Alex rumchocolatesouffle told me to write this after I headcanoned sheer crack at her, thus this is all her fault.
"Aaaand...done!" Blaine grunted, setting down his last box of things in his and Kurt's (his and Kurt's!) bedroom in the loft. "God, how do bow ties even weigh that much?" he asked somewhat rhetorically, rubbing the sore spot on the small of his back.
"When you pack hundreds – literally hundreds – of them into one box, B, they pile up a bit," Kurt smirked from his spot on their bed. "C'mere," he said after Blaine pouted at him, "I'll rub your back for you."
"You're an angel," Blaine said, flumping facefirst onto the bed and scooting up to put his head on his pillow. "Never, ever leave me."
"I don't plan on it, honey," Kurt said, shifting himself so he was straddling Blaine's legs. "Now, let's remove this pesky shirt, shall we?"
Blaine felt Kurt untuck his polo from his pants and did his best to lift his torso upwards without dislodging his fiance. "Mmmm, planning to seduce me?" he teased once he was topless, reveling in his happiness at being in New York with Kurt (and Santana and Rachel, he loved them too) and in his excitement for the future.
"If you play your cards right," Kurt teased back, starting to massage over Blaine's shoulders. His hands were chilly, but Blaine was overwarm from moving and the coolness felt good against his skin.
Blaine moaned wordlessly as Kurt worked the kinks out of his shoulders and moved down his back. "Baby, you are magic, I swear. Is there anything you want? A pony? A lifetime supply of McQueen scarves? I'll make it happen," he babbled, muscles loosening and tiredness setting in, causing him to close his eyes. He felt Kurt stop massaging him for a second and couldn't hold back a whine.
"Shh, B, I'm just grabbing something from the drawer," Kurt said. Blaine heard their nightstand drawer pull open and Kurt's fingers scrabble through the inside, looking for something. A bottle top clicked open and its contents glooped noisily into Kurt's hand.
"I think I like where this is going," Blaine said, feeling his hormones crest.
"Oh, I bet you do," Kurt responded, and the flirty tone he used was going to kill Blaine someday if he wasn't careful.
Blaine felt something sticky being applied to his back and scrunched up his forehead in confusion. "Kurt, what's on my back? That doesn't feel like oil."
"That's because it's not," Kurt said, and his tone wasn't flirty anymore. In fact, Blaine would go so far as to call it creepy. "You said you never wanted me to leave your side, and this will ensure I don't have to."
"Kurt, baby, what did you put on my back?" Blaine asked, eyes flying open as he tried to keep the panic out of his voice. He didn't want to spook Kurt into doing something rash.
"Superglue!" Kurt giggled, and the innocence of that laugh compared with his actions made the hairs on the back of Blaine's neck stand on end. "Now you really are stuck with me!" Kurt continued to laugh, apparently impossibly amused by his own joke.
"Baby, please, stand up and- oh God!" Blaine cut himself off, feeling the weight of Kurt's torso press against his back. "Oh God, this is going to be so hard to explain at the emergency room. And to Santana."
"Oh, this is just the beginning, B!" Kurt chirped, nuzzling his face contentedly into the back of Blaine's neck. "I have thumbtacks, tape, and a staple gun in that drawer as well. They're never separating us again!"
Kurt's maniacal chuckles faded as Blaine finally awoke from his dream. It was 12:30 at night, according to the clock on his and Kurt's nightstand, and Kurt was clinging koala-style to Blaine's back, holding onto him fiercely.
"Oh my God, it was a dream," Blaine gasped to himself, working a hand free of Kurt's death grip to run it through his curls. "Holy shit." Normally, Blaine would never consider cursing, but this was an extenuating circumstance.
"Mmmmblaine?" Kurt questioned, smacking his lips together as he woke. "You okay?"
"I'm fine, baby. Go back to sleep," Blaine said, turning around in Kurt's arms so they could be face to face.
"Kay," Kurt said, placated and childlike, and burrowed his head down to snuggle into his favorite spot on Blaine's chest.
Blaine kissed Kurt's hair and petted slowly down his back in time with his breaths, feeling his heart rate calm as he did. "Love you," he whispered, closing his eyes and relaxing back into his pillows.
He understood Kurt's grunt to be an "I love you, too," and fell back asleep. The ensuing dream about meeting and singing with Katy Perry was much more pleasant.