First fic, don't kill me.
I do not own Glee or "Need You Now"

Blaine frantically rummaged through the assortment of outerwear hanging in his childhood closet. He had come home to spend December with his parents and it was an unexpectedly cold day. As he checked and vetoed jacket after jacket, a blue and red blazer made him stop. It wasn't the blazer itself, but rather the memories it back in a flash flood of pure bliss then sudden heartache. His fingers absentmindedly traced over the embellished "D" embroidered on the breast pocket. His eyes closed as he remembered one of the last times he had worn this uniform, it was a painful day to relive.

"Hey, Babe" Blaine trotted the hall to meet Kurt with a bright smile on his face.

"Hey." When Blaine went to kiss Kurt, Kurt turned his head to the side with a serious look on his face.

The darker haired boy's face fell "What's wrong?"

"Blaine," Blaine knew what was coming before the words had left the other's lips, "I hate to be so terribly cliché but," Kurt took a steadying breath, "we need to talk."

Suddenly any blissful joy that came with seeing his boyfriend after the final bell on a Friday left Blaine's body. He swallowed and blinked a few times before stuttering "Um, o-okay." He decided to play along, pretend he didn't know exactly what it was they 'needed to talk' about. Pretended that this was the first time Kurt's voice had been so heavily laden with emotional distress.

The taller boy made no effort to take his hand and lead him into an empty classroom as Blaine had done to him so many times before, but under happier circumstances. When he had closed the door, without looking at him, Kurt said, "Maybe you should sit down." Blaine shook his head defiantly. "Are you going to break up with me, Kurt? Because if you are –"

"No, please Blaine, sit down I –"

"I will not sit down!" Blaine's heart broke at the look on Kurt's face; he must have known Blaine would be difficult. He, like Kurt, was very stubborn.

"Blaine, please listen to me –"

"No, Kurt. I am not going to sit down and listen to you talk about how you think when I go to college I won't want to have a boyfriend waiting for me at home. We have talked about this before! I don't care – I want a boyfriend waiting for me." Why did they have to fight about this? Blaine loved him, why couldn't he just accept that?

"But if you meet someone and –"

"And what, Kurt?" He was beginning to raise his voice, his calm demeanor was slipping away, "Do you think I am the kind of guy that would up and leave a committed relationship so I can have drunken one night stands?"

"No, Blaine –"

"Then WHAT? Why are you so insistent on us not being together?" He stopped for a moment as realization washed over him. His voice was quite now "Have – have you met someone else...is that why? If it is, don't let me hold you back Kurt; you can do whatever you want. I'm done with this. If you want me to go off to college so you can spend quality time with your new squeeze, don't let me get in your way."

Kurt just stared at Blaine for a moment in shock...how he could think… "Yes, Blaine. That's it." All the anger left Blaine's face, letting out a small, barely audible "oh" as he dropped his gaze to the floor and headed to the door. "No, wait please don't go –" Kurt grabbed the sleeve of Blaine's blazer.

He didn't know why he said it, but he yanked his arm away from Kurt's grasp with more force than what was needed, spun around and glared at him. "Fuck you." He spat. He would never forget the look he saw on Kurt's face just before he turned on his heels and slammed the classroom door shut.

There was a knock on his front door, Blaine jumped shook his head violently. That was in the past. He hadn't talked to Kurt since the day his graduation. Now was not the time to start thinking about him, he needed to be in a good mood. Tonight was supposed to be fun. He was going clubbing with Wes and David who were in town, visiting their families' for Christmas. Blaine tugged the black pea coat down from its hanger. As he did so, a box that was precariously placed on a shelf in his closet tumbled to the floor, scattering its contents across the bedroom floor. "Shit" He muttered. He would have to clean it up when he got home later that night; his old friends were waiting for him.

Several hours later, Blaine stumbled up the staircase, he would realize in the morning he had a little too much to drink. He would make the connection between his drinking and the memory of Kurt. Blaine fumbled with the doorknob on his bedroom door and staggered in as the it unexpectedly fell open. He tripped over a throw rug and fell to the floor. "Ow, fuck. What is this?" He pulled a photo cube out from under his side.

Picture perfect memories

Scattered all around the floor

Reaching for the phone 'cause

I can't fight it anymore

Blaine turned the cube over and over in his hands; all six photos were of him and Kurt. "Fuck this." He tossed it over his shoulder and looked around him, on the floor there were dozens of photographs, love notes and trinkets surrounding him. He realized the box he had knocked down earlier must have been where he had kept all the remnants of his and Kurt's relationship. He picked up a piece of blue paper that had been folded into fourths. He gasped this was the stationary that Kurt wrote all of his notes to Blaine on, his hands shook as he carefully unfolded it.

And I wonder if I

Ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time.

Blaine quickly realized he had never read this note. But he remembered being given it. Kurt had pressed it into his chest, with tears in his eyes, as Blaine stood with his family in a cap and gown. Mouth fell open as he read:

Blaine,
I know you probably never want to see me again but please, please, read this. I don't deserve it but please, I need you to hear my side.
I lied to you.
I don't know when you are reading this, so let me clarify myself. I lied to you about finding someone else. I knew it was the only way to make you leave me. I need you to go to college and experience it in its fullest. No, I do not think you are the "type of guy who would up and leave me for a few drunken one night stands" but I don't want you to be the guy who resents his boyfriend for the rest of his life for not being able to have those drunken one night stands. Or the type of guy who wakes up to a man who is not his boyfriend and feels guilty for it because he was drunk and made a mistake. I don't want to be the boyfriend that ties you down to Lima, Ohio. I want you to be free. I want you to be able to date other people who aren't from this small, narrow minded town and, as much as it pains me to say, I want you to be able to fall in love with someone if you wanted to.
I love you Blaine. I always will. I'm sorry. If you ever forgive me, please call me, My number is: (***)***-****

With all (I really do mean all) my love,
Kurt Hummel

Blaine took a minute to digest all he had read. He had gone to college as broken hearted but free man. He had fully experienced college just as Kurt wanted him too. He had, though he was not proud of it, had a few drunken one night stands. He had even had a few boyfriends but he was never as happy with any of them as he was with Kurt. Blaine's hand shot to his pocket and pulled out his phone and hurriedly dialed the number before hitting the red "end" button. He couldn't call Kurt now. He probably didn't even remember him.

