The Queen's Revenge

by EGB Fan

The Ghostbusters' daughters disappear shortly after the arrival at the firehouse of an unusual chess set.

1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This story is OC-heavy. The Spengler twins were created by Fritz Baugh. Charlene Zeddemore was created by Fritz Baugh, and developed by Fritz Baugh and myself. Kaila Zeddmore created and developed by Fritz Baugh and Brian Reilly. All other original characters are mine (mine, I tell you!).

Ghostbusters: The Queen's Revenge

Chapter 1

'You know what you are, Egon?' said Peter Venkman. 'You're a glory hog. Poor little Lucy. No one's interested in seeing her now.'

'Of course they are,' said Egon. 'I'm sure that old thing will lose all its novelty once she arrives. I didn't think people were going to find it half as interesting as they seem to be. I didn't even really think anyone would notice it.'

'How could they not notice it? It takes up practically the entire kitchen table, and you know if any of the kids come here after school they head straight for the kitchen.'

In fact quite a crowd had amassed around the kitchen table, leaving Egon and Peter on their own in the rec room.

'I just didn't think it was that interesting,' said Egon. 'I'm only mildly interested myself, and I can't even tell them very much about it yet.'

'Egon,' said Peter. 'It's not the history - it's the novelty value. Just looking at it is much more fun than listening to whatever stories are behind it.'

'For you, perhaps.'

'Well, it kept me distracted for a minute or two this morning, even though it's not very shiny. Oh, look, speaking of kids coming here after school. Hello.'

'Hi, guys,' said Charlene Zeddemore, as she appeared at the top of the stairs.

'Hi, Dad, hi, Egon.' Jessica Venkman was behind her.

'Well, look who tagged along,' said Peter. 'Hi, Hayden. Do you remember Egon?'

'Vaguely,' said Hayden.

'Egon, do you remember Hayden Wallance?' asked Peter.

'Vaguely,' said Egon. 'Hello, Hayden. It's very nice to see you again.'

'Where is everyone?' asked Charlene. 'I thought Lucy was going to draw a big crowd.'

'Oh, she has,' said Peter. 'They came for the baby, but they're staying for the chess.'

'What?' said Jessica.

'Come and see it if you want to,' said Egon, making his way into the kitchen. 'Everyone else seems to be enjoying it immensely.'

Peter, Jessica, Charlene and Hayden all followed him into the next room, and found themselves on the outside of a crowd slightly too big for the space available, all looking at an elaborately carved chess set that did indeed take up practically all of the table. The only one not interested in the set was Slimer, the resident pet ghost, who was emptying the fridge. When the new arrivals entered, however, he flew over to them and gave Peter an enormous hug.

'Off!' said Peter, pushing him away. 'I guess I asked for that - I don't know why I even came in here. I'd introduce you, Hayden, but you'd only get slimed.'

'Slimer, perhaps you'd better go and watch out for Grace and the children,' said Egon. 'There are rather too many people in here already.'

Slimer agreed, hugged Hayden anyway and then flew from the room, followed by the raging voices of both Peter and Jessica.

'How many times, Slimer?'

'You're completely disgusting! Mind you,' said Jessica, looking at Hayden, 'in your case it's an improvement.'

'I know,' said Hayden, as Charlene handed him a tea towel. 'Thank you, Charlene. You didn't have to yell at him - I don't mind.'

'Sure you do,' said Peter.

'Do I?' said Hayden. 'I didn't realise. Anyway, the chess set's worth it. That is nice.'

As well as being striking in its size, the set was unusual in its materials. The pieces were carved from what looked like oak and pine, and therefore not drastically different in their colouration. They were set up on their board, which was also made from those types of wood, each representing a detailed character of some kind.

'Hey,' said Peter, 'does everyone remember Hayden?'

Everyone answered at once, their responses ranging from yes to no, and everything in between. All the yeses came from the adults in the room, whom Peter decided to introduce first.

'As you may remember, Hayden,' he said, 'this is Ray, Winston, Eduardo and Roland.'

They all exchanged polite hellos.

'I guess the kids don't remember you so very well,' Peter went on. 'This is Chita and Rose - they're Eduardo's daughters - and this is John and Eden. They belong to Egon. And Janine. You saw her downstairs, didn't you?'

'Very much so,' said Hayden.

'Everyone, this is Hayden, Oscar's half-brother. He's going to be here all school year. You met him once, a few years ago.'

