Title: Goodbye For Now

Author: RavynFayre

Pairing: Harry/Ron

Rating: PG-13 for male/male relationship.

Summary: He makes a promise, and remembers where his future lies.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, which will become painfully obvious when you begin to read. They are probably owned by a combination of any or all of the following: J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic, etc.

Homepage: http://www24.brinkster.com/slashhaven/default.htm

I found the box stashed behind the wallboard where we had kept it for fifteen years. Either no one had discovered it, or if they had, they recognized its contents were harmless and let it be.

A red head peeked in through the open door. I didn't look to see which one. It didn't matter. "Are you alright? Anything we can do?" it asked.

I shook my head. Only one person had heard me speak during the past three weeks, so no response was expected. I dragged my attention away from the box for only a moment to see the doorway once again empty. I sighed deeply and disapparated.

Back to our flat. I wanted to keep the box with me now, where it rightfully belonged. Closer, where I could look through it anytime I wanted. Times when I needed it, like now, about 3 a.m., when the demons roused me.

I can't believe that you're really gone now,

Seems like it's all just a dream.

What was I looking for? Oh, yes. A reason to get out of bed in the mornings. I'd managed for three weeks now, but it was getting harder and harder. I needed something to keep me going.

How can it be that the world will go on

When something has died within me?

It was there, I could almost see it. Flickering at the edge of my mind, taunting me, but I couldn't get a good hold on it. I had to find it soon, or I knew I wouldn't last out the month.

Leaves will turn

My heart will burn

With colors of you.

"Daddy?" a sleepy voice called.

Of course. It was here all the time. "In here," I answered softly. "Come sit with me."

I watched the toddler pad down the hallway in his footed Merlin pajamas. I smiled as this beautiful creature crawled into my lap and snuggled against my chest.

"Where did you go, Daddy. I heard your 'pop'," he giggled.

"I went to get this," I answered, opening the box.

"That's you and Daddy, isn't it?" the boy pointed toward a photo lying on top in the box.

"Yes, it is."

I'll miss you.

Our last day at Hogwarts. Colin Creevey had taken this picture of just the two of us. Arms around each other's shoulders, smiling. Ready to take on the world. And that's exactly what we had done. And we had done it together, just like we'd always planned.

Our photo images winked at me. I remembered sneaking into each other's beds in the middle of the night, making all those plans for our future.

Snow will fall, but I'll recall your warmth.

Summer wind, breathing in your memory.

Our ten post-Hogwarts years came rushing back. The war had started only weeks after graduation. For two years, we had stood shoulder to shoulder with our classmates and legions of fellow wizards.

Suddenly, or seemingly so, it was over. We had defeated the Dark Lord together. Then we set about making our late-night dreams come true.

But there will be a time when I'll see your face

And I'll hear your voice

And there we will laugh again.

I leafed through the photos, our son marveling that his fathers had a life before he came along.

"That's an old picture," the boy said. "I see you and Daddy, Grams and Gramps, Aunt Ginny and Uncle George. Who are those other people?"

My hands began to shake as I studied the family photo, taken before our return to Hogwarts at the beginning of year seven. I identified the relatives the boy had never met. "They're you're other uncles. Fred, Percy, Bill and Charlie."

"So you had . . . ." the boy counted on his fingers, "five brothers and one sister? Wow."

And there will come a day when I'll hold you close.

No more tears to cry, 'cause we'll have forever.

"Wicked," the boy whispered, studying a photo of his fathers. "Cool robes."

Our wedding photo, five years ago. We had chosen matching robes in our Gryffindor house color of scarlet. Harry had looked absolutely radiant.

"You and Daddy looked happy," the boy remarked.

"We were. Very happy."

But I'll say goodbye for now.

"Where am I?" the boy asked. "Why won't have I robes like that?"

"Because we didn't have you when this picture was taken. We were married five years ago, and you didn't come along until four years ago."

I can't imagine my life without you.

"You have to promise me," he'd pleaded. "I love Molly, and she did a wonderful job raising her family, but he needs you."

"He needs *us*," I insisted.

"We don't have much choice in that now, do we?"

I'd held his hand, sobbing into the mattress night after night while he slept. I knew what he wanted from me. I hated myself that he had to remind me.

"Promise me." His eyes retained their intensity, even while he was dying.

"I promise." I never made a promise to Harry that I didn't keep.

You held a place all your own.

"Can I have this picture?" he asked me, clutching our wedding photo. "I want to put it by my bed so I can say goodnight to Daddy every night before I go to sleep."

"Of course. I'm sure he'd like that."

Just knowing you were beneath the same sky.

"That's the paper that's all about Daddy, isn't it?"

"Yes." The Daily Prophet had run a special edition about The Boy Who Lived, most of it rehashing what everyone already knew. Page after page, thrilling tales of Voldemort's attempts to regain power, and his ultimate defeat at the hands of a man who'd barely left his boyhood behind. Since happiness doesn't sell newspapers, the picture of the three of us as a family, smiling and waving, and the article covering Harry's much less exciting latter eight years, were relegated to the last page.

Oh what a joy I have known.

The boy poked the next picture with his finger. "And that's a picture of me. See, it has my name on the bottom. James Albus Potter Weasley."

Our son. A shocking but pleasant mixture of his fathers. No one could explain how it happened. Red hair and fierce green eyes, the haze of sleep now almost faded.

Every time I looked into them, I saw Harry. I was grateful to have this small piece of him still here with me.

On rainy days, in many ways you'll water my heart.

On starry nights I'll glimpse the light of your smile.

"Time for little boys to be in bed. Get to sleep real fast and we'll go to the park tomorrow.

"Will you ride the swings with me?"

"Anything you want."

"Tomorrow, Daddy? Promise?"

Never far from my heart you'll stay with me.

"Tomorrow. I promise."

So I'll wait

I tucked him back in bed, placed our photo on the bedside table and returned to the box, full of so many memories.

The box that contained the story of my life, which really began when I met Harry Potter. I never imagined I'd have to do this alone. I certainly never wanted to. But I made a promise.

Two promises, actually. I should be getting to bed now. I imagine someone will be waking me up fairly early in the morning.

But there will be a time when I'll see your face

And I'll hear your voice

And there we will laugh again.

And there will come a day when I'll hold you close.

No more tears to cry, 'cause we'll have forever.

But I'll say goodbye for now.

~*~*~*~*~*THE END~*~*~*~*~*

Goodbye For Now - Lyrics by Kathy Troccoli

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