There she was. The dark ginger she-cat that shattered his heart into a thousand pieces. Ashfur knew that it was probably pointless to still want her, but he did. Words couldn't describe the desire he felt deep within himself whenever she passed him by. The only feeling he'd ever had comparable to it was when he was an apprentice striving with all of his heart to be a warrior. But his apprentice training never hurt like this.

Squirrelflight padded by, talking with Brambleclaw again. Ashfur's eyes narrowed as he saw how close they were walking. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm the jealousy and anger that bubbled up inside him whenever he so much as glanced at the Clan's new deputy.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't gotten that one glimpse, one taste as to what Squirrelflight's love would feel like. He'd often lay awake at night, gazing at StarClan and remembering what it felt like to finally have her and her deep green eyes fixed on him with such affection…

Ashfur shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts of Squirrelflight. It was hard, but he had managed to keep pushing through his life so far, and he intended to keep it up. For all he really wanted was for her to be content and happy, and if that meant that she would be Brambleclaw's mate then so be it. That was entirely up to her.

He got up and started making his way towards the fresh-kill pile. Maybe if he ate something that would distract him… at least for a while.

"Hey Ashfur, do you want to go hunting? Brackenfur wants to spend some time with Sorreltail, and he said that you might take me," Whitepaw mewed, her dark green eyes shining with admiration and trust. Ashfur sighed.

"No thank you Whitepaw, I don't think I can right now. Why don't you see if Rainwhisker will take you?" Ashfur suggested. Whitepaw nodded half-heartedly.

"Oh… okay then…" Whitepaw attempted enthusiasm, and miserably failed. The white she-cat trotted towards Rainwhisker with her head down and her tail trailing along the ground. Ashfur hated to hurt her this way; it was quite easy to see how fond of him Whitepaw was. But he couldn't lead her along thinking that she might have a chance, because the truth was she didn't.

Ashfur's heart belonged only to Squirrelflight, and that was all there was to it. There was no use in trying to pretend otherwise.