I even Miss the Pickles

Arc #1, Waking Up

I'm waking up

To ash and dust

I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust

I'm breathing in

The chemicals…

I woke up in the wrong bed. My first thought was that I was kidnapped. My second, more rational, thought was that this was just an incredibly lucid dream. I couldn't decide which of the thoughts was more likely to be true, so I opened my eyes.

I was staring at a ceiling. There weren't any cracks, or cobwebs, so scratch the abandoned basement. I sat up, observing my surroundings.

The bed was in the corner of the room, which was large and square-shaped. A pink comforter lay on top of me, and I gagged; I hate the color pink. Despise it. Puke-worthy beds aside, the walls were also colored pink, and the carpet was a creamish color. I didn't know whose room this was, but their interior decorating skills sucked.

A TV was on the wall opposite the door, and in front of it lay a WiiU. A lavender bean bag chair sat in the corner, a desk in the one adjacent to it. Okay, I thought to myself, this was NOT a kidnapping hidey-hole, unless I was snatched by some sort of psychotic billionaire.

"River!" A voice yelled from what I assumed was downstairs. I didn't know who she was. Sure, I used it as my AKA name, such as in Pokémon, when InfiniteRiver just sounded weird. Then I realized.

I was in the Pokémon X/Y's main character's room. Same TV, same WiiU, same everything. Was I really IN Pokémon? I had no idea.

"River! Come on down!" The voice was more insistent. At least it didn't sound like some crazy male kidnapper with way too much testosterone. I decided to, very warily, head downstairs.

Halfway down the staircase, I tripped.

One moment I was ready to take the next step downwards, the next I had no idea which way was up, or down, or even where my flailing hands were. I screamed, and I heard a sort of trillish screaming along with mine.

The kitchen was right below the staircase, and I fell in, head over heels. And it hurt. I gasped, because it meant that I wasn't dreaming. Was I kidnapped in some sort of Pokémon replica world, maybe?

"Oh my goodness, River! Are you okay?!" The woman I assumed was my kidnapper stood over me, a giant semi-afro of chestnut-colored hair outlining her concerned face. I gasped again, because this woman was Grace from Pokémon X and Y, in the flesh and blood. And I think she was my mother.

"I'm fine. I've been through worse." It's true; I was in a nasty bike accident when I was nine, almost ten. I still have the scar on my knee.

"I know, but I can't help but worry!" This woman was simply OOZING kindness. "Fletchy, you're hurt, too!" She walked out of my line of vision (I was still lying down).

"Fletchy? Who's he?" That didn't sound like a puppy name, or a cat name. Did Grace have a bird? I sat up, trying to see what she was talking about. And I gasped for the third time in like two minutes.

Grace was holding the BIGGEST bird I had ever seen. Up close, I mean. Eagles and herons and stuff were bigger than that thing by far. It still cleared six inches, and the majority of birds in the world are maybe four or five, I think. "Fletchy, your Fletchling, remember? You've had him since you were five," Grace said.

"Fletchy? What were they THINKING when they came up with that name?!" I exclaimed. Really, that's like naming a parrot Parry. Or a goldfish Gold. Well, about the last one, quite a few people name goldfish Goldie. "I dunno, maybe Katniss, or I got it! Rue," I decided. It looked so much like a Rue.

"Katniss? Where'd you hear that from?" Um, okay, the majority of people in America know about the Hunger Games and Katniss. A lot in other countries, too. "Is that one of your 'things' you and your friends come up with?"

"Um, yeah, I suppose," I mumbled. If Grace, the famous Rhyhorn racer, didn't know about Katniss Everdeen, I assumed that she didn't exist in this world. So I really WAS in Pokémon. That was right about when I promptly passed out.

-'s POV

I dozed in my little grotto that I had claimed for myself around six months ago. Its diameter was twice as long as my body length, and was completely circular, save for a small opening a little higher than my head.

Breakfast was already eaten, in the form of several berries. I find it immoral to kill in the morning; at least let the prey have a chance for survival instead of killing it before it's even fully awake.

So I had nothing to do before waiting for lunch, which was still several hours away. Life before I had acquired the grotto was at least interesting; I would have gone back to it, except for the fact that I had nearly died about once a day or so. Better a boring life than one where death awaited at every step.

Sleeping was always an option, but I had chosen it before so many times. So, I decided to go out and fully explore. When I first arrived in the small forest on the mountain, I had gone straight into finding a home, and the nearest food sources. This was the best one I had. So I stayed here, using my nearby berry patches and hunting spots, and never saw the rest of this place.

I cautiously crept out of my grotto, sneaking an occasional glance left or right so as to not get blindsided. You can never be too cautious.

Nearing the edge of my territory, I slowed down, my head whipping around at the rustling of a single leaf. Once, I heard footsteps coming from my right.

It wasn't footsteps, it was a Spoink aimlessly hopping around. It saw me and started meandering towards me. I ignored it, since it posed no threat to me, and continued on my way.

At some point, I saw a glint of blue among the green of the trees. I headed for it, curious as to what it may be, and saw an amazing sight.

Blue. Nothing but endless blue. It covered the entire bottom half of my field of vision; the sky took up the other. It rolled and pitched, and was sometimes capped with white, like clouds, only they disappeared within seconds. I was tempted to somehow get down off the mountain and see what it was, and started picking my way along the edge of the forest, looking for a way down.

That all stopped when I felt a tug on my spine.

River's POV

I woke up on the sofa. I was convinced it was all some sort of hallucination, and managed to convince myself to only play Pokémon in fifteen-minute chunks. I wondered how long I'd be able to hold up to that.

