Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)
DISCLAIMER² - Well, here's the surprise. A new fanfiction. I'm sure many of you are mad... Very mad. But I'd like to apologize, honestly. I've just been so excited to get this out and I didn't want to wait too long... Since I have been working on this for a while, I already have some chapters done, which I will be releasing every week (Except chapter 2, I'm releasing that tomorrow. Mostly because I'll be traveling on Labor Day weekend. Anyways, here's a more story-oriented note:
Note - Oh, gee. I bet you guys had no idea I liked Bob's Burgers, did you? Well, ever since last year I've been obsessed with the show (and in between that year, there was a period of about 5 months where I didn't watch it). I'm rewatching the show again and I completely forgot how good it was. I've been meaning to write a fanfiction about it, but I wasn't sure what I wanted the plot to be. That's when one day, I just thought "Hey! What if it took place in the future?" And BAM! This happened. Also, I apologize if I got any of the Belcher's previous grades incorrect. The way I see it, Louise is in 4th, Gene is in 6th,Tina is in 7th. I believe this because in the first 6 episodes, Tina was 12 while she was still going to school, but later becomes 13. Also, Tammy was 12 when she came to Wagstaff but later became 13 at her Bat Mitzvah (considering she is a Reform Jew). Just like all my other fanfictions
(And please excuse any grammatical/spelling errors! I didn't have anytime to read this over! ;_;)
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this new fanfiction! I present to you...
Bob to the Future - Chapter 1: Back to School
It's amazing what 5 whole years can do to a person
Ah, the Belcher's. The classic All-American family. Well, not really. Actually, not at all. The Belcher's weren't exactly what people would call a "normal" family. It was almost anything but normal, but that's the charm of it. The Belcher family wasn't recognized for many things, but one thing they were greatly known for was serving appalling "food" that could make an onion burst into tears. A pretty good description of the cuisine there would probably be the equivalent of choking down raw fish lathered in kitchen grease, toilet water, and other miscellaneous fluids. You could only find food like this at Bob's Burgers
It's almost hard to believe a restaurant with such... "interesting" meals would still be open after 5 years. From being accused of stuffing their burgers with human flesh to nearly finding a ghost below it, Bob Belcher has done it all. Speaking of the infamous chef, how about we go see how him and his family are doing?
"Uhhhhhhh..."
"Tina, come on. It can't be that bad"
"It is that bad, dad!"
I'm sure you can guess who this dialogue is between. That iconic groan wouldn't fool anybody. Yes, it was Tina Belcher, the oldest daughter of the Belcher family. She was currently doing her signature groan with her face rested on the counter of the restaurant and her back slumped over. 5 years is a long time, but that didn't change the Belcher's we knew and love one bit. At least, not in personality. But phenotypically-speaking, these guys have changed
Let's start off with who we were previously talking about, Tina Belcher. She was now 17, but not for long, seeing as her birthday wasn't coming up in too long. But honestly, Tina probably changed the least in looks out of her 2 siblings. She still wore her thick horn-rimmed glasses and yellow barrette. However, her hair grew somewhat longer, now reaching her shoulders. She wore a light blue turtleneck sweater, a slightly longer navy blue skirt, white knee high socks, and her usual black Converse sneakers
"I can't go back to school! Not now!" Tina exclaims, but in her usual monotonous tone. She proceeds to groan a second time, only this time, more obnoxiously
"Why not, Tina? Sure, school is pretty awful, but after nearly 12 weeks of staying at home, you start to miss it! Sort of like that one turkey leg I left in the fridge because of how bitter it tasted, but after a while, I thought, 'Hey! What's the point of wasting it if I'm just gonna end up eating it again later?'. So then I ate it, and man, did I not regret a single second of it!"
I'm sure you can easily guess who that is also. Who else compares everyday situations with food? Gene Belcher, that's who! The middle child of the Belcher family
Gene was now 16, but still kept his usual immature and lively personality. Gene's changes were slightly more apparent than his sisters. First off, he grew, and I mean, a LOT. He's already 6 feet, almost pushing 7. He's still somewhat chubby, but with a slightly more fit build than his previous one. His hair, especially his bangs, have become a lot spikier and he grew a small soul patch under his lip. He wore a yellow Hawaiian shirt covered in gold-colored flowers, and he also wore loose jeans and red Converse sneakers
"Hey, I think I've got a song for that feeling!" Gene says, pulling out his blue Casio keyboard. Yup, not even 5 years could break those two apart
"I can't even blame Tina! I don't wanna go back to school either, let alone start high school! Who's dumb idea was it to make high school anyways? I gotta start bringing an ax to school to show those teachers a lesson!"
