Merry Fricking Christmas, a harry potter fanfic

Merry Fricking Christmas

A/N: I heard this song and I just HAD to write a quick one-shot. I hope you guys enjoy it. Happy Holidays.

Schools out, Christmas break.
Home for the holiday's meatloaf and fruitcake.
Off to grandmas, it's so boring.
Screaming kids and grandpa's snoring…

George sat back and watched as relatives from all over poured in the door, the snow flowing into his grandmother's kitchen. Everyone smiled and hugged. Seeing him, his aunts smiled and started towards him. He groaned and in his attempt to hide, they surrounded him, pulling him down to their level by his shoulders. Once the attack of kissing and cheek pinching had finished, George reached up and wiped off the bright red lip stick from his cheeks and forehead. Holding in a laugh, he watched one of his aunts, who had already clearly been drinking, trip.

My aunt Margaret's lost her mind.
She's tripping on a train set,
have another box of wine…

George let out a sigh of relief when Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione walked in, taking the attention from the family. They were soon lost in a sea of unknown relatives. He smirked when he heard Ron complain that they were going to bruise him if they pinched his cheeks any harder. Using this opportunity, he refilled his goblet with some alcoholic beverage, he didn't quite care what it was as long as it got him drunk. Returning to the couch, he watched as his nieces and nephews ran around the house screaming. Taking a sip he closed his eyes and smiled when he heard another yell of pain come from the herd of aunts where Ron was currently cornered by.

It's gonna be a merry, merry, merry frickin' Christmas.
I must be on Santa clauses shit list.
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss.
Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relatives.
Have a merry, merry, merry frickin' Christmas…

George's eyes shot open when he heard something that sounded as if a cat was being skinned alive. Looking around, he saw that his cousin was attempting to sing "the 12 nights of Christmas." Standing up, he maneuvered his way through the sea of people, only to get an arm thrown around his shoulder from one of his uncles.

"Did I ever show you the pictures of when your aunt Margaret and I went to the Caribbean?" He asked, holding some pictures up in George's face.

Uncle Richard, he's a weirdo!
Passing out pictures of himself in a Speedo.
My cousin Ashley, her singing really sucks.
Blames it on her drummer and her acid reflux…

When he had finally freed himself from his uncle's clutches, he refilled his goblet and made his way down the hallway. He let out a surprised gasp when someone grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into the bathroom. Seeing who it was, he placed his goblet on the counter and captured Hermione's lips with his. Lifting her up, Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist and he pressed her against the door.

My brother's wife is really hot.
She pulled me in the bathroom;
I hope we don't get caught…

Twenty minutes later, Hermione and George rejoined the party, relieved that no one even noticed they were gone. Not even Ron. George frowned when he saw his cousin, Iva, who had a disgustingly large crush on him. Having the same blood apparently, didn't make it strange to her. He had no where to run to, so he watched in horror has she made her way over to him. He desperately tried to find somewhere to hide but every which way he moved, there was a blockage of family members. Iva smiled, revealing her braces and yellow teeth. She pointed up towards the roof, and, with great fear, George looked up. Mistletoe. His eyes wide, he shook his head as Iva closed in, grabbing his face in both her hands and planted a large wet kiss directly on his lips.

He heard laughing and once Iva had left him to find Ron, he turned to see Hermione bent over, laughing. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed her hand. He needed to feel clean again. Pulling her back down the hallway to the bathroom, he closed the door, locking it behind him and lifted her up onto the counter, where he pushed her skirt up around her hips. Slamming his lips onto hers, he unbuckled his dress trousers. He felt Hermione smile into the kiss and wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

There was a quiet knocking on the bathroom door. Then Ron spoke, "Sweetie, are you okay in there?"

We haven't even opened our presents yet
but now it's time to start.
So I'll fake a smile 'cause its going back to Wal-Mart…

Hermione moaned as George slid into her and George smiled into the kiss. After another 20 minutes, the two of them rejoined the party, smoothing out hair and clothes. Everyone circled around the tree and fireplace to exchange gifts. Once the gifts were open and the pictures where taken, every one fell into conversations, games of exploding snaps, and drunken jokes. Falling back into the couch, a new goblet of alcohol in his hand, he was soon joined by Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. The five of them watched the party play out, small smiles playing on their lips. They unknowing all took a drink from their goblets at the same exact time. They all looked at each other, then back at the party. Their smiles faded as a group of aunts looked in their direction. They jumped from the couch in an attempt to get away, but they were cornered. The five of them grimaced as their cheeks were pulled and bright red lip stick marks were left over their faces…