CLOSER…
Summary: Alone in the Grimmauld Place library, trapped in his blasphemous thoughts, does Harry finally realize how his presence affects Hermione. She shows him exactly how…
Slight AU, as in, Sirius and Remus didn't die, they have small roles, EWE (Epilogue, what epilogue?! This has to be my favorite genre of stories!). Shamelessly hhr! Contains lime… Actually, its somewhere between a lime and a lemon. Not extreme smut but not too less either!
Disclaimer: Blah Blah Blah, do not own the characters or the song, blah blah blah…
CLOSER… Part one
It was 3:15 p.m. A hot summer afternoon in London. There was no one at Grimmauld Place except Harry, and perhaps Kreacher who was working in the kitchen, preparing for a party which was to be held the next day at Harry's home. Sirius and Remus were at work. Hermione was at the ministry and Ron, at the burrow. Harry would have been at work too had it not been for the fact that all the auror trainees had been given three days off to research antidotes, counter spells and counter jinxes to some of the most commonly used harmful spells and incantations which could cause very serious harm if not looked to immediately.
After the war ended, Harry did join the auror department at the ministry but not as soon as everyone thought. He took a year off to get over all he had to face since as long as he could remember. For half of the year, he stayed at Grimmauld Place with Sirius, Remus, Hermione and Ron, enjoying solitude and freedom with his family. Lazy afternoons, drinks at night in pubs or the kitchen, weekend lunches at The Burrow and alone time, without any worry, with Ginny bored him a lot sooner than he expected.
So, he decided to go round the World. He visited innumerous beautiful places along with his girlfriend, Ginny. Italy, Switzerland, China, India, Malaysia, Australia, even USA, but he was back home, quick to realize that a life without any sort of purpose wasn't for him.
Much to the displeasure of Ginny, they returned home and Harry decided to finally join the Ministry. Hermione had already started work at the Department for Magical Law Enforcement and Harry was impressed by her progress. She had already been successful enough to gain popularity and support for her bill to enforce House Elf rights. Of course he had always supported her even though he and Ron had always found her attempts to free house elves extremely funny but she had shown them both up! And Sirius too! Even he had made fun of her and Remus when he decided to help her and now, he had to be nice, albeit grudgingly, to Kreacher.
Ginny had not at all been happy to return. Harry had gotten together with her after the war as everyone, even he himself expected. He had wanted the same normalcy and a felling of contentment that he had experienced with her during his sixth year. He had been with her for two years. Had tried his level best to regain his feelings for her, but had failed.
Ginny had not taken the breakup well at all. There had been tantrums and arguments and threats and pleas in the Grimmauld Place but Harry couldn't do it again…
The reason what he believed to be true was that Ginny had brought a slight relief, a break in his life from the seemingly never ending but growing alarmingly dangerous rat race with Voldemort. Now that the threat was no more, there was no need for a temporary respite. The kind of peace that he sought, what he experienced around Sirius, Remus, Ron and Hermione was not what he got with Ginny. She did not understand him well, not the way Hermione and to some extent Ron did. Her solution to every problem had been snogging, and more of it. She was yet to grow up… This was one of the reasons he broke up with her but dare not voice it out loud.
Mrs. Weasely had not believed them at first. She had always thought that she would get her one big happy Weasely family in the end with Harry marrying Ginny and Ron, Hermione. She had treated them as little children who were just upset and would make up soon, despite Harry telling her the opposite. What finally made her face the truth of their breakup was Ron and Hermione's breakup.
Even though Harry would admit it over his dead body, he always knew, deep, deep down inside him that they would not work out together. Whatever their friends said, they were too different to understand each other the way two people in a relationship should. Ron had wanted the limelight and fame that came with being a war hero and a Quidditch player later on. He wanted to go to parties, celebrate everyday and have tons of fans and his girl by his side. Hermione, much like Harry had wanted stability. They wanted totally dissimilar things from life…
They had fought, badly, even when they were together. Their arguments weren't small, friendly bickers anymore. Ron wanted her to pay more attention to their relationship rather than her job. Hermione couldn't believe how Ron could even think that she would leave her job, something she had always believed in and wanted to do just to become someone who could accompany him to all his parties. It was out of question for her and it was this decision of hers that led her to break up with him. Their break up was pretty recent and Hermione refused to talk to Ron. But even a blind man could see that Ron was still in love with her.
This was bad for Harry.