And who could forget the youngest, yet most conniving Belcher child, Louise. She was now 14 years old at this time. She was still the sadistic little tyrant she was 5 years ago. She was the more thinner of the Belcher kids, and nearly as tall as her older sister. She obviously still wore her pink bunny ears and still refused to take them off. They got slightly worn out over the years, but nothing too bad. Her hair grew much longer, and she wore it in a ponytail rather than two pigtails. She now wore a navy blue hoodie, strikingly similar to the one she had worn 5 years ago when her bunny ears were stolen. She also wore a plaid skirt with short black leggings under them and in stead of her usual flats from 4th grade, she now wears Converse sneakers, very similar to Tina's
"Hey, Hey, No axes, Louise. You already got sent to the guidance counselor's office millions of times in the past due to 'physical confrontations' and I don't need you there another time for axe murder"
"Yeah, kids! You should be excited! It's the start of a brand new year! Woo-hoo!"
If you couldn't guess, those last two remarks were from the owners of Bob's Burgers, Bob and Linda Belcher respectively, and can I just say that the years had been somewhat kind to them. Linda at age 49 and Bob at 50, the two hadn't quite hit "senior citizen" levels of old yet, but that still didn't mean there weren't a few grey hairs here and there. Besides that and some other various facial changes, they looked nearly the same. And now that we've finally finished our physical changes, let's commence the story!
"Hell, if anyone should be excited, it should be you Louise! You're starting high school this year! Yay!" Linda cheered, clapping
"No! Boo!" Louise yelled angrily "I don't need any of that high school drama in my life! I hate growing up!" She crossed her arms
"Growing up isn't so bad, Louise!" Gene began "You discover new things everyday! New thoughts, new ideas, new hair that you never knew existed in certain areas!"
"Gene" Bob simply said, glaring at his only son
"Hey! It's true!" Gene added
"Come on, Tina! Brighten up!" Linda said, patting her oldest daughter on the back "School can't be that bad!"
Tina finally raises her head "School's not the reason I'm sad!"
"Then what is?" Gene asks
"Jimmy Jr! It's been a whole 3 months! What if he's already found a girlfriend by now?" Tina feared
"Jimmy Jr? Girlfriend?" Louise asks "Those are 2 words you don't usually hear in the same sentence"
"I'm sure Jimmy Jr hasn't gotten a girlfriend yet, Tina!" Linda reassured her
"Besides, what do you even see in that kid? Need I remind you he's the spawn of our worst enemy?" Bob reminded his daughter
"Our worst enemy? We couldn't care less about him! You're the one who's obsessed with the guy" Louise says
"For the last god damn time, I am NOT obsessed with Jimmy Pesto!" Bob insisted loudly
Tina then proceeds to pull out a long paper, full of pi charts, graphs, and other miscellaneous charts "Last week I started listing off all the girls in Wagstaff High School that could possibly be in a relationship with Jimmy Jr and their chances of being in said relationship with Jimmy Jr-"
"Wait, wait, wait, you actually took precious time to CALCULATE the results of Jimmy Jr being taken?! Come on, Tina!" Louise hissed
"And the final results stated that there was an approximate 79.6767 repeating percent chance that he'll be taken!" Tina complained "12th grade is gonna be awful!" She continues her distressed moaning
"You're overreacting, Tina! I'm the one that should be scared!" Louise griped "At least you'll be done with high school after this year, and you won't have to worry about school ever again!"
"Um, Louise. I think you're forgetting college" Tina tells her little sister
"WHAT?! THERE'S MORE?!" Louise screams, shooting her hands in the air "Well, I'm sure after that I'll be done with work forever..."
"Then there's getting a life-long career, paying taxes, getting married, having children..." Bob continued
"LA LA LA LA!" Louise yelled, covering her ears, trying to ignore her family
"And Gene, aren't you becoming a junior?" Bob asks
"Oh, please, dad. I'm anything but a junior at this point. Just look at me!" Gene responds. No matter how old Gene was, he could never stop being so dense
"No, I mean a junior in high school. Like, how Tina's a senior?" Bob explains
"Tina? A senior? No way! She looks so young and fresh!" Gene compliments his sister, still not understanding what his father was trying to tell him
"Oh, thank you" Tina says, looking up at her brother
"No, I mean- ... Forget it..." Bob says, getting impatient
"Aw! All my little babies are in high school! They're all grown up!" Linda gushed, hugging all of her kids "I think I'm gonna cry!"