'About six, I think,' said Hayden. He looked at the dark-haired, brown-eyed, sullen-faced girl wearing black. 'I'm not surprised you don't remember me, Rose. You were only three. I remember that, because someone told me you were exactly ten years and one day younger than me. So you must be nine now. That's right, isn't it?'

'Yes,' said Rose.

'Thought so,' said Hayden. 'That's maths.'

He was met with several blank stares.

'You'll get used to his British sense of humour,' said Peter. 'Well, some of you. Maybe.'

'Oh, don't worry, I shouldn't think you'll see that much of me,' said Hayden.

'Well, that's too bad,' said the other dark-haired sister, whose name Hayden hadn't quite caught, and could not for the life of him remember after six years. 'It'd be nice to see you sometimes. I remember you from that New Year's Eve party - you were really funny.'

'Was I?'

'Yes, you cracked me up!'

She was smiling a dimpled smile that went all the way to her enormous green eyes. Hayden tried to decide whether she was really as pretty as she seemed, or whether it was just the effect of her high, sweet voice; of her fashionable, pink-heavy clothing; and of her well maintained, carefully styled hair.

'Well,' said Hayden, in response to her comment, 'I do my best. Sorry, dear - what's your name again?'

'Chita,' she said. 'It's Spanish, short for Conchita.'

'Oh, I see,' said Hayden. 'Great name. Sorry to be so uncultured. We don't really get a lot of Spanish speakers where I come from.'

'Call her Connie if it's easier,' said Rose, with a slight edge to her voice. 'She's started going by that now.'

Peter raised his eyebrows. 'You have?'

'Only at school,' said Conchita. 'It's not a big deal.'

'It goes better with Britney and Amber and Ashleigh and stuff like that,' said Rose. 'My sister gets to junior high, and she starts hanging out with all the airhead Barbie dolls.'

'Rose,' said Eduardo. 'Be nice.'

'That's okay, Daddy,' said Conchita. 'I am an airhead Barbie doll,' and she gave her sister an affectionate squeeze that only made her scowl deepen.

'So,' said Hayden, 'what do I call you?'

'Chita,' Conchita said. 'Everybody in this room is to keep calling me Chita. You're from London, right? Oscar's told me all about it - it sounds really cool. I'd love to go there someday. I really like your accent, by the way.'

'Thank you. It has been going down rather well here. You Americans are much more impressed by it than the girls back home.'

At this, Conchita started laughing, and said, 'I told you he was funny!'

'Is it true that all English girls are ugly?' asked Jonathan Spengler.

'Certainly not,' said Hayden.

'Where exactly in London are you from?' asked Eden, the blond-haired, long-limbed girl who had barely been able to take her eyes away from the chess set.

'The posh bit,' said Hayden. 'Near the river.'

'Perhaps you'll show me on a map.'

'Ooh, and show us a picture of your parents' house!' said Conchita. 'Oscar says it's really, really nice and it looks like a dollhouse.'

'What an odd comparison for Oscar to think of,' said Hayden. 'He's right, though, it is nice. It's a Georgian townhouse - everyone loves those. I'll show you on Google Maps, if you can bear to stop looking at the chess. Where did it come from, anyway? Something like that would cost a mint at Covent Garden Market. You should go to Covent Garden Market if you're ever in London, Chita - you'd love it.'

'Oh, I will!' Conchita said with enthusiasm.

'I found it at an antiques fair,' said Egon. 'The dealer offered me a good price, so I bought it. I just thought it was interesting.'

'It is interesting,' said Ray. 'I've never seen a chess set like it! I hope we can find out who exactly those oak pieces represent. The pine pieces are clearly Romans, but they invaded so many settlements, the other side could be practically any race in Europe.'

'From their appearance,' said Egon, 'and from what the seller told me about the set's history, I'd say they're intended to represent one of the tribes of Ancient Britain.'

'Britain, huh?' said Winston. 'Maybe Hayden knows what it is.'

'Oh, I shouldn't think so,' said Hayden. 'I don't know the entire history of - actually, that looks like the Iceni tribe to me.'

Everyone stared at him in blank amazement, including Winston, who hadn't been at all serious in his suggestion.

'I might be completely wrong,' Hayden went on hastily. 'It's just that the queen looks sort of like Boudicca, and those are women in the chariots, aren't they? I don't want to sound sexist, but probably not a lot of women fought the Romans, but Boudicca did, and she had two daughters, so that could be them. I guess the king is meant to be her husband, but if he is that's historically inaccurate, because he was dead before the rebellion started. In fact, it was his dying that caused the whole thing, if I remember rightly.'

