pairing kakashi hatake x reader
when it happens kakashi love song filler in naruto shippuden!
warnings lots and lots of angst
"Here is something I wasn't expecting, like... At all."
The voice of your ex boyfriend should have startled you, but you didn't even flinch. Perks of being used to someone's chakra that much.
"Kakashi." You greeted the shadow clone next to you, while not taking your eyes from the real one, next to a pretty girl. The thick branch you were currently standing made a strange noise when Kakashi appeared, so you were ready to move in case it fell. "I gotta say, babysit you was not on the top of my list for today... Or any day, actually."
"I got everything under control, y/n. She is not going everywhere." His tone was harsh, his pride showing. He stood by the tree trunk, hands tucked in his pants pocket as he watched you. Kakashi sighed deeply as he looked at your eyes, which were locked on the real him, shining bright with what he wanted to believe it was fondness and love. But he knew you better before assuming anything about you. "When did you stop believing my abilities?"
You couldn't hold the sight that left your body. Never, you wanted to reply, but you kept your mouth shut.
"That cloud looks like Naruto." You heard the original Kakashi speaking, his voice echoing through the tree while he was trying to get anything out of the woman - Hanare, you remembered. "And the next one... Is it Sasuke?"
From where you were standing, you could hear perfectly every word they were saying, and Hanare did get your attention once she started to talk about how a younger Kakashi taught her to look in the clouds when she felt alone. Breathing heavily, you tried to push to the back of your mind the thought that you were the one who told him that.
The fact alone that he used it with some random girl - even though it was ages ago - was enough for your blood boil in your veins.
"She could easily use some jutsu on you and get away. We are not aware about her abilities, just that she can get through Ibiki's torture. She is tough. I am not to be blamed if I am the fastest from ANBU." You frowned when you saw, between the leaves, the way the spy were looking at the original Kakashi. The look was way too familiar for you. It was the same you gave him.
"You seem jealous." He simply stated, his clone rolling his eyes even though you weren't watching. He bit back an annoyed groan, not knowing how to deal with the whole situation.
"Don't be ridiculous." You hissed at him, your heart skipping a beat once you realized you were indeed jealous.
The clone shot his eyebrows up, eyeing you in suspicious, so you did what you did best. Change subjects.
"Your students are on the top of the three now. The blond one is almost falling." You moved your glance up for a second, before looking down again to the couple.
"They are not known for their hiding abilities." Kakashi shrugged, while watching the feet of his team. "Even Sasuke is there, no one can run away from curiosity, I guess."
Following his gaze, you saw the raven boy there. A sad smile spread across your face. "He looks like him, doesn't he?"
"No, actually. He is nothing like him." Tilting your head, you noticed a sparkle shining on the corner of his eyes. Amusement, maybe.
"You really like being a sensei, huh?" It slipped before you could contain yourself. "It suits you."
"I do, actually." By his squinted eyes, you just knew he was smiling. "But I miss being an ANBU. The thrilling missions. Being feared by the bad guys. Fighting them with you. You, in general."
You swallowed hard to keep yourself from admitting for both of you how much you have missed him. How much you still loved him.
Breaking up with him was the hardest thing you have done in your life. You two went from sleeping next to each other every single night, touching every time you had a chance to nothing.
The day your best friend killed his entire clan was still a vivid memory inside your head. Thoughts about the hundreds of people dead by his hand have haunted you for so long and you still didn't understand what happened. How your loving, caring friend become a cold machine capable to murder his family without thinking, leaving only his little brother behind. You have thought about the reasons why he had left Sasuke live, and a spark inside you always shined, hopefully. Spending so much time in the Uchiha complex, you have met Sasuke when he was little a million times. It was always your favorite thing to make him blush, but since what happened you never spoke to him again. It was too painful for you to realize that something was bothering your best friend and you didn't even notice.
Losing Itachi Uchiha was one of the worst things you have dealt with.
It affected every single relationship in your life. You didn't know how to trust anyone anymore. Not even the guy you loved the most.
"Did she say anything else?" You questioned him, not showing any signs of being touched by his words, for his sake and mostly yours.
"No, actually. What did Ibiki and Inochi tell you?"
"Everything I needed to know to complete my mission. They didn't get much though, she had training. Or they are getting soft."
"Right." He passed his hand on his face. "So you know."
"About she not being able to forget you? Yeah, pretty aware, and after hearing this cute cloud story you told her, I kind know why." You shot back, the words were jumbled as they came out of your mouth.
"Althought you changed a bit, I recognized you when I saw you because you are always in my heart, you are my hope." Every word that came from Hanare's mouth reached your ears. It was like your heart broke into tiny pieces after hearing that, not being able to gaze away from Kakashi's face. Desperation was getting the best of you, you needed to hear his answer.
But his clone had another plan.
He approached you, making you finally lost eye contact with the original one, to stare at his abrupt move. He was watching you with a displeased look on his face, very different from his general deadpan facial expression. You had never seen him like that and to be completely honest, it kind of scared you but at the same time, a part of you was deeply intrigued by what he had in store for you.
