Hello everyone! I've been toying with this idea and working on this fic for over a year now and I'm glad you're here. I hope you enjoy! I've worked really hard on this.
(Usual disclaimer junk) Rated M for sexual content and themes and language.
Summary: It all started with a bikini contest. Silly? Yes. Harmless? No. Troublesome? You bet.
Also as a sidenote, some characters that may have died in the manga appear in this story alive. I won't name names to avoid spoilers, but I wanted certain ones alive. The Konoha 11 are all around 25 years old.
It was a beautiful Friday afternoon in mid-April, and the weather was a promise that spring was here to stay. The birds were chirping, enjoying the clear skies no doubt, and a light breeze blew through the streets of Konoha. It was prime cloud-watching weather, much to the dismay of a disgruntled Shikamaru who had been forced to take over the duty of grocery shopping for mom. Days like this didn't come too often, and that only served to make Shikamaru work even faster so that he could get back to his favorite pastime.
That's why when he heard the voice of his former sensei call his name, he sighed somewhat disappointedly. Sure, he loved spending time and playing shogi with Asuma more than anything else, but right now he wanted to get back to the Nara household before mom chewed his head off. She had already put him in a sour mood by sending him on this shopping trip in the first place, claiming that 'cloud-watching was a waste of time,' and that he 'should be doing something for the family, not sitting around being an ass.'
"Hey, Shikamaru!" Asuma's voice called. Shikamaru turned around, barely able to see him over the mountain of groceries he was carrying.
"What is it, Asuma sensei?" He asked. Asuma smiled and let out a puff of smoke. "You've been chosen to be a judge for the young kunoichi bikini contest," he said. Shikamaru looked at him, confused. "Come again?" He asked in disbelief. "It's funny, for a second I thought you said I was judging a bikini contest."
Asuma chuckled. "That's exactly what I said. Well, co-judging, really."
Shikamaru frowned. "Who decided that?!"
Asuma gave an apologetic shrug and inhaled deeply from his cigarette. "It was voted on by the contestants themselves. They're all your colleagues. They believe you'll be fair and honest."
Shikamaru sighed, his patience thinning. "Since when did we ever have bikini contests here anyways? This sounds fishy," He said.
Asuma nodded and rubbed his neck. "I hear ya," he agreed. "I think it's strange too but apparently the Hokage thought it would be a good idea. Something about self-esteem issues…?"
Shikamaru held his gaze, unwavering. There weren't exactly too many self-esteem issues here except for a select few girls. There must be another reason for this.
"What a drag..." He sighed, trying to fake disinterest. This whole bikini contest thing wasn't all that interesting, but there was something more to this. There just had to be. And at the same time...
"So who's entering?" Shikamaru asked, genuinely curious. "Like, when you said 'young,' I hope you don't mean preteens."
Asuma chuckled. "I'm assuming 'young' means your age group," he said. "Ino got word about the contest way back and she wouldn't stop talking about it with Kurenai and everyone else."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and sighed. "Figures…" he said. "Do you know who else is participating?" He pried further. Asuma shrugged and let out another puff of smoke. "You're asking the wrong guy. I was just told to tell you if I saw you. I have no clue about the details."
Shikamaru nodded understandingly. Asuma smirked. "Who is it that you're wondering about?" He asked knowingly. A surprised look flickered in Shikamaru's eyes for a moment, betraying his indifferent exterior. "It's no one in particular. I was just curious, that's all." He replied, looking to the side. Damn, Asuma knew him too well.
"Is she one of the girls in your year?" He pried. Shikamaru's cheeks reddened slightly as he swallowed. "It's no one," he urged, avoiding eye contact.
"It can't be Ino…" Asuma began. "That Hyuga girl?" Shikamaru was silent.
"It's pinky, isn't it?" Asuma teased. His accusation must have hit the nail on the head, because Shikamaru's blush darkened a few shades.
"…Is it really that obvious?" Shikamaru asked, looking embarrassed. His former sensei chuckled and brought his cigarette to his lips, taking in a breath and letting out a puff of smoke. "It is now that you told me. I thought you'd be tougher to crack, my friend. I just took a stab at it."