He had fallen for the same girl…
It was not a recent development. Perhaps it had always been there. Yes, Harry was sure he had always loved her. They had been best friends since they were eleven and Harry had treasured her ever since. Only the intensity of his love and his own perspective regarding her had changed. He had at all times, thought that he loved her like a brother. Never having a sister, he didn't know how it was supposed to feel like…
But what he knew for sure that his relation with Hermione was nowhere like what Ron had with Ginny. Ron and Ginny did not touch each other to give support and to empathize the way Harry and Hermione did. They never looked at each other with acceptance and adoration the way they did. Ron and Ginny didn't understand each other completely and accurately the way they did. In short, what Ron and Ginny had, a sibling relation, didn't come anywhere near what he had with Hermione… Then how could he call her, his sister!
Harry couldn't believe how long he had been in denial when he finally realized he loved her. By then, his feelings had become so intense, had grown to such an extent that his heart ached excruciatingly when she was hurt or afraid. It had all struck him the night when he broke up with Ginny…
It was around two in the night and he was sitting on the sofa in the living room of the Grimmauld Place. He had broken up with Ginny that night. She had screamed at him for what felt like ages calling him stupid and selfish, coward and a lot of other things. He could pretend that did not affect him but that was all it would be, pretense. Sleep was miles away, not even trying to come near and he had lain down and closed his eyes only to give them some rest when he heard very light footsteps as if someone was creeping by him. Thieves were out of question. It was curiosity that forced him to stay the way he was.
It was Hermione, in her blue colored, duck print pajamas. She had come down with his blanket and was about to put it on him when she stopped and stared at him and then, with half a smile, asked him to get up if he was not sleeping. Harry sat up, wide awake of course and asked her, scratching the back of his head what she was doing, up at such an ungodly time.
"Couldn't sleep." She replied simply.
"Really?" He asked her, skeptical as he knew that she was a heavy sleeper and did not suffer room any sort of insomnia or sleeping disorders.
"OK, fine!" She exclaimed, half annoyed, half defeated. "I came down here to check on you. And you didn't disappoint me either. Wallowing away like that in self pity."
He stared at her incredulously. "Hermione, I broke up with my girl friend of two years today! I broke her heart and hurt her!"
"I think she did that more than you." She replied sharply. "Seriously, I never thought Ginny would react like that. I was shocked!"
"Join the club…"
"Oh Harry, it'll be OK! Cheer up!" She said stretching up on her toes as high as she could and lightly ruffling his disheveled hair.
"Hermione! I can't just switch off the gloomy mood and switch on the happy and gay mood!"
"Wow! You should've at least told me…"
"What?"
She answered back with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, "That you played for the other side!"
"…… Har har! I can hardly breathe for laughing…"
Hermione threw back her head and laughed at his sarcastic reply and then proceeded to pull him towards the kitchen where she then set him down on one of the chairs, opened the pantry door and pulled out a full chocolate cake with ice cream on the top and two spoons. Harry stared at the heart attack on a plate with wide eyes…
"Hermione, Sirius, Ron and Remus would kill us if we eat all that by ourselves…"
"Don't worry, it would be for a good cause!"
"What good cause?" He asked, staring at her as she sat down beside him.
"Why, cheering you up of course!" She replied, digging her spoon deeply into the cake.
"C'mon, you really think this is gonna cheer me up?"
"Harry, she said seriously, "You clearly underestimate the power of sugar and comfort foods. Now open up…" and then, she stuffed the spoon in his mouth…
Harry couldn't help but groan as the delicious food entered his mouth. He closed his eyes and savored it, licking his lips for some left over cream. Then promptly opened his mouth for another bite, expecting his best friend to feed him! This was too funny for Hermione and she laughed, loud!
Harry opened his eyes and looked at her laughing. It suddenly hit him, how beautiful she looked as she laughed. A slight flush on her cheeks, head thrown back, revealing a long white neck and her curly hair, almost reaching her back flowing spiritedly. How her laugh brought a sense of warmth and contentment in him. How he suddenly had a very strong urge to hold her in his arms and never let go… It would be later, when he would be in bed, would he realize how much in love with her he always was and would forever be…
Harry was jolted back from his musings when the heavy book he had been holding in his hand dropped on the wooden floor, producing a very loud sound. He had been doing this since that fateful night. Getting lost in his own thoughts. This habit of his had further irritated Ginny and Mrs. Weasely when both of them had separately, tried to talk sense into him. It was due to the combined efforts of Sirius, Arthur Weasely, Ron and Hermione that she had finally let him alone.
Ron had not been happy with Harry when he had broken up with Ginny but he didn't judge him, and for that, Harry could not be thankful enough. Hermione had always supported his decisions, no questions asked. His own behavior towards Hermione did not change much, he had always cared about her a lot but a sense of gratitude was also added to the adoration he already held for her.