Everyone continued to stare at him. Then Peter said, 'Oh my God, you're a geek.'

'How very dare you!' said Hayden, smiling crookedly. 'Everyone knows about Boudicca. She's really famous. People from my mother's generation call her Boadicea, because someone read it wrong a long time ago, but now everyone seems pretty sure it's actually Boudicca. I did a school project on her when I was seven. She and her troops destroyed Roman Londinium - we went on a school trip to see where she'd been.'

'Well,' said Ray, 'if she was as famous as that, it stands to reason that her tribe would be the one immortalised in a chess set.'

'Actually,' said Egon, 'now that you mention it, Hayden, the name does ring a bell. I think I might have heard her referred to as Boadicea.'

'I'm glad you've heard of her at all,' said Hayden. 'She was brilliant. It works out quite well that the queen is the most powerful piece.'

'Did her tribe really fight with chariots, Hayden?' asked Eden.

'Definitely,' said Hayden. 'I don't remember that much about it, but I do remember that they had chariots. Well, I know Boudicca had one herself, anyway.'

'The chariots are particularly interesting,' Eden went on. 'Not a lot of people know that the term "rook" actually evolved from the Persian word "rukh", meaning a chariot. Most people don't even seem to know they represent chariots at all, even though other cultures' versions of the game include chariots quite openly - without giving them cryptic names, I mean. Persian chariots were elaborately decorated to look like small, moving fortresses, and that's how the castle design evolved.'

'Is that what they're teaching child prodigies nowadays?' asked Jessica. 'Real useful, Spengs.'

'I found that out independently,' said Eden, 'when I was learning how to play chess.'

'I never knew that about rooks,' said Hayden. 'That's very interesting. It sort of makes sense that they move in straight lines, I suppose. And it makes sense the knights jumping around, because they're on horseback. I'm not sure about bishops moving diagonally, though. So, do you guys want to look at pictures of my mum and dad's house, then?'

'Yes,' said Conchita. 'When's Lucy getting here, Roland?'

'Soon,' said Roland.

'Who's Lucy?' asked Hayden.

'Roland's baby,' said Conchita. 'She's like a month old, and her mom's bringing her to meet people today. I've already seen her loads of times, but I want to see her again. Do you like babies, Hayden?'

'I expect so,' said Hayden. 'I don't really know any.'

'You'll like Lucy,' Conchita said. 'She's so cute!'

'I'm sure.' Hayden looked at Roland, and smiled. 'Congratulations.'

'Thank you,' said Roland.

'That's why I wanted to come here, Hayden,' said Charlene. 'To meet Lucy.'

'Me too,' said Peter.

'And me,' said Ray, just as Winston said, 'Same here.'

'Really?' said Eduardo. 'I thought at least one or two of you were here on shift.'

'Of course not,' said Peter. 'Come on, Hayden - let's go see your parents' house. I sometimes used to wonder what it was like.'

There followed a mass exodus from the kitchen. Most people went, either because they were genuinely interested in Hayden's parents' house, or because they thought they might as well look at it while they waited for Lucy. Only Winston, Charlene and Eduardo were left behind. Eduardo, who had not been particularly interested in the chess set in the first place, went into the next room to look for school correspondence in Rose's book bag (she seemed to think it beneath her to act as courier for her school). Winston decided to take the opportunity to catch up with his daughter, and made them both coffee.

'How are your new classes?' he asked.

'Good so far,' said Charlene. 'They should be interesting. A couple of them have some Peter Venkman on the reading list.'

'Really? I thought Peter's fellow psychologists didn't think much of his work. He doesn't even seem to think much of it himself.'

'Well, a lot of people don't think much of Freud either. Anyway, what do you think about Hayden? He's in my criminology class - we found each other last week before Jess even had a chance to introduce us.'

'What was he doing in your class? I thought he was a year below you.'

'He is, but they let exchange students take pretty much whatever classes they want, since they're going to be gone in a year.'

'Makes sense,' said Winston. 'Well, he seems like a nice kid. Pete always said Hayden was his favourite of those Wallances.'

'He's not shy, is he?' said Charlene. 'I know Chita doesn't mind leaping into conversation with strangers, but then he talked to Eden just as easily, and not everybody can do that. I like Hayden - I wish Jess wasn't so mean to him. I thought she'd grown out of that, but the three of us all had lunch together today, and it was like we were twelve again.'

'Maybe you should tell her that.'

