I knew not of pain or suffering, how could I understand him? How could I ever be his equal when he was in fact a complete stranger to me?
Who was that boy? No who was that man?
What happened to the person I loved and cared for… he was non-existent, a person I had made up. I had hoped to shape him to be this ideal, but it was only shallow thoughts and wishes. I had been selfish and young.
Cool, strong, handsome, tsundere.
A character pulled out of a story, where he would declare his love for me and sweep me off my feet. That's what was supposed to happen, that's what I hoped for anyways.
Even now I cannot deny my selfish desires, they burn within my gut and heart, a feeling that won't go away even with all my attempts to try to bury and forget it.
It's useless, I know, to hope for something that is unattainable, for someone that did not exist and who view you as an enemy – that only want to cut you down and leave you in the dust.
That is the man I loved: a heartless wretch who gave no second thought to me.
All the time I spent getting stronger was for naught, it's wasted away the second I see his face: past emotions swell and I break. It's as easy as that, and it angers me.
I really want to show him how much I changed, how much I grew. I had so much to prove yet in the end it didn't matter, I can only stand on the sidelines and watch the world burn around me. All because of him.
It hurts to admit it. This stranger was, is, a man that I love.
The more I try the farther out of reach he gets. Slipping out of my grasp, I'm left behind, nothing really new.
My heart is torn.
There's the man I've been chasing after for years and the friend that has stayed by my side. I've been a horrible friend, even when I try my best it is never enough.
They are both beyond my reach, I can only hope and struggle to attain them.
What did I know of their pain?
AN: My take on Sakura's inner struggle. This is more proSaku and less SasuSaku, personally I think Sakura can do much better than Sasuke. Never mind my personal crack pairing preference, I'm thinking of canon and keeping an open and realistic mind on Sakura's character. So what is beneficial for her in order to 'evolve'.
She can be strong, independent, and intelligent yet those characteristics are always under minded when Sasuke is brought into the picture. Damn it Kishi why do you make the female characters emotional wrecks and 'boy-crazy'.