But, he couldn't help but intervene when Ron and Hermione broke up. It had killed him to see them together, literally. To see them kissing and him feeling her up made him furious, both with Ron and himself. But he couldn't do anything. What he could do was to try and protect the girl he loved from the hurt she suffered whenever they fought. To satisfy his conscience, he had talked with Ron and told him it was wrong of him to ask her to give a second seat in life to something she had always wanted to do but even he could see that Ron and Hermione had reached an impasse, at least for the time being.
He couldn't have been happier when they officially broke up for it actually broke his heart to see Hermione crying and because he would finally have a chance with her, but for the fact that Ron confided in him that he still loved her and would wait for some time and try to talk things with her again. Whatever Harry wanted to do, he couldn't betray his best friend.
So he went back to repressing his feelings. And it was not an easy task. He tried to get a new girlfriend but ended up comparing all the girls he met with the girl in his heart. Needless to say, he didn't remain with a girl for more than 3 weeks. He tried sleeping with them but it was only a brief interval to the pain in his heart, who told him continuously that he was with the wrong girl…
He was the first person she came to when she had to talk or share her successes, failures, fears and moods. He sometimes thought he saw more than just friendship in her eyes when Hermione talked to him. Her embraces and kisses on the cheek, lingering a moment longer than they should but knew it was his own wishful thinking… Hermione would return his feelings in some alternate universe, far away from his own reality. And even if she did, Harry was bound in his friendship with Ron, even though he wasn't living with them, majority of the time. He and Hermione couldn't be together, they would let down a lot of people…
Remembering that he still had work to do and only another day left of his official leave, harry took off another two equally heavy and leather bound books, similar to the one in his hand and brought them towards a desk facing the huge windows, which Sirius had installed for Remus and Hermione as they were the ones who would be found in the dreary and old library if not in their rooms. They all could comment on it negatively but the library was good! Hermione had nearly drooled when she had seen it in its grandeur, which it had been returned to, courtesy Kreacher. And it was undoubtedly pleasant sitting near the window on the huge mahogany desk. Harry was almost sure that two people could sleep comfortably on it!
Unexpectedly, Harry heard a loud crack, stumbling feet and a crash just outside the library door. Knowing undoubtedly, who it would be, he rushed out of the library and saw Hermione on the floor trying to gather her books and cursing mildly under her breath as her hair started to come out of her chignon. She was starting to get up, not an easy task as she was probably hurt and was wearing pencil fit skirt, reaching her knees. It was tight enough to make getting up difficult, though, she did look lovely in the gray skirt topped with a peach colored silk shirt, slightly wincing as her elbow hit the stack of notes and books that had made her lose her balance. Harry immediately bent down and helped her straighten up and then waved his wand, making the books float inside the library gently.
She was still wincing.
"Are you hurt?" He asked her, taking her hand gently and bringing her inside.
"Not much." She replied, only too happy to sit on a chair he made appear, waving his wand behind her. "My ankle hurts though…"
Harry bent down and looked at her right ankle which was red and swollen by now. It was clearly twisted. He sighed and brought out his wand once again and healed it in a trice.
She sighed too and leaned back on the conjured chair, closing her eyes. "Thanks Harry, I really love you!"
His heart almost stopped at hearing those words come from her mouth. Deeming it wise to change the subject, he asked her, "What are you doing here at this time anyways, weren't you working in the ministry archives today?"
"Yeah, found all the notes and books regarding my subject."
Harry looked towards the books that were stacked on the table in the library. It would be an understatement to call them huge. No wonder the girl had twisted her ankle while apparating with them. He was only thankful it was nothing more.
"Those weapons of mass destruction?!" He asked her, half incredulous, half amused. Hermione only rolled her eyes and got up off the chair and went towards the stack, checking them for something and making the conjured chair disappear wandlessly. She never failed to amaze him!
"You call these weapons of mass destruction?" She called back once she counted the number of books, "You should see the ones Draco took home!"
Harry's blood boiled. It was one thing respecting his best friend's wishes but another to see her talk of any other man with any amount of adoration, intimacy or familiarity. And this was Malfoy!
Draco Malfoy had joined the DMLE as well, almost at the same time as Hermione. Though they had been ready to curse each other at first, they had grown into tolerance and then friendship, surprising everyone who knew them. Even God could come down and tell Harry that Malfoy had changed but he didn't want him within a ten mile radius around her…
"So it's Draco now?" He asked in a hard voice, coming to stand right behind her. "Not Malfoy anymore? Are you best buds now?"
Jealousy certainly was a bitch!
"Honestly Harry," she said, not turning back to face him, "It's all professional! We are colleagues. And to be frank, he is not that bad a person you and Ron make him out to be. He's really funny and sarcastic, not to mention intell-"
She broke off as she turned around to find Harry only inches away from her. He could see the slight flush in her cheeks, hear the hitch in her breath as she lost thread of what she had been saying and downcast her eyes when what she saw in his eyes almost scared her. Harry stepped another step forward.