'I have. She says Hayden doesn't mind.'

'Oh. Well, I guess she knows him better than you do.'

'I guess so,' said Charlene, 'because he really didn't seem to mind. I guess he might have just been putting on a brave face - I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it all out.'

'Still? I thought you'd understand everyone by now. Or do we have to wait until you graduate?'

'Dad, I will never understand everything Jessica does. I don't think anybody will.'

'Hey, you guys.' Conchita appeared in the doorway. 'Lucy's here.'

.-.-.

Roland's wife Grace had brought Lucy, as promised, as well as their two-year-old son Adam. She hadn't particularly expected to find a big crowd of people in the firehouse foyer, but there they were, so Lucy was passed around Janine's desk. Conchita held her with an expertise beyond her years for a good five minutes, before passing her to Janine and then going to fetch Winston and Charlene. No one thought to introduce Hayden to Roland's family until Adam asked who he was.

'I don't know Oscar as well as these guys do,' Grace said, once Roland had made the introduction. 'He was already off being a famous musician by the time I showed up. I've met him a few times, though, and Roland took me to an early Mood Slime concert when we first started dating. I understand he used to go out with my sister-in-law.'

'So he did,' said Hayden. 'We used to see quite a bit of AJ in the mid-noughties. How is she these days?'

Grace found herself filling Hayden in on the life and times of Amy Jackson, while Roland absorbed the praise and congratulations offered to him on the strength of his daughter's cuteness.

'She's adorable, Roland,' said Ray. 'I think she looks like you. What do you guys think?'

'Well,' said Winston, 'Adam looks more like Grace, and that sometimes seems to happen with two kids - each one looks like a different parent.'

'She's very well behaved,' Peter remarked.

'She's asleep,' said Roland.

'You're lucky. I don't remember Jess ever being asleep at that age.'

Jessica had separated herself from the group, and was entertaining Adam with some of the toys that had found their way to the firehouse over the years. Rose had taken over Hayden's seat at the computer, and was scrolling around the London Borough of Kensington and Chelsea via Google Maps, with both of the Spengler twins looking over her shoulders.

'It's a very pleasant area,' said Eden. 'Hayden was right about the architecture - it does have a certain appeal.' She looked over her shoulder. 'Hayden, are these houses along the Chelsea Embankment Georgian too?'

'Let's see,' said Hayden, peering over Rose's head. 'No, those look Victorian to me.'

'You are a geek, you know,' said Peter.

'Show us the grubby areas farther north, Rose,' said John.

'No,' said Rose. 'I'm going to Covent Garden Market. Don't you want to look at Lucy?'

'I've seen her,' said John.

'I had a good look at her when Mother was holding her,' said Eden. 'She isn't very responsive yet. I'll be interested to see her again in another month's time. I think I'll go and have another look at the chess set.'

.-.-.

'You should see Hayden's parents' house, Daddy,' Conchita said, leaning over the back of the couch and wrapping her arms around Eduardo's shoulders. 'It's really nice. I wish I had a Georgian townhouse in London.'

'Is that why you're cosying up?' Eduardo asked. 'You know I can't afford to buy you one, querida, but if I could, I would.'

'I'm cosying up because I love you, Daddy.'

'Oh, good. I love you too.'

'Can I have a sleepover next weekend?'

'Is that all?' said Eduardo. 'Of course you can. We'll check with your mom, but I can't see anything wrong with next weekend. I take it you're inviting the Ashleigh and Amber and Britney crowd?'

'Daddy, their names are Claire and Libby and Sarah and Annabelle. And Ashleigh. But yes, that's who I'm inviting.'

'What would you like us to call you?'

'Whatever you like,' said Conchita. 'Within reason. My name isn't a secret or anything. It doesn't bother you, does it, my new friends calling me Connie?'

'No,' said Eduardo. 'I always knew it might happen someday. In fact, when you were a baby, I even said we could shorten your name to Connie if it made things easier.'

'You did? Why would you say that?'

'I don't know. I felt like I should. I'd already gotten my way once. But I was calling you Chita anyway, and your mom liked that better, because she said Connie was too grown-up. I was glad about that. I wanted you to have a Spanish name to annoy Carlos.'

'Is that the reason?' Conchita asked. 'Really?'

'Well, partly.'

'So what about Rose? I guess her name was pretty clean cut.'

'It was. We hardly talked about that at all. Your mom said she wanted to name her after her Grandma Rose, and I said fine.'