Shikamaru looked up at the sky and sighed heavily.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed of," Asuma continued. "She's a real fighter and one hell of a medic. She's definitely following in Lady Tsunade's footsteps."
Shikamaru looked at the groceries in his arms. His mom was going to kill him for taking so long.
"Anyways, sensei, I'd better get going. When is the competition?" He asked. If they wanted him to be a judge, then fine. He would humor them.
Asuma smiled. "Next Friday night."
Shikamaru sat down at the judging table, Neji on his left and Kiba on his right. The seat on the far right was still empty. He turned to Neji and adjusted his tie nervously. "Who else is supposed to judge tonight?" He asked, referring to the empty seat. Neji sighed. "Take a wild guess," he said dryly. "They chose two intelligent, quiet, and sophisticated guys like us. The other two are perverted idiots."
Shikamaru sighed, glancing at Kiba. If one half of the dynamic duo was already here, that meant -
"Naruto Uzumaki is in the house and ready to check out babes!" A grating voice cried from the back of the room. Shikamaru and Neji shared an equally pained glance. "Why does it have to be Naruto?" Shikamaru asked, hanging his head. He liked the blonde-headed idiot, but sometimes he could be obnoxious.
Naruto strolled up to the judging table and sat in his chair. "You ready for this?" He asked Kiba enthusiastically. "You bet I am!" Kiba replied. The two high-fived.
Neji groaned and brought a hand to his forehead. "Apparently the contestants collectively decided who would judge. I have absolutely no idea why they chose Naruto and Kiba."
Shikamaru looked up thoughtfully. "Apparently I was chosen because I'm fair and honest," he said. Neji nodded. "I was chosen because I'm calm, impartial, and stoic," he said in agreement.
Naruto leaned over to look at Neji and Shikamaru. "Face it Neji, you were chosen because no matter how hot a girl is, you can't get a hard-on because you're gaaaaay ~ " Naruto sang.
Neji narrowed his eyes. "I simply don't think constantly being aroused by the appearance of your peers is an acceptable thing." He said somewhat defensively.
Kiba chuckled and looked at Naruto. "Gay," he whispered loudly. The two broke out into obnoxious laughter.
Shikamaru furrowed his brow and turned to Neji. "I know it's really none of my business, but it's okay if you are gay," he said softly. Neji sighed. "I'm not gay, really. Those two decided to start a baseless rumor about me because of the fact that I have never had a girlfriend before. It's that simple."
Shikamaru shook his head. "That's silly. Don't forget that they're idiots, Neji. No one will believe anything that comes out of their mouths. And even then, so what if they do tell people? It's not exactly something to be ashamed of, and they'll be receiving more hate for sounding like homophobes."
Neji nodded slowly. "I suppose you're right..."
Kiba leaned over and smiled at everyone. "Anyways guys, I think we all look awesome tonight," he said genuinely, referring to the fact that everyone was wearing a suit and tie. Shikamaru agreed.
Naruto chuckled. "I hope all the contestants notice how spiffy we look!" He said excitedly. "...oh, yeah, and I hope the girls are hot!"
Kiba and Naruto shared another enthusiastic high-five.
Neji rolled his eyes. "Of course you do…" He said.
Shikamaru tugged at his collar nervously and checked the short list of contestants. They were all familiar names, he realized. Mostly people in their graduating class, but also others he had worked with before.
Suddenly the stage lights got brighter and the audience lights dimmed. "Aw yeah, it's starting!" Kiba cheered.
Kakashi sensei walked out onto stage, wearing his usual blue mask under a black tux and holding a white script card. "Welcome to the first-ever Konoha young kunoichi bikini contest," he read into the microphone, his voice even more disinterested sounding than usual. "I'm Kakashi Hatake and I'll be your host for this evening. I don't know how I was roped into this..." He muttered as an afterthought.
Naruto stood up and cheered. "Bring on the babes!" He cried. Shikamaru sent him a dirty look.
"Our first contestant is... *sigh* Ino Yamanaka."
There was a lot of cheering as the curtain lifted. It seemed like the entire male population of the leaf village was in the audience, watching as Ino ran onto the stage in a purple bikini that accentuated her large chest. The crowd went wild.
