Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto, though I wish I did. But I DO own my own Naruto Konoha headband. .
"You...are NEVER...having sake...AGAIN," Kisame said, staring wide-eyed at his Sharingan-eyed partner.
Earlier that day, Deidara, everyone's favorite bomb-happy Nin, had come in carrying an entire case of sake. Tobi, without realizing it, had challenged Itachi to a drinking game. The end result? They both ended up drunk off their psycho-nutso-rogue rockers. Not a pretty sight.
Anway, here is what happened...
Itachi and Tobi were both on their twentieth shots and finally starting to get drunk.
"I -hiccup- will win, Tobi-chan," Itachi drawled. "Do you know –hiccup- know why?"
"N...-hiccup- No, Itachi-senpai. Why?" Tobi asked.
"Because –hiccup- you lack...HATRED. Just like my chicken headed little brother...Um...What's his name? Sas...Sassafrass? No. Uh...Sasu...SASUKE! Yeah, that's it!" Itatchi exclaimed. "And you know what else?"
"What, Itachi-senpai?" Tobi asked, his eyes gleaming.
Itachi jumped up onto the table and started to sing.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt! So sexy it hurts!" he yelled. Every single ninja in the hideout sweatdropped.
Hidan, who was taping this, laughed. "Oh, this is great. Wait till they are sober," he said. His partner, Kakuzu, eyed the camera.
"Hey, how much did that cost?" he asked.
Hidan looked at him, "I don't know. Three hundred or so I think?" Kakuzu fainted.
And now, dear readers, we are back to where we started...
Itachi opened his mouth to say something else but toppled off the table. Tobi watched and had another shot of sake as Itachi just drank out of the bottle.
"Good one, Itachi-senpai!" he yelled. Then, he started to sing "I Will Survive".
Once again, everyone in the hideout sweatdropped.
Out of nowhere—quite literally nowhere, in fact, because there were no stereos or speakers in the hideout whatsoever—Latin music started to play and everyone looked up to see Itachi and Tobi doing the tango.
"Oh...brother," Kisame said, slapping his forehead.
Suddenly, there was a large explosion. Everyone ran outside and looked towards Deidara's workshop, which was now just a large billow of smoke and dust. Deidara walked out of it, coughing and carrying a bottle of sake. He was covered in dirt and ash.
"-hiccup- Hey, guys! Isn't art a...-hiccup-...bang?" he slurred.
"Deidara, you're an idiot," Kisame sighed. "You, Itachi, and Tobi are all idiots."
"Oh yeah," Hidan and the-now-awake-Kakuzu chorused.
Before anyone could react, the Akatsuki were all covered by a shadow. Zetsu had just returned from a mission.
"I haven't eaten in three days," the black side said.
"And I've just had the remaining bottles of sake," the white side said.
"And now," the black side continued.
"I'm going," the white side added.
"TO EAT YOU ALL!" both the black and white side said at the same time.
This announcement caused Deidara, Itachi, and Tobi to sober up completely. They, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu began to scream like little girls. The front door of the Akatsuki hideout slammed open as Zetsu descended down upon them all.
"AND JUST WHAT DO YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU ARE DOING? WHY IS DEIDARA'S WORKSHOP IN SMOKE? ZETSU, WHY ARE YOU EATING THEM? AND WHAT ARE ALL THESE EMPTY SAKE BOTTLES DOING LAYING AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE?" a voice boomed, from the door.
Everyone slowly turned, their faces frozen in fear. The leader of the Akatsuki was standing there in the shadow of the door, his eyes full of fury. All over the shinobi world, you could hear the most evil and most ruthless ninjas screaming like little girls as they ran for their lives.
And after that day, the Akatsuki was NEVER allowed to have sake EVER again.
A/N: Heya! Hope you liked it. It's crack-ish, yes I know. My friend Emily helped me when I got stuck on it. Well, review, please! Thanks and ja ne!