AN: Hey, guys sorry I haven't written in so long I had computer troubles.
I do not own Harry Potter nor any of these Characters.
This is a non-sexual fanfiction about Severus' thoughts and feeling regarding Lily and her death. This takes place in Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts.
One day
The dark dungeons were dark and cold; the flame from the candle was his only light in the dark room. Severus Snape was an emotional mess on this
was the anniversary of Lily's death .Even after all of these years it still hurt. Her red hair still haunted his mind and wrapped itself around his very soul.
He knows that blaming James for her death is not fair but he still does. If James had not gotten Lily pregnant, if they had only waited, Harry would not have been
the chosen one and his love would still be here. They could have made up, they should have made up for their stupid fight but now it is too late. His life is
controlled by his love of Lily and the protection of Harry.
The night that Lily and James died Severus walked into the house, past James' body and up the stairs to Harry's room. Lily was a wonderful mother and he
knew this is where he would find her. In her last moments, she would have defended her child. Her small frame was sprawled on the floor in front of the crib.
The room ripped apart and exposed to the elements .Time was lost as Severus sat on the floor holding her body and crying. Baby Harry was crying in the
background ,his chubby face beat red with a small amount of blood on his forehead. A flutter was heard behind his head. Severus turned around and saw a
paper bird waiting for him to grab it. He opened the note and in Lily's perfect writing, she asked him to watch over Harry. She knew Sirius would do something
stupid if they died, Peter hasn't bothered with them much in the past few months and Remus can't because of his condition the ministry would never allow it.
Out of everyone, she asked him. In the note, she told him that she was sorry they hadn't made up and that she loves him dearly as a friend. The note was
charmed to find him if she died.
Severus knew he had to leave soon. If he was found his reasons for being here would be heavly questioned. He gently placed Lily on the floor where he found
her. Walking over to Harry's crib, he picked up the small child and held him. Soon the baby stopped crying. It tore his heart apart to put the scared baby back in
his crib. Harry was reaching out to him upset and on the verge of tears again, confusion in his little eyes. Slipping out of the room, sneaking into the night he
left with a loud crack. Moments later Hagrid appeared to take the child to his Uncle and Aunts home.
Staring at the flame in his room on this cold night years later, he wondered to himself if he made the right choice leaving. He should have stolen Harry and
raised him as his own, it's what Lily wanted. He had heard of the abuse the child had suffered at the hands of those muggles. The child came back to school
every year looking thinner and more exhausted with the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders. Over the years, he hasn't been kind to Harry he
wasn't allowed to be on the chance that the Dark Lord would return. It hurt too much to look into Harry's eyes and be reminded of that little baby he had to leave in
his crib. Eyes like his mothers the same eyes and viewed Severus with value and warmth when they were kids. The role he had to play was getting tiring; all
he wanted to do was live his life without the fear of getting caught In Dumbledore's web of lies. He wanted to fulfill Lily's wishes. He thought about Dumbledore
, a hateful old man that cares nothing for Harry and that poor child so starved of love buys into the lies. Severus had been lost in his thoughts, reliving the past
that when he checked the time it was half past eleven. With a sigh and a heavy heart, he got out of his chair and prepared to do this wandering of the halls
looking out for troublemakers. With his robes billowing behind him, he shut the door to his person rooms with a snap.
Tonight was a busy night so far he had taken 50 points and given a dozen of detentions with Filtch .Near the room of requirement, he found Harry. Turning the
corner of the castle hallway a smirk graced the thin lips of the potion master.
"Well, well what do we have here Mr. Potter? Out of bed at this late hour, does our local celebrity think he is too good to follow the rules? "
For once the Potter boy did not take the bait and simply apologized for being out of bed. This shocked Severus. The boy is usually rude and quick to fight.
"Hmm well I will take you back to your common rooms. Knowing you, you would get lost along the way"
After dropping Potter off and going back to his rooms he changed and climbed into bed. One day he would tell Harry the truth and one day he will tell Harry
how much his eyes remind him of his mother. Just not today.