"Hello boys," Ino flirted in a singsong voice. "I know, I know, you can't resist me."
Shikamaru listened to the roar of the crowd behind him. She was right - they were going absolutely crazy for her. He sighed. She was like a sister to him and he had seen her wearing swimsuits before, but somehow on this stage it seemed different.
He blushed and brought a hand to his forehead. "What a drag..." He muttered. "How can I judge if I can't even take the contestants seriously? This whole thing is idiotic."
Kiba elbowed Shikamaru's side. "Lighten up and enjoy the show, bud. Ino's smokin' hot!" Shikamaru sighed and reluctantly looked up on stage, watching Ino pose for a little. While she walked backstage, the four judges scribbled little notes and a number on the score sheets in front of them.
Kakashi walked back out on the stage. "That was... interesting." He said before glancing down at his script card. "Next up we have Tenten."
The curtain opened again and Tenten walked out onto the stage, moving rather slowly.
"She's nervous," Shikamaru thought to himself. "She's way more conservative than Ino is so this is a huge leap out of her comfort zone."
Tenten was wearing a small pink halter bikini, the straps tied into large bows around her neck and back. She stopped at the front of the stage for a moment. The crowd went absolutely wild. Tenten smiled coyly and waved.
Shikamaru looked at his fellow judges to gauge their reactions. Naruto and Kiba were practically hanging over the front of the desk and salivating. "Who knew Tenten was this gorgeous?!" Kiba cried. Naruto wiped the drool from his chin and continued to stare. "Her boobs are ginormous!" He said.
Shikamaru sighed and looked over at Neji, the only sensible one. He was blushing something furious, and a little bit of blood was trickling out of his nose. "You alright?" Shikamaru asked.
That seemed to break the trance. Neji shook his head and put a hand to his nose. "Yeah, I'm fine. This... This is just... I mean, she's my teammate! I should be fair about this! I'm supposed to be the stoic judge!"
Shikamaru smiled. "It's okay if you're not stoic 100% of the time, you know that right?" He said good-naturedly. Neji nodded. "I guess..." He admitted, reaching for the tissue box on the judging table. It was a little suspicious that it just "happened" to be there. It was like they expected someone to get a bloody nose at some point.
Tenten flashed a winning smile at the crowd before turning and walking away.
Kakashi gave an unenthusiastic eye roll as he reentered the stage, holding his cue card up. "Next is… oh joy… coming all the way from Suna, we have Temari!"
The blonde kunoichi entered onto the stage, a confident grin on her face. She was wearing a pale blue string bikini and she knew that she looked good. Shikamaru blushed a little – they had become really close friends over the years and seeing her sexualized like this, well… that made him a little uncomfortable.
He knew that people often wondered whether they were involved in some sort of relationship, but he could never really see her as anything but a friend. It's not to say he didn't try. After all, people constantly pointed out the positives while congratulating him on such a catch. At one point he really wanted to see it too, but he could never really bring himself to feel anything but friendship.
"The desert has some hot babes," Kiba said breathlessly. Shikamaru sighed and brought a hand to his forehead.
Temari was just oozing with confidence. She stood on the stage longer than the other contestants had, posing and wordlessly working the crowd into a frenzy. It was only when Kakashi walked back onto the stage to announce the next contestant that she finally left the spotlight.
"Isn't this just so wonderful?" Kakashi said in an unenthusiastic monotone. "Next up is our very own Hinata Hyuga."
Shikamaru couldn't help but chuckle at Kakashi's tone of voice. He was perhaps the worst match for this kind of thing. It was no secret that he possessed quite the perverted mind, and yet he was so unenthused about everything. His reactions were almost comical. Shikamaru assumed that Kakashi was just really worried about coming off as a creep if he seemed interested in these girls, so he played it off as disinterest. Secretly, he was probably having a field day.
"Umm… Hinata?" He asked, sounding puzzled as no one entered the stage.
The curtains parted just enough for the kunoichi in question to pop her head out. She had a distressed look on her face, her lavender eyes pleading with Kakashi to skip her. Kakashi put his cue cards in his pants pocket and gestured. "Here she is," he said dully.
