SD doesn't belong to me. I know. Don't sue me. The lyrics is part of Rivermaya's Love to Share.
SUMMARY: How does a Shohoku Player find love and Happiness. Will he find one? And what would it take to have one? YAOI
DEDICATION: To Night Strider.
CRESTFALLEN
Prologue: Forlorn and Dismay ( part Song fic )
Another rejection.
"Tell me your joking?" The guy with glasses told me.
"Yeah, I am." I said covering up my embarrassment. I smirked. 'Honestly, no.'
"I thought so." He said, still a bit suspecting.
"I was just playing around, you don't really believe I was serious, right?" I laughed, trying to conceal what was left of my pride.
"Yeah. But don't say that again, somebody might misunderstand it, and take you as a.. ano... queer." He is more relax now. Back to normal.
"Like they have the guts to even think that way" I remarked, sicken at the possibility of being called a fag.
'If I could take over this world that we're in/ I wanna reach out to every human being./ I'll take all the sorrows from every goodbye /I'll shed all the tears so no one ever needs to cry /but..'
I know I don't have the power to be in control. I am weak. I make everyone gay. Even him, that's why I tried, but I didn't know that he doesn't want to be – happy.
"No I am not." He said while uncouthly changing his clothes in front of me. The sweat-soaked garment was like a second skin clinging to his body, taking it off showed how the super rookie molted and exposing the hot muscled chest beneath it.
"Really? You know, you could tell me if you're lonely. We're a team, right?" I said distracted by his flesh as I reluctantly joined him in shedding off those damp covering.
He gave me a confused look.
'How cute.' I thought.
"No, I-am-not-lonely." He said as a matter of fact, and hurriedly packed his things and went off to the door.
But then, he stopped and turned around.
I hoped as I gave him the most charming smile I could muster.
He lifted his right eyebrow then nodded his head and walked out.
'Was this another rejection?'
' Nobody cares for me nobody here needs me/ a love to share but, nobody dares/ nobody cares for me..'
When will I learn that I'm alone. I can't accept the fact that nobody feels the same as I do or even try to share it. I'm tired of looking. I'm tired of searching. The world is cruel to people like me, special people who need special care. Are there any person left for me to discover? Was there anyone for me at all? But if I give up, I won't know.
' I'll summon the oceans to drown every pain/ I wanna be shelter to the countless in shame/ erase every conflict from every divide /I wanna give every bit of me until I die'
"What? The Tensai doesn't feel bad, though Haruko's still shy about her true feelings for me. Nyahahaha" The red haired laughed naively.
"But what does it feel to be rejected" I tried to make the subject more serious. I knew he's a bit slow in picking up. A bit childish too, but I'm desperate.
"Nani? The MVP was rejected? Nyahahaha... Join the club!" I felt him patting me on the back. I tried to smile. His cheerfulness is so contagious that even my loneliness was overwhelmed.
"Yeah, we who had been dumped should be together!" I said triumphantly.
Silence.
"Are you hitting on me. Micchy?" He backed away slowly, as he tried to analyze the situation.
Not again.
TBC...
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04/12/05