'She won't like this sleepover idea.'

'No,' said Eduardo, 'but it won't kill her.'

'I'll feel bad, though, if she's very against it. I don't like upsetting her. Do you think she's been extra grumpy since school started back again?'

'I was wondering about that. I can understand her not wanting to be back at school, but maybe she'll feel better when she gets back into it. Why don't I go downstairs now and lay the groundwork for this sleepover of yours?'

At this point Eden appeared at the top of the stairs, on her way to take another look at her father's chess set.

'Hi, Eden,' said Conchita. 'Don't you just love Lucy? Isn't she adorable?'

'She does have a certain appeal,' said Eden, forgetting that she had used this exact phrase to sum up the Georgian architecture of London. 'And Grace looks well, doesn't she? I seem to remember that it took her a while to recover fully from having Adam. I do wonder how she felt after she had Natalie, but I don't like to ask.'

'You can ask me anything you want when I have babies,' said Conchita, 'if you're still interested. Someday I'm going to have lots and lots of babies.'

'You are?' said Eduardo.

'Yes,' Conchita said, 'but it won't be for a few years yet, Daddy. Hi, Charlene.'

'Hey.' Charlene had appeared at the top of the stairs. 'I'm just passing through. I have to wash some mugs before Janine sees them.'

'What makes you say that?' asked Eden.

'If people don't clean up after themselves,' said Charlene, 'she leaves threatening notes on the fridge. Don't you remember her doing that?'

'It's been a long time,' said Eduardo. 'We've all been real well behaved. Chita, do you think you should come and talk to your sister with me, or do you want to wait here?'

'I'll stay,' said Conchita. 'I've already had her getting at me about my new friends today.'

.-.-.

Down in the foyer, Grace had begun breast-feeding the newly awakened Lucy, and was conversing with Janine and Egon. Peter kept his back firmly towards them and talked to Roland about sleepless nights, bottle feeding and how to keep small boys from murdering their baby sisters. Ray and Winston seemed to be leaving, and John and Rose were still entertaining themselves with Janine's computer. Jessica was tidying up the toys she and Adam had been using, as Adam had found a new playmate in Hayden, who was crawling around on hands and knees with the child on his back.

'I hope Hayden doesn't mind Adam doing that,' said Roland.

'Of course he doesn't,' said Peter. 'He's used to abuse. He got it from Jess growing up.'

Eduardo arrived then, almost tripping over Hayden on his way to talk to Rose. He spoke to her in Spanish, and whatever he said caused her expression to darken.

'You've got it all to come, kid,' said Peter. 'Tantrums, fights, school trouble, puberty, boyfriends, girlfriends…'

'We're going through most of that with Nat right now,' said Roland. 'Or at least Grace is. I don't know quite how involved I should get. Spence really has all of the dad stuff covered.'

'Is Natalie with him now?'

'Yes. He has her for the weekend.'

'Well, I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't know anything about having a stepchild whose father gives a crap. But we all know what I think about Andre, don't we?'

'It has been mentioned once or twice,' said Roland. 'How do Hayden and his other kids like him?'

Peter shrugged. 'Fine, as far as I can tell, but I haven't seen Andre and his family since the kids were still kids. His wife seemed to love him at the time, and I guess she still does.'

'We all met Kate Wallance at that party, didn't we? She seemed really nice. If someone like her married Andre, then I guess he can't be all bad.'

'Well, no one's all bad. Even Hitler loved his dog. I always liked Kate. I've sort of missed having her and the kids visit, but I have a reason to call and talk to her now that Hayden's here again.'

'Good,' said Roland. 'You can tell her how much I appreciate him playing with Adam. I must remember to thank him… if I can find him. He seems to have gone.'

'Really?' Peter turned to look, and saw that Adam had moved onto yet another playmate, this one taking the form of Jonathan Spengler. 'Weird. I guess he went to the bathroom or something.'

.-.-.

'Not here!' said Jessica, who had gone to the kitchen for a soda, and within moments found herself having to prise her lips away from Hayden's.

'Then where?' he asked, refusing to release his grip on her.

'Someplace else.'

'When?'

'Soon.'

'Tonight?'

'I don't… oh, okay, fine.'

She made a deliberate attempt not to sound too eager, and finally succeeded in pushing him away, though in fact her pride was only just winning out against her all too easily awakened desire. Hayden leaned back against the sink and looked at her with hunger in his eyes. Jessica glared at him for a moment, but then found herself having to look away.