"Oh my, dear, are you feeling well?" Oh no. I was stuck here. I don't think hallucinations stay through unconsciousness. But I'm not an expert on that sort of stuff. "River, are you ill?"

"I don't think so," I muttered, but I didn't know. Maybe having your mind teleported to another world gave you a temporary fever or something. "Maybe it's just nerves."

"It could be, the move is today," Grace said. The move? Then I remembered. The whole plotline of Pokémon X/Y started after the main character moved to whatsitville.

"We're moving from where to where, again?" I asked. May as well know what this town's name was, and where I was right now.

"Did you hit your head when you tripped over Fletchy?" I glared at her, nodding my head; couldn't I rename Fletchy Rue already? "We're moving from here, in Ambrette Town, to Vaniville Town, over in the southeast." At least I knew where I was. And I had a great idea when remembering the Routes nearby.

In my playthrough of Pokémon X, I had a Pokémon who wasn't my original starter, but was my favorite of the team. And I caught it on Route 8, which was just north of here. "Can I take one last look at the town before we leave?" I asked, hopefully I could, and have my #1 wanted team member before my journey officially started.

"Yes, you have the time to," my 'mother' said, "We're leaving in two hours. How about you go back upstairs and get dressed?" I nodded, and went up to my (hideous) room.

"Glad you won't be here when we… oh, dangit," I muttered; what would be my new room looked almost completely identical to the one I was in now, if I remembered correctly. They probably already painted it. I walked over to my full-length mirror, and gawped.

I looked the exact way I wanted to in my world. My typically crazy frizzy hair was smooth and straight, and was a shade or two darker, which was perfect. I twirled a little, looking at myself.

After getting dressed, I went over to my Grumpiggy Bank (that's just a mouthful, plus it looked stupid) and grabbed what I thought was the right amount for a couple of Pokéballs. I was out the door before you could say "Bye, River! See you-". I never caught the end.

I went to the Pokémon Center, and bought myself three Pokéballs. The guy looked a little weirdly at me, probably thinking that I looked too young. But money was money, and there was some SERIOUS inflation here. 200 Pokédollars for ONE Pokéball? Really? I could probably buy one in my world for fifty.

After ranting in my head about the currency here, I made it to the top if the stairway to Route 8. And I stared. And stared. And stared some more.

It was a forest. On top of a mountain. How the heck that works, I have no idea. Those trees were tough. And the first Pokémon I saw, a Drifloon, nearly scared me out of my skin.

It looked DEAD. I know it's a Ghost type, and most of them are supposed to be dead(ish), but still. That thing was barely dragging itself along by its… I don't know what. It looked ready to collapse at any moment. I was incredibly glad it wasn't the partner I wanted, and walked away, staying to the edge of the woods.

Walking along a cliff with hidden creatures who could push me to my death on my other side… Not my brightest idea. But it's better than being slain IN the forest, and people have survived falling from higher than the cliff's height. I was contemplating this logic when I saw it.

It was picking its way along the cliff, towards me, but was intently staring over the cliff to the sea below. "Beautiful," I muttered, never taking my eyes off it as I grabbed a Pokéball and unshrunk it. Okay, maybe the inflation wasn't so horrible here. The shrinky/growy thing must cost a fortune to do.

I threw the Pokéball at it, watching as it bounced off its head, sucking it inside. I stared in awe; that looked awesome. It wobbled, once, twice…

-'s POV

I didn't see anything.

Not black, nor white, but simply nothing. It was the most beautiful and horrible sight I have ever seen. I wanted out.

I strained against whatever kept me trapped, tensing my muscles. I felt something, and was relieved; it was better than nothing. I pushed harder, and heard a cracking sound.

The thing that had caught me in the nightmare had broken, its two halves lay in front of me, one red, one white. A voice rang out from behind me.

"Dangit!" It was said so that it sounded like a curse word. I had heard plenty of those before. I turned, and there was a Human behind me.

It had long, straight, brown fur atop its head, and had colorful… what's the word… I should know this…. Clothes! It was wearing bright, colorful clothes. In its hand was what looked like my prison, only in one piece. It threw it at me with its… a sort of paw… a hand. The trap hit me and I was sucked in again.

Getting out this time was a little more difficult. My strength was being sapped, and I knew I'd have to have a small miracle to be able to escape another.

Lo and behold, the Human had a third trap. It threw it at me, and I couldn't break free.

River's POV

My last Pokéball wobbled thrice (three times for all you non-fancy shmacy spreaking people), and gave a little click. I put my fist in the air, silently cheering. I didn't want to die when some vicious Pokémon heard me from inside the nightmare of a forest.

I walked over to the Pokéball, picked it up, and had a good look at it. It didn't look anything different with my new partner inside it, except for a sort of… aura? I dunno, it's not like there was something similar to this in my world, was there?

"Welcome, Absol, to my team," I said.

Author's note:

And thus ends the epic first episode of I Even Miss the Pickles, you'll see why I called it that in the next update. So yes, ninety-nine percent of the random personal bits are true, but no actual names. I know, the first "capture" sucked, but I know you all wanted to see the portrayal of me do SOMETHING noteworthy in the first episode ('cause I'm psychic). Even if it sucked.

I do have Pokémon X, and my favorite Pokémon is Dione the Absol, currently Level 63, I think. Lol, perfect world, amirite? Don't worry, things will NOT be Hakuna Matata for long (Fun Fact, I'm planning to name Arc 6 Hakuna Matata, they're all song names/lyrics).

For all of you who were wondering, - means the Absol's name is undecided.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokémon.