A/N: A one-shot I started awhile back, I think it was written between 3.21 and 3.22, but never finished it till now. Anyways, enjoy.
Tortured Souls
The door slammed shut behind the last of the crowd that had just left the old gymnasium. Only one person remained behind. On the bleacher, he sat alone. Lost in a world of his own, he looked around the gym. Blue and white streamers outlined the railings. Confetti and a couple of posters littered the gym floor. The Ravens had just beaten the Bears and were now headed to the playoffs.
"There you are," she said as she re-entered the gym. "You ready to go?"
Lucas looked down at his girlfriend who had just interrupted his daydream. She had that look in her eyes again – a look of concern for him and look of sadness for herself. All she wanted was to be there for him but she knew that he would never let her in.
"I'll be out in a few," he sighed.
Brooke nodded and left. Before, she would have stayed with him and almost begged him to tell her what was wrong. She never got any answers from him. All she got was another fight. Now she didn't even bother. She just let him be.
Lucas stood up and walked to the middle of the court. He looked down at the school's mascot that was painted and waxed into the hardwood floor. Around the Raven's sign, he circled. Then, with his foot, he removed some of the confetti from the center of the circle and sat down. He missed it and desperately wanted it all back.
She was the last to emerge from the locker room. Peyton was surprised to see that she wasn't alone in the gym. She thought that by now everyone would have eagerly left for the celebratory party down by the beach. But what did she know? Ever since she had become a cheerleader, she had always been the first to leave once the final buzzer sounded. Tonight was a different story.
"Hey," he greeted.
He noticed her slight limp. His eyes stared at the scar just below her knee cap. The area around it was red. "How's the leg?"
"Sore…just spent the last thirty minutes icing it, but it'll be ok,"
"Well, you were great tonight…not bad for your first game back,"
Peyton shrugged. She didn't remember much of the game, except for the sporadic pain sensations she felt in her left leg every time she put too much pressure on it, "Just went through the motions, I guess,"
He nodded and let their eyes catch each others. As always, she cut it short, "I should get going," she said in a soft tone.
"Sit with me?" his voice seem to plead with her. "Just for a bit,"
She knew if Brooke would walk in they'd be in for another screaming match but the blonde didn't care anymore. He had always been there for her and she wasn't about to turn her back on him. With a nod she made her way back to him. Lucas smiled. He shifted over off the center of the court and placed his jacket on the other side of the half court line beside him for her to sit on.
They sat parallel and on opposite sides of the half court line. Their bodies faced each other. There were only a few inches between them, just as friends would casually sit. Nothing was said between them for a while. They were just two souls that could find comfort in the silence and although unwilling to admit, they found the most solace with each other.
He pressed his lips together before parting them again. "You know, during the game, I just pictured myself out there on the court…the game's on the line and I have the ball…"
"Oh, don't tell me you're reliving your rookie season,"
"What was wrong with my rookie season?" he scoffed.
She tilted her head and raised a brow. "First game of the season, you couldn't buy a shot…last game of the season, well let's just say…you still couldn't buy a shot,"
Lucas laughed. "Thanks for cheering me up,"
"Hey, misery loves company, right?"
She was always the girl on the outside looking in. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't tear down those walls. Brooke watched her ex-best friend and her boyfriend talking in the middle of the gym. She watched a smile emerge from his sullen face. He started to laugh and it sent daggers to her heart. It killed her to know that she could never make that boy she was in love with smile like that.
"You know, I get why I can't play anymore but…being here, watching from the stands…I mean I want to support Nathan and the team..."
"but it's a constant reminder that just teases you to no end. It's like you're haunted by it or something. I mean you're so close to it but at the same time, you know that you can't have it…" she let out a small bitter laugh.
He knew she would understand him. Only she would. But he was confused by her laugh. He crossed the invisible line between them and placed his hand just above her knee. She smiled at him and placed her hand over his. They would always be there for each other no matter what.
She gently gripped his hand and removed it from her leg and placed it on his own knee. Peyton left her hand on his for a few seconds longer before slightly putting pressure on it to help her stand up. As much as she wanted to stay, she couldn't and he knew it too. It was time to go. As she rose, the warmth of her hand slowly began to disappear from his. Just as her fingertips were about to leave his hand, he stopped them and held on to them.
Startled by the shiver he sent down her spine, Peyton looked back down at him while he looked up at her. Her eyes glazed over with tears as she looked into his lost eyes that were brimming with tears of his own.
"I miss him, Peyt," he whispered through tears.
She placed her free hand on his shoulder. Peyton knew the feeling all too well, but there was nothing that she could say to take his pain away because she missed both of her mothers just the same.
"I know," she said softly,
"Will the pain ever stop?" he asked.
Peyton couldn't lie to him. "The pain…not really…I always miss them, I wish I could tell you differently. You know, if I had the choice between dealing with the pain of missing them or not having any pain at all, I'd choose pain,"
Lucas looked up at her as she continued to explain.
"If I don't feel that ache in my heart, then it means that I've forgotten about them. And I don't want to do that. I want to remember every moment I had with them. Sometimes when I'm really hurting, I just think of something we did together and it makes it a bit easier, it even makes me smile sometimes,"
Lucas nodded, taking in what she was saying, "Remember when I told you that Nathan and I used to play in junior leagues together and the other kids made fun of me because they knew that Nathan's dad was also my dad?"
"Yeah," Peyton remembered the day her car broke down near on the curve on River Road, "You quit because you didn't want your mom to see Dan every weekend,"
"Well, every Saturday morning, when I was supposed to be at rec center, I'd go over with my basketball to the Keith's auto shop. He knew I missed playing but I had nowhere else to play. So one morning, I get up to go over but Keith is waiting for me outside in the truck. So I climb into the truck and he tells me that I'm not going to shop with him that day. He said that I deserved to play basketball just like every other boy and that no one should take that away from me. I told him that I didn't want to play in that gym anymore and he said that I didn't have to,"
Lucas paused for a moment. Peyton waited patiently for Lucas to continue. She could see a small smile to emerge from his face.
"About five minutes later we drive up to this old abandoned park. The grass is long but in the middle of the field is this basketball court. The lines are all faded and the pavement is all cracked. At the time, there were no rims, but just two old beaten backboards. He points to the back of the truck and I see two orange hoops, He turns back to me and says, 'What do you say we take your game back? It took us about week to get the whole place cleaned up but when it was done, I was so happy. I pretty much played on that court everyday,"
"He gave you the Rivercourt," Peyton smiled.
"Yeah, he did," Lucas smiled and nodded, He had forgotten how Keith would close up the auto shop early to take Lucas down to the court and how they would tell a curious Karen that they had a secret mission that only boys were allowed to know. Thanks to Keith, Lucas had a place to play and safe place, away from Dan Scott.
She nodded. "Keith is proud of you, Luke,"
"Thanks, Peyt. You know, they're proud of you, too,"
She smiled as her hand gave his a gentle squeeze before letting go but his hand seemed to hold on tightly to hers for a moment. Lucas didn't want her to go but then he caught a glimpse of the girl watching them from outside. Guilt, maybe shame struck him and slowly, he let Peyton slip away again.
It took everything in him not to watch her walk away on her own. The sound of her footsteps grew softer the further away she got. He hung his head and when he heard the door close shut, he was alone again. They were all alone.
Peyton, Lucas and Brooke. Three souls. Three tortured souls – longing for something they could never have.