'Oh, will you look at that?' she said, nodding towards the table, where two mugs were perched in the little available space beside Egon's chess set. 'Someone didn't put their mugs away. I bet this'll mean more bossy notes from Janine. "If you USE it, you WASH it, and you PUT IT AWAY"!'

'Well, fair enough,' said Hayden. 'But it looks like whoever it was forgot this time. They were probably in a hurry to see Lucy. I'll wash them up, shall I?'

'Why should you?'

'It sounds like a lot less hassle than leaving them there.'

'Yeah, I guess,' said Jessica. 'Look, I'll tell you what - I'll do it. You go back to your crumby little dorm room, and I'll be there in an hour or two, okay?'

'I'd rather you were there sooner.'

'Tough. You'll have to wait. I can't leave with you and then be out all night.'

'Pity,' said Hayden.

'Shut up and get going, before someone catches us.'

'Doing what? I'm not even touching you.'

'For God's sake, just go!'

.-.-.

Down in the foyer, Adam was experiencing extreme degrees of boredom. All his playmates of that afternoon had abandoned him, and those that remained were more interested in his little sister than in him, or else they were doing their own thing. Eduardo was still having his conversation with Rose, while Peter was leaning against a corner of Janine's desk and jabbing away at his smart phone. Roland and Grace were engaged in conversation with Egon and Janine, with Lucy asleep again in Roland's arms. Adam toddled over to them and tugged at Grace's sleeve.

'Sorry, sweetie,' she said, lifting him into her arms. 'We can go home in a minute.'

'Can we go home too?' Rose asked Eduardo.

'Yes,' said Eduardo. 'Will you go get your sister for me, please?'

'You could get her yourself, you know.'

'I know, but she'd much rather you got her. That way she'll know there are no hard feelings about this sleepover of hers.'

'But there are hard feelings,' said Rose. 'I know what's going to happen. They're going to be all over the floor, doing each other's hair and painting each other's nails and talking about boys and clothes and ponies and stickers.'

'Yes, well,' said Eduardo, 'that doesn't sound like my idea of a fun evening either, but we're being supportive of Chita because we love her. Now please find her and tell her it's time to go home.'

Rose frowned at him for a moment, and then she went. Eduardo turned to the others with a look of amazement, and said, 'She did it!'

'Maybe she's planning something for later,' said Peter, as Hayden passed Rose on the stairs and approached the group. 'Oh, hi - are you still here? I just got an email from Oscar. He says he's sorry he won't be able to come and see us until Christmas. You won't be here then, will you?'

'I shouldn't think so,' said Hayden. 'I'll have to try and catch him in the new year before he naffs off again.'

'Pony,' said Adam, attempting to clamber out of his mother's arms.

'All right, Adam, just once more around the block,' said Hayden. 'But that has to be all. I'm not as strong as I look, you know.'

This got a chuckle out of most of the people in the room. Hayden did not look strong in the slightest.

'You don't have to,' said Roland.

'But I will,' said Hayden, getting onto all fours. Adam climbed onto his back, and they set off on a circuit of the area.

'It was really nice to meet Lucy, you guys,' said Janine.

'You'll have to bring her again sometime, Grace,' said Egon.

'Dana would probably like to meet her,' said Peter, who had not stopped playing with his phone. 'And Oscar. Maybe he'll write a song about how she should have been his niece.'

Roland looked at him uncertainly. 'I thought he was over that.'

'He is,' said Peter. 'I was just kidding. Oh my God!'

'What?' asked Egon, the force of Peter's sudden outburst filling him with concern.

'The house prices in Chelsea!' said Peter. 'Chelsea in London, I mean. Andre must be a billionaire or something!'

'I doubt it, Peter,' said Egon. 'Classical musicians don't make as much as that.'

'Yeah?' said Peter. 'Then I hope he has a crippling mortgage.'

'That's nice, Dr Venkman,' said Janine.

'Everybody shush - Hayden's coming back,' said Peter.

When Hayden reached them, Grace plucked Adam off his back, and he got to his feet.

'Okay,' he said, dusting himself off, 'I've got to go now. Bye, everyone.'

They all said goodbye and waved him off, and then suddenly everyone's attention was back on Peter.

'How much?' Eduardo asked.

'Millions!' said Peter. 'Andre's must be at least a four-bed, because I know the kids don't share, and I can't find one of those for less than two million pounds! Most of them are more like three or four million! Or more!'

'In British pounds?' Egon asked. 'Really?'

'Yes!' said Peter.

