"Zombie Ga-Ko"

in

"Teh Hunt For The Kerotans!"

Zombie Ga-Ko: Hi, It's me, Zombie Ga-Ko, formally known as "Ieriku", I got rid of my old name and my two storys for reasons unknown (wanted a fresh start), anyway here is my new ficcy, it's basically about the C.I.A. agent codenamed "Zombie Ga-Ko" and the events of what would have happened if he went on the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater in place of Naked Snake/Big Boss, It's a funny, heart warming story about one man, hunting down all toy frogs to save the world from world war III. so lets start shall we?

It All Begins With A Simple Sighting

It was dark, an american battle plane was flying in russian air space ready to help one man die.

"WHAT D'YA MEAN I'M JUMPING OUT THE MOTHER FUCKING PLANE!?!?!" shouted one man as he jumped up in shock at the order he just recived. "DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO JUMP OUT OF A FLYING WASHING MACHINE AND INTRUST MY LIFE IN A BED SHEET!?!?!?!" he shouted again, his grip tighting on the packet of candy cigs he had in his hand.

"We have been reasured time and time again, it is a completely safe, trail and tested way of getting to the ground quickly and safely." said another man over an intercom, he had a stereo typical british accent.

"REALLY? HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE DONE...-"

"Opening rear hatch" said a person in a mask, he pulled the leaver and the back of the "washing machine" opened

"ROFLMAO, YOU SAID REAR!!!!" said the dude with the packet of candy as he moved towards the back of the plane ready to jump.

"a moment ago you where against jumping?" said the british guy over the intercom

"I'D RATHER JUMP OUT OF A CLEANING MACHINE O' DOOM THEN SPEND MY TIME WITH GAY-ZO HERE, LOLZ REAR" he pulled the cheesyest smile and jumped, clean forgetting his mask, parachute, bag of medical supplies and his calorie mates.

"I REGRET NOTHING YOU MOTHER FUCKING DOUCHE BAG NOOB AIM HAXXORZ!!!!!!" he shouted, falling to his end.

The british let out a sigh and pushed the intercom button.

"brace yourself people, looks like we'll be fighting world war III." he lent back in his chair, closed his eyes and began counting to 30.

(25 seconds later)

"5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

suddenly there was a burst of static from the radio.

"LOLZ, FUCK AM I DYING THAT EASY I'M THE MAIN GUY IN THIS MISSION FUCK NUGGETS."

For some reason the guy from britan knew he was smiling.

"How the hell are you still alive?" he asked the guy who he still knew was smiling

"IT WAS EASY NOOB, JUST BEFORE I HIT THE FLOOR I THREW MY BOX OF CANDY ON THE FLOOR AND USED THE BOX FOR A SOFT LANDING, ANY ONE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT YOU FRIGGIN NOOB, IT MAKES WAY MORE SENCE THEN THAT SHEET OF PLASTIC YOU CALL A PARACHUTE!!!!"

It when silent.

"yyyeeeaaa, how about we go over are codenames. O.K?" said the british guy.

"OK YOU NOOB HAXXORZ LOLZ, JK JK, MY CODENAMES 'ZOMBIE GA-KO' WHAT'S YOURS!?!?!?"

"huh? well, i guess you can call me major tom"

"YOU MEAN TOM AS IN ONE OF THE UNLUCKY TUNNELS THAT GOT DISCOVERED IN THE FILM 'THE GREAT ESCAPE'!?!?!"

"no, tom as in my name is tom lovejoy"

"LOLZ, LOVE IS JOY, THAT'S WHY MY GF SAYS EVERY NIGHT, BOW CHIKA BOW WOW!!!!!"

"yyyeeeaaa. ok, so you must remember this is a sneaking mission, as in you complete the mission ith out being seen, or heard, so no shouting, ok?" explained major tom, all the time he was thinking that he should have chose that guy who trained with the boss.

"kk dude, but just as long as you promise to join my clan on MGS4 when it comes out, deal?" said Ga-Ko, putting his hands together almost praying.

"MGS4 isn't out yet, it's 1964, not 2008" said major tom, confused as hell.

"Is it? fuck. I HATE YOU FUTURE GENERATIONS YOU HAXXOR FUCKS!!!!!" shouted Ga-Ko "all you MGS fan boys wanna kill me cause I licked david hayter" after he said that he went gean simmons style with his tounge (gean simmons used to play base for a band called KISS, ask your dad younger readers )

"You're a fucking freak" said major tom.

"AND YOUR A NOOB HAXXOR FAGGOT!!!!!" Shouted Ga-Ko.

Major tom took a deep breathe in, and then breathed out.

"I'm now gonna introduce you to your support team over the radio, first is para-medic" there was a burst of static and suddenly there was a female voice on the other end of the radio.

"Hello Zombie Ga-Ko...-"

"OH MY GAWD HOTNESS, I WANNA BANG YOU!!!!!" shouted Ga-Ko down the radio.

"I see you have watched Metal Gear Awesome" said para-medic, actually sounding impressed.

"WATCHED IT? I'VE FUCKING MEMORIZED IT BIATCH!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Ga-Ko.

Before para-medic could respond Ga-Ko heard a sort of sound a frog makes.

"TEH FUCK WAS THAT!?!?!?!" shouted Ga-Ko, drawing his gun (how the fuck did he get a gun?) and moving towards the sound, just then he heard it again.

"BACK THE FUCK OFF, I PLAY COUNTER STRIKE!!!!" Ga-Ko shouted at nothing. Then he looked up to see nothing but a toy frog, but Ga-Ko being Ga-Ko he shot it right away like the retard he is, and that sound keeped playing, he shot it again and it made the same noise. he kept pumping lead into the thing but it kept going.

(30 minutes later)

the thing has finally died, but Ga-Ko was out of ammo.

"FUCK YOU DOUCHE BAG GREEN SHIT, I'M GONNA SHOT YOUR WIFE, YOUR KIDS, YOU MOM AND DAD, YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!" shouted Ga-Ko as he began to throw rocks at the green thing, one finally hit and it started making the noice again.

(Ga-Ko now said many many words that kojima productions said where not able to be put in this fan fiction or to be said on the same page with MGS, so instead i shall tell you to picture if the queen has ever pulled a blanket up just so her head is showing and then said "phillip, phillip, look at me, i'm a stamp")

"this is gonna be a looooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng mission" said major tom, bashing his head on his deask as hard as he could.

Zombie Ga-Ko: thanks for reading, if you made it this far, weldone you shall recieve a copy of the MGS4 Beta (but it's pointless cause there are no servers for europe, or america, if theres and yankees reading... yyyeeeaaa, go american football, the padded version of rugby, you pansys)

P.S.: that was just a rant, i love america, you gave us McDonalds, and we thank you, in the form of obisaty .