Hey, peeps, how's it going?

OK, explanation time: I had this idea for a cute/funny one-shot drabble pop into my head the other day, so I thought I'd type it down and post it. It takes place in the timeline of my main GMD story "The Great Mouse Detective 2: Unexpected Love," a few months before the first chapter. It's in the first person and is narrated by Professor Ratigan himself. Hope y'all like it!

LONDON 1879

It was April 21st. One of my favorite days of the year...the anniversary of the day I married Miss Mary Bentley, the most intelligent, wonderful, beautiful woman in the world. I was getting rady to go to work at Oxford University.

"Do you REALLY have to go to work today, Padraic?" Mary asked me. "Can't you stay home?"

I chuckled. "You know I'd love to, Mary, but I NEED to go in. I'm the head of the mathematics department. Without me, the whole place would blow up into chaos." Actually, they would probably be fine without me for one day, but it doesn't hurt to give yourself a little ego boost once in a while.

Mary nodded. "You're right. Just come home as soon as your last class gets out, all right?"

"I will, I promise." I kissed her. "Take care of yourselves, my darlings." By "yourselves," I meant Mary and our baby. It's due this July. Words cannot describe how excited I am at becoming a father for the first time.

I took a cab to Oxford from our flat. Once I got into my office, I was greeted by my personal secretary. "Good morning, Professor Ratigan."

"Good morning, Alice. Is there anything important going on today?"

"No, sir, just your regular classes."

"All right, thank you, Alice." I started for my first class. "Oh, by the way, happy anniversary!" Alice called after me.

As I walked down the hall to my first class, I was stopped by Thomas Henderson, the head of the history department and a good friend of mine. "Hey, Paddy! I heard today's your anniversary. Congratulations, mate!"

I smiled. "Thank you, Thomas. I've got everything planned out. I'm taking Mary to the White Lotus, her favorite restaurant. It's where I proposed to her, you know. Oh, this is going to be the perfect anniversary!"

"So, what'd you get her for a gift?" Thomas asked.

"A what?"

"A gift. It IS tradition for a husband to give his wife a gift on their anniversary, after all."

My heart stopped right then and there. Oh God, I forgot to buy Mary a gift! I thought. How could I forget? How could I be so stupid? Mary's going to hate me for this!

Thomas chuckled. "Uh-oh, looks like the World's Greatest Mathematical Mind forgot a key aspect of his perfect anniversary formula." I must have glared at him or something, because he grinned panickedly and said "Oh wow, would you look at the time, I have to be heading for my first class. Bye!" and then he ran.

I could hardly concentrate on my morning classes. I was too busy trying to figure out how to rectify my situation. I decided that I would use my lunch hour to go downtown and find a gift for Mary.

Once lunchtime came around, I went downtown and browsed several shops. I first looked in a bookstore, but all the titles were ones I either knew Mary had read before or knew she wouldn't like. Next, I went by a cosmetics shop without even stopping. Mary is so naturally beautiful that she doesn't need gunk covering her face. Next, I stopped by a perfume shop, but all the scents either smelled disgusting or were too fancy. Mary has very simple tastes, and I love that about her. Lastly, I browsed in a dress shop, but found nothing. Mary never likes any of the dresses I pick out for her, and besides, with her pregnancy so far along she wouldn't be able to fit into anything for another three months. Defeated, I left for Oxford.

I had just as hard a time paying attention in my afternoon classes as I did my morning classes. I was much too occupied with figuring out how I was going to explain the situation to Mary. Also, my stomach was roaring at me from missing lunch, so that greatly helped decrease my concentration as well.

Once my last class got out, I sadly started off for my office. I heard a voice calling "Professor! Professor Ratigan!" I turned to see Basil Benson, my teaching assistant, following me. Basil was my best and brightest student of all time. He graduated last year summa cum laude at the young age of nineteen with a degree in chemistry. He has told me that he plans to enroll into Scotland Yard's training program. I know that as brilliant as he is, he'll make a very fine detective.

"What is it, Mr. Benson?" I asked.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were all right," Basil explained. "You seemed a bit off today."

I smiled. "You have a very keen sense of observation, Basil. Yes, I was a bit off today. I was feeling distracted." My stomach growled. "AND hungry. I had to miss lunch today to find a gift for my wife."

"Oh, that's right, today is your anniversary, isn't it? Happy anniversary!"

"I'm afraid it WON'T be so happy. How could I forget to buy Mary a gift? I am such an idiot!"

Basil frowned for a second. "Do you love Mrs. Ratigan, Professor?"

"What kind of a question is that? Of course I do!"

"And does she know this?"

"I make a point of it to tell her every day."

"Well, then, shouldn't that be enough? I mean, I've never been in love before myself, but I figure that if someone truly loves someone else, then their love would mean more to that someone else than a gift would."

I sighed. "You truly are wise beyond your years, my boy. Thank you for your words."

"You're quite welcome, Professor. Good luck!" With that, Basil ran off to join some of his friends who had been waiting for him.

I tried to let Basil's words comfort me on the ride back home, but still I was nervous. Once I got home, Mary called "Padraic? Is that you?"

"Yes, dear, it's me," I replied, trying not to let my fear show in my voice.

"I'll be right down. I'm just finishing getting ready." I sat down on the sofa in the living room and waited. A million thoughts shot through my mind. What if Basil was wrong? What if my love ISN'T enough for Mary? What if..."

"I'm ready." I looked over to see Mary standing, waiting for me. She looked like an angel. She wore a dark blue dress that matched the color of her eyes perfectly, and her golden hair was fixed in a tight braid. "Are you ready?"

I gulped. "Before we go, Mary, I need to talk to you about something."

Mary sat down next to me. "What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath, exhaled, and then started. "I forgot to buy you a gift this year. I'm so sorry, Mary, I don't know what's wrong with me. I even missed my lunch hour to find you a gift downtown, but to no avail. Nothing I saw was worthy of you. Oh Mary, I hope you can forgive me for being such a forgetful fool. I do love you so much."

Mary looked at me oddly for a moment. I couldn't read what she was thinking. Then, she burst out laughing. I was stunned. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, Paddy, it's just too hilarious," Mary sighed. "You see, I forgot to buy YOU a gift as well."

"You DID?"

Mary nodded. "I've just been so busy preparing for the baby's arrival, my mind hasn't really been able to focus on anything else. Oh, what does it matter? We don't need to give each other silly little gifts to show how much we love each other." Exactly what Basil had told me. "Besides, you've already given me the best gift of all."

"I have?" I asked. Mary smiled as she took my hand and put it gently on her stomach so that I could feel the baby's feet striking against my palm. "You've given me your child, Padraic. You've made it possible for me to become a mother. I can never thank you enough for that. I love you so much."

I smiled, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "I love you so much, too." We embraced one another and kissed.

Suddenly, my belly rumbled loudly. I grinned embarrassedly. "Sorry about that. After missing lunch, I'm absolutely STARVING."

"Well then let's go to dinner," Mary suggested. We got up and went off together, laughing and holding hands.

AWWWWWWWWW! Wait, is it appropriate to "aww" at your own story? Oh whatever!

And so we learn the origin of Ratigan's title "the World's Greatest Criminal Mind" in the movie.

Yes, Basil (a chemistry major) was Ratigan's (a math professor) teaching assistant for a while. Make sense? Probably not, but what fun is there in making sense? (1,000,000 Internets to the first person to correctly guess where that quote comes from!)

Hope you all enjoyed this little story, my peeps!

All my best, DiscordantPrincess.