'What's that in dollars?' asked Grace. 'About six or seven million? That's insane!'

'Come on!' said Adam.

'I wonder if I can find out how much Andre paid,' said Peter. 'When did he move in? Obviously it must have been in the six years between Oscar and Hayden being born…'

'Why would you do that?' asked Janine. 'What does it matter how much the guy's house cost? If you're comparing yourself to him, that makes you pretty pathetic, you know.'

'I know,' said Peter.

'How can anyone afford to live there?' said Eduardo. 'I hope they all go bankrupt.'

'Mom-meeee!' said Adam.

'Okay, honey, we're going,' said Grace, putting him down and picking up a cumbersome item from the floor. 'Look, see - I'm putting Lucy's bag in the car right now.'

'What's taking them so long?' said Eduardo, making a sudden beeline towards the stairs. 'Girls, come on, let's go!'

'Maybe Kate put up some of the money,' said Peter. 'Does anyone know how much reporters for big national newspapers earn?'

'Not millions, I shouldn't think,' said Egon.

'Then maybe he does have a crippling mortgage,' said Peter.

'So what?' said Janine. 'You got Oscar, didn't you? That means you won.'

'Unless you want to work on Hayden now as well,' said Egon. 'He seems to like you.'

'He does like me,' said Peter. 'He probably wishes I'd married his mother instead of Oscar's. I might have too, if I'd met her first and she'd played her cards right. You remember Kate, don't you, Egon? She's very -'

'They're gone!'

At this, all eyes turned to Eduardo at the bottom of the staircase. He was clinging to the banister with both hands, his eyes wide with sheer panic. Slimer was behind him, a half-eaten giant bar of chocolate in his hand, looking similarly concerned.

'What?' said Roland. 'Who's gone?'

'All of them! They're all gone! I can't find anybody up there!'

'What?' Egon, Janine and Peter all said in unison. Then suddenly they were rushing in all directions, some going upstairs, some down, Eduardo included, each shouting the names of their own children.

'Jess?'

'John?'

'Rose?'

'Eden?'

'Chita?'

Slimer called them too, to the best of his ability, flying through walls and ceilings and leaving a trail of green slime in his wake.

Grace was in the middle of strapping Adam into his car seat, while Roland was still holding Lucy and swaying gently from side to side. Both stopped moving and exchanged a horrified glance, which broke only when Peter fled past them and ventured a little way out onto the street.

'Jess!'

'Rose!'

'Eden!'

'Chita!'

'John!'

'What?'

All eyes turned to John, who had appeared near the restroom. Everyone stared at him, dumbstruck, for a few moments. Then Janine rushed over to him and embraced him.

'Oh, you're still here!' she almost wept.

'Of course I am,' said John. 'What's going on?'

'It's just the girls,' said Peter. 'The girls are all missing! What the hell?'

'Missing?' said John. 'What do you mean, missing?'

'They're missing!' wailed Janine. 'They're not here! They're… they're missing!'

'Lucy's not missing,' said Eduardo. 'She's right there. Roland, man, you'd better get those kids out of here.'

'Maybe I should stay,' said Roland.

'Must you?' said Grace. 'Oh, I'm sorry, everyone, I don't mean to sound insensitive. But I don't want to put Lucy in the back on her own, and I want to get out of here quickly, so I don't want to have to move Adam…'

'It's okay, Grace,' said Peter, who was again looking at his smart phone. 'We've all been there. I'm not getting Jess's cell phone at all - she's definitely missing with the others.'

'Hold on,' said Egon. 'Did anyone see Charlene leave?'

There was a brief silence. Then Peter said, 'I'll try calling her.'

.-.-.

Charlene was waking up with the feel of grass against her cheek, with no memory of having gone to sleep in the first place. A few feet away from her, Jessica was experiencing exactly the same thing. They both sat up and stared at each other for a long time. Jessica was the first to speak.

'What the holy Jesus Christ in fucking hell?' she said loudly.

'I don't know, Jess,' said Charlene. 'I just don't know.'

They got to their feet. Around them there was only flat grassland, and above them were acres of blue sky.

'I can't believe this!' said Jessica. 'I mean… what the hell?'

'You already said that. More or less. Look over there.'

Jessica followed Charlene's gaze, and saw that two more people were getting up from a sleep on the ground a few yards away from them.

'Looks like Edie and Chita,' said Charlene.

'Oh yeah,' said Jessica. 'I wonder what they're doing here. Wait, what am I saying? I wonder what we're doing here!'