While Tina and Gene shared the same mutual admiration towards the hug, their sister did the complete opposite "Agh! Get off me!" Louise complained, trying to escape her mother's grasp, but it's no use
"All of your lives are gonna be changing drastically, you know?" Linda says
"Ugh, don't remind me.." Louise groaned
"Tina, you're at the end of high school, and afterwards you'll be going to college! Woo! Frat parites! Aren't you excited?" Linda cheers in her usual enthusiastic tone
"Not really. That means I'll have to move away, and I'll miss you guys" Tina admits
"Don't worry, Tina! We'll always visit you! Especially at the most inappropriate times!" Gene reassures her
"Thanks, Gene" Tina simply says to her brother
"Anytime!" He replies, grinning
"And Gene, the age 16 also comes with several responsibilities and opportunities!" Linda adds, "It won't be too long before you start driving!"
"Sweet! Driving!" Gene exclaims "I can't wait to hijack cars like they do in the movies!"
"No hijacking, Gene" Bob says "We don't need any of our kids in jail. Besides, I always thought Louise would be the first one of our kids to end up in jail"
"And speaking of Louise, aren't you excited for your first year of high school? Yay! My little Louise is becoming a woman!" The mother excitedly says
"Ugh! No! I am NOT excited!" Louise whines, crossing her arms
"Oh, come on, Louise. High school isn't as bad as people make it out to be" Bob says "Yeah, there's drama, angst, awkwardness, hormones, puberty, and- oh my gosh high school was awful"
"I KNEW IT!" Louise yelled, shooting her fingers straight at her father in an accusing manner "Can't we just tell the school that I got a 4 year long fatal disease that's completely incurable and contagious. Also, tell my college professor that I once again have gained the same fatal disease for the same amount of years. And then tell every boss in the world that I have that disease, yet again, for ETERNITY!"
"Don't worry, Louise. High school isn't all that bad" Tina says "I like the drama and hormones. It's perfect friend fiction material"
"You still write those stupid friend fictions?" Louise asks "Even after you completely humiliated yourself in front of the entire school by reading it? If I were you, I'd probably stop. And also probably bury myself for as long as I live"
"I can't blame Tina for still writing those friend fictions! I'd be a hypocrite if I say it's ridculous, since I still play my keyboard!" Gene says, pressing a key on his Casio which made its signature fart sound effect "I'll never stop making these funky tunes!" He continues to press the keys of his instrument, laughing as another different sound was played
"Hm, guess we all never really grew out of our old habits" Louise shrugs
"Well, you all are bound to sometime" Bob says "I did. Seriously, I don't want Gene to be in his mid 40's still making fart sounds on his keyboard"
"No promises!" Gene yells, pressing yet another key that makes a fart noise, causing him to giggle and his father to groan in annoyance
"Hey, what time is it?" Linda asks herself, looking around for a clock. Once she catches a good glimpse of it, she screams "8:45?!" In an alarmed tone "You kids need to go to school now! Before you're late! Come on, come on, chop! Chop!" She tries to scurry her kids out of the restaurant
While Tina and Gene start picking up their backpacks, Louise merely groans in anger
"UGHHH" Louise griped "I wanna stay hoooome!"
"Come on, out, Louise! Before I get the broom!" Linda threats
"No! Not the broom! ANYTHING BUT THE BROOM!" Gene frets
"Bye, mom and dad" Tina says, putting on her backpack "I'll always miss you, and I'll never forget you guys"
"Tina, you're just going to school" Bob sighed, slightly irritated. He'd always loved Tina, but sometimes the way she exaggerated certain situations got on his nerves
"Bye guys! Don't get anymore grey hairs while I'm gone!" Gene says, waving to his parents
"Ugh... Thanks, Gene..." Bob says, placing his hand on his forehead
"And don't die from age either!" Louise adds, just before leaving
"WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ALREADY?!" Bob yells, causing them to quickly exit the restaurant
"They aren't wrong, Bobby. You're really old!" Linda says, facing him
"Lin, I'm a year older than you" Bob says
"In dog years!" Linda replies, cackling obnoxiously, as Bob merely rolls his eyes at her
The 3 Belcher children are now walking to school, like they usual do as a mode of transportation
"So, where's Wagstaff High School again? Is it close to Wagstaff School?" Louise asks her siblings "I just wanna know beforehand so I can make sure if I wanna take a rest stop on the way there or save it for class
"It's not too far from Wagstaff School" Tina answers "Just a few feet from it, honestly"
"It's like they're older and younger brothers!" Gene says
"Well talk about a sibling rivalry" Louise says, crossing her arms
As the siblings walk to their destination, they start to pass Wagstaff School, signaling that they weren't too far from the high school
"Goodbye, old friend!" Louise mourned, waving sadly at her previous school "I'll always miss you! And hate you!"
