Trainwreck
(ShaneTess)

author's note: This is a ShaneTess. And I really don't like Tess very much, but I did like the idea of a trainwreck and she was the only person who fit it. So, yeah.

disclaimer: I totally own Camp Rock. Yup, me and Walt Disney, we go wayyyy back. We're tighter than spandex. (I wish.)

I can't do this. There is no way I can do this (no way no way no way no way no way no way). I can't ruin him ruin him the same way I ruined myself (myself).

His eyes shoot open just as I manage to get myself out of the tangle that is our arms and limbs and bodies and souls intertwined. I watch as he sleepily rubs his eyes out of confusion, and as realization enters.

"Where are you going?" (Softly, like he doesn't want anyone to hear.)

"Out." I shrug and continue to get dressed (I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care).

But I make the mistake of looking into his eyes, his deep brown chocolate eyes, the ones that always meant comfort and stability and hope and love to me, again and it is (almost) enough to break me.

"Want me to come with?" (Uttered.)

(No I don't want you here and I don't want you with me I want you with Mitchie where you belong without me and with Mitchie and this is going to break her and I don't want to break you and it's going to break me but I'm already broken.)

(Scoff.) "Shouldn't you be with Mitchie?"

He knows something is wrong don't say it don't say it don't say it please.

He sighs as he breathes my name (Tess).

"Don't be like that. It just wouldn't work out." He lazily gets out of bed and walks over to where I'm struggling to get out of a large t-shirt and into some real clothes; he knows he can fix this (you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't). He rubs my shoulders soothingly. "She was losing interest so fast, and I just, I found you."

Huh. "You couldn't handle the perfect wife, and you think you're going to be able to handle a trainwreck like me?"

"Stop it Tess. I-We can fix this." (He is growing frustrated.)

No no no no no no no no no no no.

"I will not stop it. I will not stop my life for you, Shane. This is not about you."

(That hurt, both to hear and to say.)

I find the perfect outfit: a pink minidress that's barely short enough to cover my ass, let alone my legs. It's sparkly and sequined and just looking at it makes my eyes ache (kind of like my heart whenever I see him). I stop dressing long enough to respond to him.

(Sigh.) "I need a cigarette."

"Those aren't good for you."

Laugh. Brittle and dry. (laugh.)

"Neither are you." (I'm breaking this, I'm breaking myself but I can't break him won't break him he means too much he means so much it's beautiful and earth shattering at the same time and why can't I just be good enough all I ever wanted was him and now I have him and I don't want to do it but I have to let him go.)

(I take a cigarette and light it in front of him.)

"Bye, Shane. Have a nice day." (And a nice life.)

(I'm leaving.)

I put it to my lips and take a long drag. Walk out the door and let it out.

(I'm fixing this just like you told me Shane.)

I'm not worth you, Shane.

(Go back to Mitchie she's good for you. Or even Caitlyn or Nate or Jason or someone.)

Anyone but me.

(end.)

Fin.

authors note ii: Please let me know what you think! Reviews always make my day!

love, adrienne