'I'm sure we're all wondering that. Come on.'

Charlene made her way over to the two girls, and Jessica followed, her expression and body language frightful to behold.

'Oh,' said Eden. 'You're here too.'

'I suppose it really is you?' said Jessica.

'Do you suppose it really is me too?' asked Charlene.

'I don't know,' said Jessica. 'It might not be. This might just be my… whatever the hell it is! That'd be pretty funny, wouldn't it? Like I've got nothing better planned. I was supposed to do something tonight.'

'Really?' said Charlene. 'What was his name?'

Jessica glared at her. 'That's not very nice, Charlene.'

'Sorry.'

'I think we all need to remain calm,' said Eden. 'And I think we all need to assume that we're all us, and we can trust each other, or we'll never get anywhere.'

'Okay, great, I trust you,' said Jessica. 'Now how do we get out of here?'

'I don't know.' Eden looked at Conchita, who had yet to say anything. 'Are you all right, Chita?'

'I'm as all right as the rest of you,' said Conchita. 'I was just wondering if this was all of us.'

'Were you expecting someone else?' asked Jessica.

'No,' said Conchita. 'I just thought we should check. Rose could be here, or Adam, or John, or anyone really. I hope Lucy's still with Grace.'

'This seems to be all of us,' said Charlene, taking in the landscape all around her. 'So… I guess we should try and figure this out.'

'How?' Jessica said stiffly.

'It shouldn't be too hard to find the root cause,' said Eden, 'even if we can't determine the exact nature of this situation just yet. After all, this doesn't happen every day, so we just need to identify the variable that brought all of us here. We'll have to go through everything we did before this happened. For example, the last thing I remember is looking at… oh… Father's chess set.'

'There you are, you see?' said Charlene. 'Eden's hit on it right off. It's old, it's weird, it only arrived today - what else could have done this?'

'I was looking at it too,' said Conchita.

'I wasn't looking at the chess set,' said Charlene, 'but I was in the kitchen, the last thing I remember.'

'Me too,' said Jessica. 'Okay, so the chess set is evil and it zapped us here. What the hell are we going to do about it? I have to be somewhere in a couple of hours!'

'Jessica,' said Conchita. 'Have you ever read What Katy Did?'

Jessica stared at her a moment. Then she said irritably, 'What?'

'It has a good bit of advice in it that I've always remembered,' Conchita went on. 'One of the characters says that everything has a rough and a smooth handle, and you can get along with just about anything, if only you can pick it up by the smooth handle.'

'Oh,' said Jessica, 'you have got to be freakin' kidding me, princess.'

'Thank you for not swearing, Jessica,' said Eden. 'That's a very good start. I think Conchita's right. We need to approach this with the right attitude. First off, we don't know that the chess set is evil.'

'Then why would it zap us here?' Jessica demanded.

'I don't know,' said Eden.

'It's so nice here,' said Conchita, lifting her face to the breeze. 'Peaceful. If I was here on my own, I'd think maybe I was dead. But we can't have all died suddenly, can we?'

'I suppose it's possible,' said Eden, 'but extremely unlikely. It can happen to anyone, but what are the chances of it happening to four young people in the same time and place?'

'Look,' said Charlene, 'we're not going to get anywhere by just talking. Maybe we should try moving.'

'Are you sure?' asked Conchita. 'If you're lost, you're supposed to stay where you are.'

'But we're not anywhere,' said Jessica.

'We must be somewhere,' said Eden. 'And our parents must be looking for us. It's impossible to tell whether moving or staying put is the more advisable course of action, but if it's a matter of personal preference, I'd rather like to explore. You three can't tell me you're not dying to know where we are.'

'Well,' said Conchita, 'that's certainly picking it up by the smooth handle.'

'If you're going to keep on talking about smooth handles, princess,' said Jessica, 'you're going to start pissing me off, and then I won't be held responsible for my -'

'You guys,' said Charlene. 'Shut up. We got a problem… maybe. What do you think, Edie? Any idea who they are?'

'I believe I have some idea,' said Eden, following Charlene's gaze to where a mass of cloaked and helmeted figures was walking towards them. 'Though whether they mean us harm, good or neither is impossible to tell at this stage.'

'I think I recognise them from the chess,' said Conchita, catching her breath and grabbing Eden's arm. 'They're Roman soldiers, aren't they?'

'I'm sure they are,' said Eden, 'and they have certainly seen us. Now, this ought to be fascinating.'

To be continued...