Warning: Profanity and crude humor ensue.
A/N: I'm away at a summer program right now, so whatever things I was working on are on hold for about a week. (And, yes, I'm still working on stories!) However, I thought of this funny lil drabble and wanted to write it ASAP.
"You did what?" Nikki snapped.
"Calm down, baby. I think this'll be a good experience for us," Jonesy replied.
"The hell it is. We never once discussed this. You don't even know the first thing about raising a dog," she said, glaring at him with her arms crossed.
"First of all, it's two dogs and, second, I can learn how to take care of them. Third, I've wanted a dog since forever, Nikki. You know that." He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a soda. Before opening the drink, he said, "Besides, we did talk about it before."
"Talking about which dog breed is your favorite does not equal talking about adopting one… or two," she corrected herself, still focusing her eyes on her impulsive husband.
"C'mon, Nikki. You're acting like dogs are unbearable."
"I'm not saying that they are. I'm just saying they're a half-step below having a kid, and I already get enough questions from my mom about 'having her grandchildren.'" She rolled her eyes. "I just took on your last name; I'm not ready for that yet. And I'm damn sure not cleaning up dog shit."
"You don't have to clean up dog shit." He set his soda down on the kitchen counter and got down on one knee. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep these dogs, babe. Will you at least give them a chance?"
She found herself on the receiving end of a puppy-dog gaze, much like the one he'd give her as a teenager. Some things never changed. "Are you really trying to propose… about dogs?"
He sheepishly grinned. "Is it working?"
The tiniest of smirks appeared. "I suppose so."
"You're the best ever, babe!" he proclaimed, springing to his feet and sweeping her into an embrace.
After he planted a kiss on her cheek, she tapped him on the nose. "Let's not get too carried away. I haven't exactly met the dogs yet."
"You're gonna love them, I promise," he said as he led her to the living room.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Jonesy," she teased.
He glanced around the living room, unable to find the two dogs that he previously set upon the couch.
"Where'd they go?" he asked himself.
"Great, we already lost the dogs in the apartment," she said.
"They couldn't have gone too far," he replied, placing a hand on his stubbly chin, casually reminding himself to shave.
A large yelp from their bedroom grabbed their attention.
Nikki got there first, only to find a whimpering Corgi underneath a thrusting and panting Boxer.
"What the hell?" she asked. This was not the introduction she expected.
Jonesy laughed when he stumbled upon the scene. "They've got a lot of energy, that's for sure. They kinda remind me of us, babe."
"You don't say," she deadpanned, turning towards him.
"You know, when I found them earlier, they were barking each other's heads off."
She smirked at her spouse. "Well, I guess I can put up with their barking—as long as they're not having puppies yet."
"What about some bomb pre-puppies practice sex?" he asked.
Nikki snorted. "I'm starting to think you're talking less about the puppies and more about us."
Jonesy glanced at the hormone-stricken dogs and then smiled at her. "Hey, we can't be outdone by these two."
A/N: I was in the mood for silly, suggestive humor. Hope you enjoyed.