A/N: I thought this up randomly while eating a banana in my kitchen. Don't judge me. It's just a random crack fic, so don't I hope I don't offend anyone
Disclaimer: I don't own Free!
Hazuki Nagisa was never one to eat a balanced meal. He always preferred eating junk food, and all kinds of unhealthy things, like the Iwatobi Speciality Cream Bread* from the cafeteria. So when his mother finally packed a lunch for him instead of making him buy food from school, it was indeed a surprise. She told him, "I decided it was time for you to start eating healthy food, so no more allowance for you. I'll be giving you a lunch every day from now on." He wanted to protest, but she was the kind of mother who won't take no for an answer. Hence, here he was, sitting on the rooftop of school as usual with his friends, the Iwatobi Swim Team, eating lunch together.
"Hey Nagisa, that's the first time I've seen you bring a packed lunch to school. What is it?" Makoto questioned, looking over.
Opening his lunchbox, he found rice with salted vegetables, abit of mackerel, and a banana. "Oh, my mother packed it and gave it to me this morning." He replied bluntly, upset that he couldn't have any sweet foods today.
Looking over, Haru spotted the mackerel, and reached for it with his chopsticks. "Can I have that mackerel?"
"No, Haru-chan. This is mine, I have nothing else to eat today." Nagisa retorted, pulling away his lunchbox from Haru's greedy hands. "Your lunch is already so full of mackerel, why would you want more?"
"You can never have enough mackerel."
"I rest my case."
Looking over to Makoto, it was rather unusual for the larger boy to not have a lunch packed. He was simply sitting against the wall, staring into space, looking surprisingly grumpy.
"Hey Makoto-senpai, what's wrong?" Rei asked, looking over. "It's unusual to see you without food, and more unusual to see you grumpy."
Now Makoto had a particularly bad day, and didn't feel like explaining himself to his friends. He stayed up late the previous night to study for an English test, his worst subject. As a result of over-studying, he fell asleep on his table, and overslept. By the time he awoke, he had only 10 minutes to get to school. Not bothering to get Haru today, he scrambled to get ready and ran down to the kitchen, hoping to grab the usual lunchbox his mother left on the table. To his dismay, there wasn't one, and the table was empty. Not having any time to waste, he sped out of the house and ran to school. On his way, a truck drove over a puddle near the sidewalk, and splashed dirty water all over his new school uniform. By the time he got to class, homeroom (first period) was over, and it was time for his English test to start. Seeing Haru sitting at his desk nonchalantly pissed him off more, because that meant Haru hadn't bothered to get Makoto from his house when he was late. During the English test, one glance at the paper told him he studied the wrong chapter, all for nothing, and he flunked his way through the test. To make his day worse, during lunch period, he thought he could go buy something from the cafeteria, but found he left his wallet at home in his hurry in the morning. So here he was, sulking on the rooftop with his friends.
"I'm fine." He grumpily stated.
"Hey Mako-chan, do you want some of my lunch?" Nagisa offered, holding out the banana from his lunchbox. "You can have this and some of the vegetables if you want."
Too tired to process anything, he snatched the fruit from Nagisa's hand and peeled it open.
In an attempt to cheer his friend up, Nagisa suddenly piped up. "Hey Mako-chan, do you know what you're eating?"
"I don't know, at this point anything is fine." He groggily grumbled.
"Mako-chan, that's called a BANANA." Nagisa pouted.
"So what?" Makoto was in no mood to deal with Nagisa's nonsense today.
"Mako-chan, your surname is TachiBANA right?"
"And your point is…?"
"TachiBANA-san is eating a BANAna!" he laughed at his own joke.
"I see, a play on words, Nagisa-kun. This pun would work best in English though." Rei stated, doing his trademark glasses push.
"I know right, Rei-chan?"
Now at this point, poor Makoto could feel a tick mark growing on his forehead. He had finished eating, and used the banana peel to slap Nagisa straight in the face.
"Ow! Mako-chan, what was that for?!" Nagisa complained.
"For insulting me. I'll admit, you made me laugh a little." He mumbled, smiling for the first time today.
"At least I managed to make you smile Mako-chan!" Nagisa smiled back.
Nagisa turned back to his lunch to continue eating, when he realized his mackerel was gone. Turning to Haru, he gave an accusing stare. "Haru-chan, did you eat my fish?"
"I did no such thing." Haru bluntly stated, feigning innocence.
"Haru-chan, you're the only one who would do this…" Makoto laughed at his friend, his first laugh for the day.
With this, Rei, Nagisa, and Makoto burst into laughter, while Haru simply looked away.
"But really, Nagisa-kun, that play on words with Makoto-senpai's name was really good." Rei smiled at the team. "Maybe we should call him banana-kun!"
"I guess so…" Makoto laughed back. "But don't you guys dare to call me that!"
A/N: Well, that's it. Kinda terrible for a crack fic, but I couldn't help myself. In Japanese, banana is also pronounced banana. The Iwatobi Cream bread I mentioned was shown in Eternal Summer, can't remember which episode, but you can find it on Youtube called "Gou's surprise Bento Check". According to Nagisa, 1 costs 480 Yen (SGD 5.50, USD 4). Anyways, hope you enjoyed this weird fic. Reviews appreciated! XD