Hinata shook her head and gave a surprised squeak, closing her eyes and attempting to sink behind the curtain. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. He didn't expect Hinata to be participating at all, unless she was forced. This was most likely the case, and if so then it would take a lot to get her out on this stage.
There was an all-too-familiar muffled voice from behind the curtain that cried out in protest. Shikamaru sighed and hung his head.
Ino.
He expected nothing different from the pushy blonde, and yet he thought that she at least had some respect for others' modesty. The curtains parted again and Hinata stumbled onto the stage as if shoved.
She shot an angry glare behind her, presumably aimed at the person who shoved her on stage. Realizing she was exposed, she slowly looked back at the giant crowd. Her face became a dangerous shade of red and she brought her hands over her chest in an attempt to cover up. She looked back at the curtain, wondering if she could slip away relatively unnoticed.
"Come on!" cried someone in the audience. Hinata gave a squeak and cowered, covering her head. This was humiliating! Here she was, caught on stage and seen by everyone. She couldn't go out there and pose like everyone else, but she was trapped on stage by Ino, who wouldn't let her backstage until she was finished. Maybe if she thought about it hard enough, she could just disappear.
Ino claimed that being in this contest would bring the shy kunoichi confidence, something that she desperately sought, but this was not what Hinata had bargained for. This would only give her a heart attack, she concluded.
"Hinata, you can do it!" a male voice encouraged. She looked up, shocked. It couldn't be… Neji?
Sure enough, the male Hyuga was right there, standing behind the judge's table. The other three judges were sitting in their seats, looking somewhat surprised. "Neji…" Hinata whispered to herself, smiling slightly. Her cousin had faith in her! She could do this!
"The sooner I do this, the sooner I can leave…" She whispered to herself. Lifting her head, she put on a confident face and nodded. "The sooner I do this, the sooner I can leave."
Repeating the phrase to herself silently, she picked herself up and began walking the length of the stage.
She stood at the center of the stage, a smile adorning her face. The crowd began cheering and applauding Hinata's bravery, which only served to encourage her further. She put her hands on her hips and stood proudly, a slight blush tinting her cheeks.
"Way to go, Hinata!" Kiba encouraged. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" He asked the rest of the judges. Naruto squinted and stared at her navy blue bandeau top and short skirt bikini bottom. "Who knew?" He muttered, sounding dumbfounded.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes at the idiotic comments Naruto and Kiba were exchanging and turned to Neji. "I think it's awesome that Hinata's acting this confident," he said. "She's come out of her shell, temporarily at least."
Neji beamed. "I'm proud of her," he said.
Hinata looked down at the judges table and gave Neji a grateful smile. He, in turn, gave a rare smile and a nod. Her eyes scanned the rest of the table, and upon seeing Naruto she froze. All of the confidence she possessed before was gone at the sight of the blonde jinchuriki, whose eyes were on her.
His eyes were on her.
Hinata gulped and felt a pit in her stomach, her face becoming like fire. She had to get out of here. She'd been on this stage for long enough, right? She desperately commanded her legs to move, but they were like stone pillars. She was frozen to the stage in front of everyone with no escape. Face reddening and sweating profusely, she felt her vision go black and that was it.
She had fainted.
Shikamaru's eyes widened at the sight of Hinata collapsing. It was like it was happening in slow motion. Her eyes closed and she began to go limp, her knees buckling. "Neji, she's fainting!" He cried, turning to the Hyuga, but his seat was empty. He looked back up on stage and saw Neji rushing to catch his cousin as she fell. Shikamaru felt a sense of relief come over him as the jounin caught her. It wasn't a rare occurrence for Hinata to faint, but up on stage it seemed different, scarier somehow.
"Hinata, are you alright?" Neji asked gently, hoping to get an answer from his cousin. Her eyes fluttered open and she blushed. "N-Neji, what happened?" She asked. Neji gave a sigh of relief. "You passed out on stage, but I caught you before you collapsed completely. Now, are you hurt?"
Hinata shook her head and smiled. "I'm alright, th-thank you. F-for catching me, I mean."
Neji nodded. "Are you alright to get up?"