It's a quarter after one

I'm a little drunk

And I need you now

Said I wouldn't call

But I've lost all control

And I need you now.

He picked up the picture that was nearest to his left hand. It was of him and Kurt in a coffee shop in Hollywood, California. They had taken a road trip with some of Kurt's friends from McKinley. He remembered the Barista this picture and somewhere there were plenty others like it. Kurt was wearing one of the many scarves Blaine had given him over the duration of their friendship. This one was Blaine's favorite because it was just the right color to make Kurt's eyes pop dramatically. Blaine could not help but wonder if Kurt had kept all the scarves. He sighed and put it down just to pick up another.

Blaine glanced down at a picture of Kurt sitting on Blaine's bed, his legs were crossed and he had an irritated look on his face. Blaine guessed it was due to the atrociously tacky "Happy new years!" hat he was wearing. Blaine chuckled, then his eyes welled with tears and he re-read the letter dated four and a half years previously.

And I don't know howI can do withoutI just need you now

He dialed Kurt's number for the second time, this time he pushed "send." He pressed the phone to his ear as his hand trembled. It rang once...twice…three times and Blaine hung up. He was being foolish. Kurt was at college now. Who was he to bother Kurt when Kurt had wanted him to be free? For all he knew Kurt had a boyfriend. For all he knew Kurt had forgotten about Blaine, forgotten about the boy who swooped in and became his knight in shining armor and saved him from the demons that waked the halls at his old school. Forgotten about the months they had spent teaching each other how to love one another, forgotten about the boy who was his first kiss, who was his first lover. Blaine knew it was the alcohol making him think this way – sappy and nostalgic. He picked up another picture. It had been taken a few days before Blaine's 18th birthday. Blaine gasped and nearly dropped the picture and, just as they had when he saw his school uniform, the memories of that night rushed back to him as vividly as if he were living it now.

"Blaaaaiinne." Kurt had begged.

"No."

"Blaine come on, stop being so difficult."

"No." He repeated firmly. They were sitting in a restaurant.

"Blaine I am paying. It's your birthday."

"My birthday is next week."

"You know what I mean. Let me pay." Kurt frowned.

"Fine. Vous êtes très têtu, Kurt Hummel." You are very stubborn Blaine smiled softly, "Thank you."

"Et vous n'êtes pas têtu?" And you're not stuborn? Kurt snorted as he threw down two twenty dollar bills. "Now come on. My parents are gone this weekend and Finn will be at a New Directions thing until late. You are spending the night. No argument"

"I – What?"

"No argument."

That night they had made love. Their "first time" had been...interesting. It was awkward and romantic and comical and wonderful and many other things but above all it was right. There was nothing sinful or shameful about it; nothing wrong or discussing. Blaine let his mind relive the night before he said aloud, "Fuck it."

Whoa, whoa

Guess I'd rather hurt

Than feel nothing at all

Once again he dialed Kurt's number but he did not hang up and on the first ring, "Blaine?" Kurt's voice sounded hesitant, as if he was expecting to be yelled at.

"Kurt."

"Blaine, are you drunk?"

"Maybe a 'lil bit" Blaine giggled, "Did I wake up you?"

"Uh no, I'm working on a term paper."

"Oh, I guess I'll let you work on it"

"No its fine I'm almost done, it can wait." Blaine could hear in his voice that Kurt was smiling, which made him smile. "Why did you call?"

It's a quarter after one

I'm all alone

And I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call

But I'm a little drunk

And I need you now

"J'ai lu votre lettre" I read your letter Blaine had always had a habit of speaking French to Kurt without realizing it. The old habit must have come back with the sound of the familiar a few moments passed.

"Kurt, are you still there?"

"Yes...I just – I had forgotten about that letter."

He knew it! He shouldn't have called, he was being stupid. Kurt probably had a boy in his room right now. God, what an idiot. He spoke quickly and more slurred but he could not hide the pain in his voice, "Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. I don't know why...I guess I just thought….anyway I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry I bothered you. Goodbye, Kurt."

"NO!" Kurt nearly screamed into the phone. "Wait, please, don't go." Blaine didn't move. Those were the exact words Kurt had said to him years ago. But this time he listened. He didn't slam the door and go back to his dorm seething. He sat on his bedroom floor for hours and talked to Kurt about everything and anything. They talked about pointless things and said things they wished they had said sooner.

At nearly 4am Kurt said in a sing song voice, "Blaaaaaine it sounds like you are falling asleep."

"Hehehe I think I am"

"Good night, Blaine."

"Kurt, you're comin' home for Christmas?"

"Yes, I'm leaving on Thursday"

"Can I see you then?" Blaine asked cautiously.

"Yes."

"Coffee?"

"Coffee."

"Kurt?"

"Yes, Blaine?"

"Je t'aime." I love you He was drunk but he had never meant anything more sincerely in his life.

There was a small gasp from the other end and Kurt whispered, "Je t'aime aussi, Blaine, je n'ai jamais arrêté." I love you too, Blaine, I never stopped Something about the way Kurt's voice sounded made Blaine think that maybe Kurt was crying but before he could do anything about it his cell phone slipped to the floor with a small thump and he was asleep.