draw back, knowing I don't deserve this embrace. I back away, feeling panicked, and you let me go. I fall bonelessly to the ground, and i simply kneel there for what seems an eternity. This is where I belong, here prostrated at your feet. Not in your arms, not feeling your love. Lower than a servant, lower than a worm... I hear you fall on your knees beside me, indefinitely more gracefully than I, I am sure. I again try to move away, away from the pure, perfect goodness of you. I am filthy, disgusting... so much shame. The tears begin again, this time tracking silently down my cheeks. What you did next amazed me then and it amazes me still.
You once more lifted my face to look into your eyes. You held up your hands, the scars clearly visible. My heart positively aches at the sight. "For you, beloved," you said with all the gentleness the world possesses. You know what I have done. Every single secret thing... Tenderly, you placed your hands on both of my now- wet cheeks and kiss my forehead oh so gently. I try to move away again but you held me still. I look deeply in your eyes, expecting revulsion and hate and rejection- for what else have I known- but see only love. For me. Me!
"How?" I whispered to you brokenly. "How can you love me?"
You smiled at me and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. "I gave up everything for you, my precious child," you said softly. "I love you more than you could ever know. I would gladly do it again, if only for a second of your time." I am floored by your words. How could you possibly... it's inconceivable! But you were not finished with your speech.
"I have waited for this moment for twenty years. I have longed to be with you, to hold you, and I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with you. I know everything you have done-" his eyes were positively piercing my soul, making me feel very exposed and vulnerable- "and i forgive you. My blood covered it all." With that, I looked down to see my formerly filthy- almost to the point of being black- robes were now a shimmering white. "You are pure." Those three words changed my life. I couldn't contain myself any more- I grabbed you in a fierce hug- the first of many. The love that I felt for you was so deep, so true, that I thought I'd drown in it. We hugged for a long time. When my hold finally loosened, I reached for your hand and you gripped mine tightly. I was finally home.
The End