Hinata nodded in response. "I'm pretty sure."
Hinata stood up somewhat unsteadily and, regaining her balance, she looked out at the crowd. "She's alright, everybody!" Neji cried, reassuring the crowd. There was a round of applause as the jounin walked his cousin backstage and then returned to his seat at the judging table.
"That was quick thinking, Neji," Shikamaru said in awe as Neji returned to his seat. Neji nodded. "Thanks, I'm just glad I saw it happening."
Kiba leaned forward in his seat, catching Neji's attention. "That was an amazing catch, man. I'm so glad she's okay," he said enthusiastically.
...
After the fainting scare, the next few contestants went by uneventfully. Shikamaru barely even paid attention, scribbling random numbers on the score sheet and staring blankly ahead. He felt distracted for reasons unknown even to him, and it felt like this contest was dragging on forever. Why had he agreed to do this?
"Our last contestant is our very own Sakura Haruno!" Kakashi read from his card, sounding mildly amused. That definitely got Shikamaru's attention.
The curtains parted and the pink-haired kunoichi walked out onto the stage in a plain red halter bikini. She bore a beautiful smile on her face, a somewhat shy but determined grin. She knew she was beautiful, Shikamaru was sure of it. He looked down at the judging scorecard, trying not to stare for too long.
"Go Sakuraaaa!" Naruto cried, standing up. He had a wide grin on his face, a faint blush tinting his tanned cheeks. "You look great!"
Sakura looked at her teammate and beamed. Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow and looked up at the pink-haired kunoichi on stage. He half-expected her to beat Naruto for ogling, but maybe she was taking it as encouragement…? Either way, she was a sight to behold and he didn't question it further.
"I don't know why you've got your pants in a twist over her, Naruto," Kiba interjected rather loudly.
Shikamaru stared straight ahead, but his attention was now on the conversation happening next to him.
Naruto sat back down in his seat and looked over at his dog-like friend. "Huh? What do you mean?"
Kiba shrugged. "I mean, she's cute and all but she's definitely no Ino or Hinata or… well, anyone else, really."
Naruto squinted up at the stage, a confused look on his face. "Well, she's Sakura-chan, I think she's beautiful! I s'pose you're right though. Her boobs are so small compared to everyone else here, and she does have a flatter ass, but…"
Shikamaru frowned and gave them a sharp look. "Is that all you guys care about in a girl?" He asked, careful to sound as unenthused as usual but instead coming off as disgruntled. "There's more to a woman than her body you know."
Naruto crossed his arms and pouted. "Sheesh, no need to bite my head off."
Kiba quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah, what's it matter to ya anyways?"
Shikamaru looked to the side, wondering what to say next. He didn't mean to snap like that, but come on! That was pretty rude of them.
Still, why did it matter so much to him? Wasn't he supposed to be nonchalant about everything? Other people's comments shouldn't faze him, why should he care what they think about Sakura?
"It's nothing," he said finally. "Just forget about it."
"Whatever, man," Kiba said, turning to face the stage again. "Sakura's almost done anyways."
Sakura had turned around, and with a final wave to the audience, she began walking backstage.
"And that concludes this year's Konoha young kunoichi bikini contest. We'll let the judges tabulate the results and we'll be with you shortly to announce the winners," Kakashi said with a sigh.
Shikamaru looked down at Sakura's scorecard in front of him and bit his lip, thinking about what to say. With a smile, he began writing his comments.
...
"Hello everyone, thanks for your patience," Kakashi said. "Behind me are all of the *cough* lovely contestants from tonight. Before we announce the winners, let's give them all a round of applause."
Shikamaru brought his hands together and looked up on stage at all of the contestants. They were lined up in a large arc, all posing in their swimsuits. Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru put on a disgusted face and began clapping with the other judges.
"Now the results…" Kakashi began, pulling a card out of an envelope. "Congratulations to Ino Yamanaka, this year's miss Konoha young Kunoichi…"
Ino balled up her fists and squealed excitedly, turning to the girls around her and gesturing eagerly.
"…Runner-up," Kakashi finished pointedly, turning to shoot Ino a stern look.
