A/N: This is my first story so it may not be good. It is just a song fic (kind of). It's for the video of "Fuckin' Perfect" by P!nk. If you haven't seen the video go watch it. One-Shot.
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. The story is owned by P!nk (or pinks company who made it…?)
Summary: From a young age, Bella Swan was misunderstood and mistreated. As she grows older she tries to figure out who she is but others get in her way. (Rated M for good reasons, all human, canon pairings)
Bella POV:
I turned over in my bed after I had sex with my husband, Edward Masen, and all I saw was my childhood teddy-bear. He was sitting in the chair I had left him in after I took him out of the closet to give to my daughter, Renesmee Carlie Masen. As I looked at him, I had a flashback to when my life was just starting, yet it was being ruined very quickly.
4 year old Bella POV (Flashback):
I sat alone drawing some beautiful flowers, on paper Miss Anne gave me. I was sitting, alone, outside at a picnic table, while everyone else played on the play ground. Well I wasn't alone, I had my favorite teddy-bear with me. He was sitting next to me as I drew. I saw a movement next to me, it was really fast. I turned to see what it was and noticed my teddy-bear was gone. I almost started crying then and there. I turned to see who took it. It was that mean boy, James. He was holding my teddy-bear, my favorite person in the world. He threw him across the play ground.
He laughed in my face. "Ha, you don't have your little teddy with you. I don't see any other girl with a teddy bear here. I guess that's cause your still a baby!"James yelled at me while tugging on one of my pig tails that my mommy made neatly for me this morning.
"I am a big girl!" I yelled at him. I pushed him on the ground and sat on his back. I started pulling and tugging at his hair. He started screaming, all the other kids were looking at me in horror, scared of what I am doing to James.
Miss Anne come over and pulled me off of him. She pulled me to the side and started yelling at me for hurting him. I was misunderstood. I didn't do anything. He was the one messing with me. I just did what my daddy told me to do if anyone tried to hurt me. James was trying to hurt me.
7 year old Bella POV (Flashback):
I sat by the window and watched my neighbor, Emmett Cullen, having his birthday party. They had a bounce house. I saw Rosalie Hale and her brother Jasper. I saw Alice Cullen, Emmett's little sister. I saw Jessica and Angela and James and Mike and Victoria and Ben and everyone from my school. I wasn't invited. They didn't like me.
I watched Emmett talk to Rosalie. He looked up at me, and I ducked down just before he could see me watching him. I looked down at my hands. All I saw was paint on me. I looked over to the mirror and saw paint all over my face. I saw green on my cheeks and purple on my forehead. I had black under my eyes, but I couldn't tell if it was from paint or not. I looked over my painting. It was horrible. It was nothing close to perfect.
16 year old Bella POV (Flashback):
I looked in the mirror after I finished getting dressed. I had on fishnet leggings, boots and a goth girl scout skirt. I also had on a red tank top and my boyfriend's plaid button up shirt, unbuttoned of course. I had these purple fingerless gloves on. I had on lots of eyeliner, mascara and eye shadow. I also had deep red blush and lipstick. My hair was straightened and I had my necklace that my boyfriend got me. I looked HOT! I picked up my bag and almost walked out the door, but of course, my mother stopped me.
"Where do you think you're going, miss?" My mother, Renee, snapped at me.
"Oh, I'm going out to get more drugs, Renee." I snapped at her. "I'm going to fucking school like I go to every-fucking-day!"
"Not in that outfit." She yelled at me. I stared at her and almost started laughing. I walked out the door, but before I could walk all the way out of the house Renee grabbed my arm. "Go back upstairs and change into something appropriate!" She exclaimed as she yanked me up the stairs and into my room.
"What's wrong with this outfit? It follows the school dress code! You have never cared about what I wear until today! WHY DOES IT FUCKING MATTER?" I yelled at her as she looked through my closet.
She looked me straight in the eyes as she said "Because you look like a fucking slut." She threw me a pair of light-wash jeans and a baby blue peasant blouse. "You will put this on." She yelled at me before leaving me to change. I had no choice but to change.