"Don't worry, sis! Just do really terrible this year, and hopefully they'll send you back a grade!" Gene suggests
"Thanks for the offer, Gene, but I'm not pussying out that quickly!" Louise says with a face that can only be a mixture of determination and pure rage
"You didn't seem to mind to fake a disease to get out of going" Tina responds. Of course, not in a sarcastic, satirical manner
"Well, now, Tina. Does this concern you?" Louise asks her older sister, placing her hands on her hips
"I just figured because-" Tina began, but was cut off by Louise shushing her by placing her finger on her lip
"Shh, shh. The big kids are talking right now, Tina" Her sister says
"But I'm the oldest one he-" Tina begins, but is once again cut off by Louise shushing her
"Shhh..." She said
"But-"
"Shhh"
"I just-"
"Shhhhhh"
"Can I please-"
"SHHH!"
There were a few more seconds of silence as they continued walking
"So like I was saying-" Tina says, but once again being cut off
"LOOK, LOOK! WE'RE HERE!" Louise obnoxiously shouted, pointing frantically at the school building, hoping that would finally shut Tina up, and sure enough, it did
The 3 kids gazed upon the large building. It didn't differ much in height from their previous school building, seeing as that school was already much too large for grade school. Heck, probably the only noticeable difference from the two schools would be the sign in front of the building, with this one reading "Wagstaff High School", and also a large banner reading "Welcome Back!", but that was probably only because of the new school year. New and old faces already began piling into the building with schoolbooks and backpacks
"Oh, wow. The school looks so pretty with that banner" Tina comments "And now time to do what I came here to do. Find Jimmy Jr" She begins to do her signature run to the school building, keeping her hands in place and slowly moving her legs forward, but is halted by a certain guidance counselor
"Slow down there, Tina" He says, putting his hands in front of her "Before any student goes in the building, a school roll call is mandatory"
"But I need to get in to find Jimmy Jr! This is an emergency!" Tina begs
"Unless it has to do with your own physical safety, I'm afraid you'll have to wait" He adds
"It does have to do with my own physical safety! My heart's gonna be shattered in a few minutes if I don't get in there!" Tina argued, still keeping her quiet tone. She then falls to the ground and moans in distress
Louise and Gene rush over to the door where their sister had collapsed
"Mr. Frond?!" Louise exclaims at the counselor "What the hell are you doing here?! Don't you teach Wagstaff School?"
"He's been working here ever since last year!" Gene explains "And man have the years been well to him!"
"Well that explains why I never saw you in 8th grade" Louise says "That also explains why my detentions were way more limited than they were before"
Mr. Frond looks at his student roll call checklist and searches for this kids' names "Belcher... Belcher... Belcher... Ah-ha! There you 3 are. Gene, Louise, and Tina Belcher. Let me just check off your names and you're good to go" He pulls out his red pen, clicks it a few times, and starts writing
"Can we go in now?" Tina desperately asks, lifting her head from the ground
"Hm, looks like my pen's out of ink" Mr. Frond says "Silly me! Let me just look for another one" He slowly begins digging into his pockets "Hm, I believe I have some in my office, let me just get them"
Tina, now insanely impatient, pulls out her own pen, snatches Frond's checklist, checks off her siblings name, and begins running into the building "I'm coming, Jimmy Jr!"
"Hey! Wait up, T!" Louise calls out, following her sister
"Me too!" Gene screams out, following them
While the 3 siblings pile in, Frond pulls out another pen "What do you know? I did have another pen!" As another student approaches the door for check in, Frond begins writing "Wait, this isn't even a pen! It's lipstick! Ha ha!"
"Why would you have lipstick in your pocket?" The student asks, looking at the counselor
"..." Frond quietly stands there, shifts over to the side, and then starts full on running into the school building panting, leaving the student there to merely shrug and enter
Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! I tried as hard as I could to keep them all in character XD