Ino deflated a little, immediately pouting and crossing her arms defiantly. Shikamaru smirked a little. Someone needed to knock Ino down a peg and this was just perfect.
Captain Yamato entered the stage, wearing a white tux and carrying a small bouquet of flowers. He handed them to Ino sheepishly, her cerulean eyes shooting daggers at him. He bowed his head and quickly exited the stage.
"And now the moment you've all been waiting for…" Kakashi drawled, giving an eye-roll for good measure. "The winner of this year's young Kunoichi bikini contest is…."
*Dramatic pause*
Kakashi held up his card. "The winner is Hinata Hyuga."
Shikamaru smiled a little and began clapping, appreciating the outcome of the contest. At least the winner was humble and sweet and wouldn't let the title go to her head. He nudged Neji. "You proud?"
Neji was practically beaming. "Way to go, Hinata!" He cried uncharacteristically. He turned to the lazy genius. "You bet I am. Perhaps she'll realize her own strengths now."
Shikamaru smiled a lazy little smile and looked up on stage. Hinata was as red as a tomato and she looked positively mortified. The other girls had begun to crowd around her and congratulate her. Ino, though obviously upset that she had been beaten, actually seemed proud that Hinata had won. She had pushed her way to Hinata's side and was now talking to her.
Yamato entered the stage again, this time carrying a large bouquet of roses, a sash, and a tiara. He crowned Hinata and placed the sash over her shoulder, handing over the roses and gesturing towards the winner. Hinata shook her head, her eyes tightly screwed shut. Tenten placed a hand on Hinata's shoulder and pointed out at the judge's table. Hinata opened her eyes and peeked.
She saw Neji standing and clapping proudly, the other judges following suit. She smiled and bowed gratefully.
"And this concludes this year's contest," Kakashi said, standing in the center of the stage. Sighing audibly, he continued. "Thank you all for coming and remember that everyone is a winner. See you all next year." Shaking his head and dropping the cue card, he walked offstage.
Shikamaru stood up and stretched, sighing. "What a drag."
"What did you need me for, Lady Tsunade?" Shikamaru asked as he entered the Hokage's room and approached her cluttered desk. A few days had passed since the bikini contest and Shikamaru had settled into a very nice and relaxed routine of cloud-watching and napping.
He relished the fact that he hadn't been needed for anything major these past couple days and had grown used to being lazy. Still, it was about time Tsunade called on him again and he wasn't surprised in the least that his relaxing mini-vacation would have to come to an end.
"Ah Shikamaru, I'm glad you could get here so quickly," Tsunade said, promptly gesturing for him to come closer. She turned to Shizune and nodded. "Go fetch her," she ordered. "Yes m'lady," Shizune responded with a nod, leaving the room.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Fetch who?" He muttered.
"Your partner for this mission."
"Mission?"
Tsunade folded her hands and nodded. "Yes, I'm sending you on a mission and you definitely need to be briefed on its details. It's quite a doozy."
Shikamaru nodded. "Go on."
"It's going to take a lot of explanation and I'd rather explain most of it once your partner gets here. I suppose I can delve into the backstory a little. It all starts with the bikini contest."
Shikamaru smirked knowingly. "So there was an ulterior motive behind it. I suspected as much."
Tsunade gave him a curious look. "I suppose that would have been quite obvious to you. The four judges were picked by the girls just as you were told, that much is true, but I had a say in the matter as well. You see, this mission takes place in a beachside town and you two will need to spend a lot of time around each other in swim suits."
Shikamaru frowned and crossed his arms. "Uh-huh?"
"And because this mission requires very careful acting as you'll soon hear, we needed to assess your attitudes around attractive girls in bikinis. The four judges I picked are all very strong and very capable shinobi who can hold their own as needed, but you'll need to play your part appropriately and the judging gave insight into how you guys act around other girls."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and frowned. "And?"
Tsunade looked at him sternly. "You'd better take this seriously, it's important. We needed a male who would fit all of the criteria. If he was too loud or noisy about his opinions, he wouldn't make a good candidate when he was surrounded by other women on the beach. We needed a guy who won't be blinded by other beauties while paying full attention to his partner. She will be playing the role of your wife, and you need to pretend to have eyes for her and her only even though she isn't the most eye-catching girl on the beach."