Once I did I grabbed my bag and started to walk towards my car. Renee dragged me to her car and drove me to school while I protested using as many cusses I could think of. She went to work after she dropped me off. I went through the day normally. I went to my last class of the day. Biology. My teacher, Mr. Banner, passed back tests from the day before. I got an F. Not that I cared. I turned the paper to the side and doodled on the F. I changed it to a face of someone with buck teeth on the side of its mouth and lop-sided eyes, some curly hair and butt-chine was added for enhancement. After school I had to walk home because I didn't have my car and Renee had to work.
17 year old Bella POV (Flashback):
I was drawing, and then decided to scratch words into the floor to piss off Renee. I scratched in 'Skinny Bitches' and then finished my drawing and started painting. I looked at the time and noticed I was late for work. I ran downstairs and jumped in my car. I got to work and saw Rosalie Hale, Alice Cullen and Jessica Stanley trying on dresses, at Macy's, where I work.
I watched them as they picked out the dresses they wanted to wear to prom, which I was not going to. My boyfriend had broken up with me a few days before the holiday's dance in December. I got jealous so I looked for one of the dresses they were trying on. I found one, same as Alice's, in my size and went to the storage room for employees. I ripped the tag off and stuffed it in my bag, hoping I wouldn't get caught stealing it. As I walked out of the storage room, my boss, William Hale, Rosalie's father, saw what I had done and fired me. As he pushed me out of the door, Jessica pulled out her cell phone and recorded me getting fired and kicked out of the store. I looked at them and thought 'Fucking skinny bitches'
22 year old Bella POV (Flashback):
I stepped on to my scale. I had lost 50 pounds. Now I was 67 pounds. I contemplated this fact as I stepped into my filled bathtub. I sat down and started crying. I pulled out the knife I had brought and started cutting into my skin.
10 minutes later I looked at my finished work. I wrote perfect. Perfect was engraved in my arm. There was blood everywhere; in the water, on the wall, on my body, especially on my arm, the source of the blood. I felt pain thrive through my arm and devour my senses like I wanted it to. I lay down in the blood filled water and looked away. I saw my teddy-bear, from when I was around 3. It was sitting in a bin with magazines and newspapers, waiting to be read. I stared at the teddy-bear until it was time to get out of the bath.
I walked over to the counter by my sink. I picked up the scissors that happened to be sitting there. I picked up a strand of hair then put it against the scissors. All of a sudden I felt a piece of hair fall to my feet. I found another piece of hair still connected to my head. I cut it. I cut all of my hair until it was up to my ears. It didn't look half bad either.
I got out of the bathroom and sat in front of an empty canvas. I didn't bother to get dressed; I just sat there naked and painted the person I saw in the mirror. I painted a girl with long brown hair and different colored paint dripping down her face. She looked like a painter but she also looked like she had been crying because it looked like tears dyed with black make up, streaming down her face. That is how I saw myself. That is me. I looked at the painting and smiled. I knew I had paint all over my face right now, not in the painting, in real life. I didn't care. The paint on my face was who I was.
A few nights later, I went to a club. I saw my good friend, Pink, there. She was really my only friend and I wasn't even that close to her. But I waved to her then I went off and dance without mingling. Until I meet Edward.
Bella POV (Normal life):
I looked over and saw my husband sleeping. I looked back to my teddy-bear. I thought about my past. I thought about the pain I went through. I thought about everything. I looked at my teddy-bear again and realized it was time.
I got up and picked up my teddy-bear that I had loved so much throughout my life. I walked over to my daughter's room. I sat on Renesmee's bed and watched her sleep. 'My sweet, sweet baby. She was named after the 4 angels, Renee Swan, Esme Masen, Carlisle Masen, and Charlie Swan, in heaven watching over Edward, Renesmee and I. She is so beautiful. I love her so much.' I thought as I watched her. I placed the teddy-bear on her pillow near her arms and head. She reached out and grabbed it in her sleep. "You are perfect" I whispered to her as I watched her sleeping and dreaming beautiful and happy dreams.
A/N: This is my first fic ever! How was it? Review please! Tell me what you thought for a first shot at writing a fan fic.