"Hermione." He called softly, urging her to look in his eyes again. She did. "I don't like him near you. I don't trust him near you. He could do anything…"
He knew it had been the wrong thing to say when her big deep beautiful eyes hardened and narrowed towards him. She took a step back and inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down. And then stared back at him.
"What do you think he's going to do Harry? Take advantage of me? Let me tell you one thing! I can take care of myself! I have a wand and a brain you see!"
She was glorious in her anger, undoubtedly! And she wasn't finished yet.
"Since I have known him, he has not, even once insulted me by calling me rude names. Annoyed yes but insulted, not even once!"
"But Hermione-" He tried to cut in…
"But what Harry?" She replied shrilly. "Let's get this out straight today!" She took another deep breath. Harry wanted nothing more to do except tuck her wild escaped curls behind her ear and hold her in his arms till she calmed down but her angered state made him a little apprehensive. He knew what she was going to say next…
"Harry," she began again calmly but her eyes still held the anger she felt. "This is not just about Draco. It's about every wizard I meet. You don't like them…"
Sure enough, thought Harry. He had never been discreet about his dislike for the wizards of her acquaintance.
"I don't like them because they are not good enough for you Hermione! I cannot bear to see you hurt! And I am determined to never let anything happen to you and you can't fault me for that!" Harry replied just as aggressively.
"Don't you see! It's you who is hurting me Harry! Don't you want me to be happy? According to you, who is good enough for me Harry? Ron? Is that it? Are you trying to keep me away from others for him? Unused or something? While you and him have your own fun, why am I not allowed? You, Harry date a new bimbo every two weeks but become apoplectic when I so much as stare at another man…" She stated cruelly.
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Over his dead body would he keep Hermione for Ron. And even though becoming apoplectic was a bit of an exaggeration, he did not date bimbos. And he never ever wanted Hermione, his Hermione to be unhappy. He was ready to die for her happiness. How could she stand there and make comments like that!
"Whatever you may think Hermione," he finally replied bitterly, taking a step back from her and looking straight at her distraught, angry and glassy doe like eyes. "I have never wanted you to be unhappy. I swear I would do anything for you. You have no idea how much I—" He broke off, aware that he had finally said too much. Hermione's changed expression said it all.
"What Harry?" She asked urgently, stepping towards him and shaking his arm. "I have no idea about what?"
"Nothing…"
"Damnit! For once, why can't you tell me?"
"Stop it Hermione! I can't OK!? You seriously have no idea how much you affect me! You have no idea how much I want to—"
The disbelief, incredulity, frustration and something else in her eyes and expressions made him stop.
"I have no idea Harry?" She let out finally. "I will tell you how much you affect me!"
The next thing Harry knew, he was pushed roughly towards a huge armchair, upholstered in the softest velvet. It was a gift Harry had gotten Hermione once when they had been in muggle London and she had looked through a shop window and fallen in love with the armchair exclaiming passionately to a deeply amused Harry, how she would love to read on it in the library. Of course Harry had bought it immediately! It was a huge armchair. Supposed to be for one but two people could very easily fit on it, side by side, and it was long enough for a person to lie down…
Half sitting, half about to fall off, he didn't realize when Hermione started kissing him. He felt her lips on his own. It took him about five seconds to understand what was happening and about five hundredth of that time to start kissing her back. It was undoubtedly the best experience of his life!
She was still kissing him urgently, her teeth nibbling, not gently on his lower lip and her hands stroking his upper arms and gently sliding upwards, cupping his cheeks. Harry's one hand was on her waist, the other in the process of unraveling her chignon, letting free her hair which fell around them, intensifying her own beautiful scent of apples. Harry licked the seam of her lips and took her lower lip between his and started sucking on it.
He thought he would actually die when he heard her moan…
Being with Hermione was electrifying, rejuvenating and elating. He couldn't believe this was really happening! Hermione was lying almost on top of him, now kissing the edges of his mouth, hot open mouthed kisses while his hands brought her closer, closing round her small waist possessively. He kissed her one last time on the mouth and moved down to her beautiful long neck. It took him seconds to find her pulse point and he sucked hard on it and bit it, then soothed it with his tongue and kissed the place he had marked gently and repeatedly till she started trembling.
And then, she all of a sudden pulled away.
"I think, Harry, you have no idea how it feels. How you affect me. I'll tell you exactly how…"
Ok, this is gonna be a two shot. I have most of the second part written. It would most probably be posted by tomorrow evening. I was gonna make it a one shot but it would seriously have become toooo long! PLEASE let me know how you found it! Reviews make my day! Next chapter is going to bring action like you've never seen before! I had lots of fun writing it! Hope you enjoyed reading!
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