Shikamaru made a sickened face. "This sounds like way too much work. What a drag."
"You fit all of the criteria that we needed. You're the perfect tactician and I know you will plan everything flawlessly without blowing your cover. You handled yourself very well at the bikini contest. You weren't loud or obnoxious like Kiba or Naruto."
Shikamaru crossed his arms. "What about Neji? I'm sure he could pull this off just as well as I can."
Tsunade gave Shikamaru a harsh stare. "You are not worming your way out of this one, Nara. You are more ideal for this than Neji because you weren't as disinterested as he was. Although Neji would be able to ignore the other girls on the beach, he also wouldn't be able to act out the part of having eyes only for his lover."
"And what makes you think I will only have eyes for my 'lover'?" Shikamaru asked.
Tsunade smiled for the first time in this conversation. "Because of the way you wrote about her."
Shikamaru's heart skipped a beat. That meant…
"She's here m'lady!" Shizune's voice called.
"Send her in," the Hokage ordered.
Shikamaru turned around and looked at the doorway. His heart-stopping realization had been right.
It was Sakura.
Shikamaru's pulse raced. He hoped that Tsunade wouldn't tell Sakura what he'd written about her. That would be absolutely mortifying.
"Oh, hello Shikamaru. What did you need m'lady?" Sakura asked as she approached the Hokage's desk.
"Good timing, Sakura. I was just beginning to brief Shikamaru on your mission. Glad you could join us."
Sakura looked puzzled. "Mission?" She asked, eyeing Shikamaru nervously. He was the only one here, so that meant… it was just them? They were going on a mission alone?
"So Sakura, as I already told Shikamaru this mission takes place in Tsumi, a small beachside town on the mainland border of the land of waves. You see, the next town over from Tsumi was completely wiped out in the past few months."
"Wiped out?" Shikamaru asked.
"Yes, completely wiped out. Most of the townspeople were killed, and the few survivors managed to flee. The citizens of Tsumi didn't think much of it until their people started dying too."
Sakura's jaw dropped. "What could it be?"
"Are we being sent to investigate, then?" Shikamaru asked.
Tsunade laced her fingers together. "Almost. We have our suspicions as to who could be behind this, but we need to know for sure before making moves. And – if our suspicions are correct – this will also be an assassination mission."
Sakura nodded. "So we go in, gather information, and kill once we know for sure?"
"Not quite," Tsunade said. "It's more complicated than that. You see, the killings all happened in a very suspicious way. Men would disappear from their homes only to show up dead weeks later. To me, this sounds like the work of Anzu Takara, a missing-nin who has a background in prostitution."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "And?"
"We need to kill Anzu before she begins killing off the citizens of Tsumi. This is a good chance for us to gain allies in the land of waves, and Tsumi is a small but influential port town. This could be to our advantage. We've come up with a way to get you two into town and in a position to gather information, but it will require precise acting and sharp intelligence, something I know the two of you have."
Sakura shook her head. "I'm a bit confused, m'lady. This whole thing seems pretty far-fetched. I mean, no offense against Shikamaru, but why us? What do we have to do with this whole scheme?"
"You see, we've decided to send a pair of ninja to pose as a married couple. You will be spending a lot of time at the beach to gather information and that is where the bikini contest came into play."
"The bikini contest was just a front?" Sakura asked, her voice rising slightly.
"We needed to find the perfect candidates for this mission. We need you guys to blend in and in order to do that, we needed a girl who was average-looking in a bikini. If you're too eye-catching, you'll draw unnecessary attention to yourselves."
Sakura's face grew red with anger. "Average -looking?!" She cried. "And I suppose this is me?!"
Shikamaru cringed, recalling the rather rude comments Naruto and Kiba were sharing. They must have been harsh in their scoring.
"Yes Sakura, the judges decided this."
Shikamaru could feel Sakura's eyes burning a hole in the side of his head and knew that it would be best not to make eye contact. His eyebrows were knitted into a firm scowl.
