They're wrong about me. At least, I think they are. I have to assume, based on the way they treat me, that they see me as the idiot of the group, the extra when they all have solid roles; the Brain, the Muscle, the Leader... And then there's me.

I know I'm not the best fighter- I'm barely equal to Donnie, if that- and I know I'm not the smartest, although they act like I don't even have the potential to learn things, and I certainly realize that Leo is the only one of us fit to lead.

I think they underestimate what I do. They can't possibly think I'm just naturally happy and cheerful and goofy all the time, can they?

No. They have no idea what I'm like inside, because no one does. I'm alone, and I'm used to it, and I guess it's okay, because I know despite that, they still love me.

Sometimes I can't help it, and I, too, seem sad or angry or just generally in a bad mood. One guy can't be expected to keep his emotive mask on forever, right?

But most of the time, I'm the one lifting their spirits when they're down, I'm the one rallying them before a battle, I'm the one calming the tension when I see a fight brewing.

I'm the one cracking jokes in the face of danger.

I'm the one who volunteers as bait so my brothers can't get hurt.

And I'm the turtle who knows I won't always be there to protect them in my meager way, knows that I need to step back before it becomes too habitual to try.

I know that one day, one of them is going to be hurt, and I'll save them, but nobody will be there to save me.

I've accepted it, as much as you can accept your inevitable fate.

What is an appropriate thing to tell them before you go to your death? I haven't figured it out yet, and I might not have much time left.

"I love you,"- but they know that, just as they know Raph is the strongest.

"See you later,"- but that implies I'll be back, and I never know that for sure.

"I'll miss you,"- they can't know these thoughts even cross my mind. They absolutely cannot. It would ruin everything I've worked for.

"Remember me,"- again, they can't know, and I don't really care if I'm remembered. So long as I did my work, my legacy could be crumpled up, tossed at the trash can, and forgotten, and I wouldn't shed a tear.

I suppose there's only one word I could speak to express everything without giving any of it away unless they truly think.

One word. Whether I'm leaving for a long time, or just stepping out to get a quick pizza, I need to remember this.

I can't be gone without having told my family this. I won't allow it. Never in a million years.

So whenever I leave them, I must remember to say goodbye.

Sorry it's been so long since I published anything, guys. Computer trouble, you know.

Spewed this out in twenty minutes, so please don't hate on it. Constructive criticism is welcome, though.

Have a great Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates!

-Rose