"Of course, that's how the female half of the couple was selected. The male half was also selected during the contest. The four judges were analyzed based on their behavior around women in swimsuits."
"Oh?" Sakura asked, her voice dripping with poison.
"In the end, we chose Shikamaru because he will handle himself well around tons of gorgeous women. You two are going to pretend to be married and deeply in love. You will spend time at the beach gathering information while pretending to be madly in love with one another. It needs to be convincing. Everyone who comes in contact with you needs to know that you are in love. It should feel natural and they should believe it without question."
Sakura made a rude noise. "And you want me to pretend I'm in love with him?! He was one of the judges! They're the pigs who think I'm just 'average-looking.'"
Tsunade smirked and nodded. "Actually Sakura, in his comments about you Shikamaru wrote –"
Shikamaru widened his eyes and looked at Tsunade like a deer in headlights. He shook his head wildly, silently pleading with the Hokage not to reveal what he said about Sakura.
Sakura growled loudly and stomped forward, leaning on the front of the Hokage's desk and breathing heavily. "I don't fucking want to hear what he said about me. How in the hell could I pretend to be in love with this – this – absolute scumbag?!"
"Sakura!" Tsunade cried angrily. "That is no way to talk in front of your Hokage! I am your superior and you will obey my orders. You will shut up right now or heaven forbid I will make you!"
Sakura flinched a little and looked down. "Alright m'lady," she said in a tiny voice.
Shikamaru stared at Sakura, his lips pressed together in a thin line and his eyes glazed over with hurt. He could tell her how he actually felt, sure, but what good would it do? She wouldn't believe him.
"Now where was I? Oh, I'll just start from the beginning. You two will pose as a couple who is very much in love. Although you will be surrounded by beautiful women on the beach, Shikamaru will only have eyes for you, Sakura. You will gather information on the killings and see if you can get any leads. If this is indeed Anzu we're dealing with then you'll need to kill her. Shikamaru, Anzu is beautiful but if you play your role correctly, you shouldn't be fazed by it. Don't forget that she is very dangerous. Remember, you only have eyes for your wife. Gain Anzu's trust and kill her without raising suspicion."
Shikamaru sighed and looked over at Sakura uncomfortably. She was absolutely livid. "What makes you so sure this is the work of Anzu?" He asked cautiously.
"As a prostitute, Anzu was well-known for being a dominatrix. She liked controlling and torturing her customers and the bodies of the victims seem to match her style. We think that she tortures men once she captures them and uses them for sex, keeping them imprisoned until they die a brutal death."
Shikamaru made a face, feeling like he knew where this was going. "And let me guess, you want me to get captured and kill her when she's vulnerable?"
Tsunade smiled grimly. "That's the plan. You can use your quick wit and power of analysis to make sure you don't become another victim, and Sakura can provide all of the backup you need to complete the assassination."
Sakura clenched her fists at her sides. "This isn't fair! Tsunade, how could you do something like this?!"
"Sakura, this is about the mission. People are dying."
Sakura shook her head, her eyes burning dangerously. "How could you just let them insult me like that?! This is humiliating! I don't want to do this." Her voice was dark and angry with pained undertones.
Tsunade slammed a fist onto her desk and stood up furiously. "Sakura this is an ORDER and for the last time, you are going on this mission. I understand that you are hurt, but pull yourself together and suck it up, dammit. I never thought I would be disrespected like this by my own pupil."
Sakura's eyes widened and she fell silent. Shikamaru eyed her nervously, the air thick with her suppressed anger.
"You two will leave right away. I want you to handle this as adults. Do NOT let emotions get in the way of this mission's success," Tsunade said pointedly, looking at Sakura. "The most important thing is that it all goes according to plan and no one gets hurt. Understand?"
Shikamaru nodded. "Understood."
Well, what do you guys think so far? Do you like it? Please leave a review if you can, that would just make my day! :) Constructive criticism is appreciated, but please don't be mean.
I wrote the bikini contest thing many many years ago (back in the awkward days of middle school) and stumbled upon the old fic in my room. I decided to expand on the idea and make it into a more viable story, and this is what came of it!
Again, thank you for reading! I should update pretty regularly so please review review review!
-Gallade