"Stop acting like a jealous girlfriend." Kakashi finally retorted, as you licked your lips under his burning gaze and rested your body against the tree truck he was once standing next to.
But as soon as you opened your mouth to give him a comeback, it happened.
His whole team have fell from the tree, directly on the original Kakashi. The bump made him to collapse on the girl, taking her to the ground with him.
It didn't take much until you realized his body wasn't the only thing pressed against her.
His lips were too.
You couldn't fight against the reactions your body had. Your jaw clenched, as your hands turned into fits.
"y/n..." It was all the clone said before it vanished in a gray smoke, right after you stabbed him with the closest thing you got - which happened to be a sharp branch.
Once it happened, you saw the original Kakashi glance over the tree, as trying to find something. Someone. But you knew the leaves were camouflaging you, unless he activated his sharingan, he wouldn't see you. Although, he wouldn't do it. It could raise suspicious from Hanare.
And you were glad for that, because as Kakashi tried to control his genin team, you turned to the other side, trying to run away from him and the tears.
"You didn't go make the exchange."
Once again, his voice didn't startle you. Sitting on a random bench on the street, as the night fell, you could see his eyes shining due the orange light coming from behind the walls across the Village.
"Inoichi said y'all didn't need me." You lied to him, as he sat next to you, but still keeping a big distance.
"Funny. He told me you requested to be dismissed from the mission."
You let out a sigh. "And he agreed to that, see? I was not necessary there."
"You were right before, he is getting soft." Kakashi let out a dry chuckle next to you. "Didn't cross your mind that maybe I needed you there?"
You sighed exasperatedly, ignoring the thudding in your heart.
"I read your report. She died, huh?" You tried to hold back a scoff, but you didn't manage to do it.
That got his attention, making him turning his head at you, confusion and admiration crossing his face. "Why are you talking like that?"
"I know her type." What you meant was I know how she feels. "I would guess she asked to die by the hands of the guy she loved and you didn't do it. You wouldn't kill her, no way." You mumbled, glancing over the last ray of sunshine disappearing, the sky ready to fall into darkness.
The lack of an answer gave you the confirmation you needed. Kakashi could do everything, except lying to you.
"Bold move. What if she comes back in the future and actually manage to steal some big information from Konoha?" You started and the beginning of this assumed-to-be argument confused you because he seemed bothered when he first reached you but now he was calm and laid back, despite the fire in his eyes and the fact that he looked like he was waiting for the right moment to drop a bomb on your lap.
"She could have done it already, but she didn't. I think we are good." That words alone made your skin tingle and for a moment you had the feeling you were playing a game with him. Although you were not excited at all for that, you decided to play along.
"Yeah, she didn't do it because of you. What about the next time? What if you are not here anymore?" The words left your lips before you could do much to stop them and you realized your mistake too late when his eyes darkened just a shade and he lift his right eyebrow. The whole situation made your voice cracked on the last question, and as usual, it didn't pass unnoticed to his trained ears.
"I am not Itachi, y/n. I am not leaving." Your heart stopped for a mere moment as your best friend's name slipped his lips, voice swallowed by assurance. Even trying to turn your head to the other way around, it didn't worked, as he stopped you with a swift movement by gripping your jaw in his fingers and pulling your face to peer at his piercing eyes.
"You can't be sure about it." You finally spoke, your tone of honey and milk but your eyes burning with a fiery passion as you looked down, eyeing the floor that was lined with melted ice creams, and swallowed harshly.
"Look, I know the feeling. Losing someone." The moment he got closer to you passed unnoticed until the moment he placed his hand on your own.
Trying to take his hand away, you felt sick to your stomach as you felt the words sitting in the back of your throat, but for the first time, you decided to give it a shot.
"No, Kakashi, you don't." You bit your bottom lip, head spinning as guilt settled in the pit of your stomach, but Kakashi did nothing but nodding, encouraging you to keep talking. "I have lost someone close to my heart, just like you did with Obito and Rin. I lost a father figure, like you with Minato. But you don't know how it feels to lose someone who chooses to leave. Those people had no choice. They died. Itachi did, he had a choice and still he chose not to stay. I am sorry, Kakashi, but it is not the same thing."
It took some time until he pounded every word, carefully, and as he did it, you couldn't stop but admiring his sculpted face for a moment. Words along the line of gorgeous, stunning, perfect ran around in circles between waves of nervousness and regret.
Eternity had passed until he spoke again, and when he did, you just couldn't believe the words that left his mouth.
"Is that the reason you broke up with me? Because you think I will deliberately leave you?"
You tried to hold a gulp, but it didn't work, feeling your mouth suddenly run dry as you decided that you necessitated to put if off because you were sure that if you kept talking to him, you would end up hitting the nearest thing out of pure frustration and that was the last thing you wanted to do. Especially because the nearest thing happened to be Kakashi.
"Just... Forget it." Coming back to your usual, you kept quiet about your true feelings and you hated yourself for that. Kakashi deserved to know everything that was going through your mind, the guy had always helped you to figure whatever you told him out and was deadly honest with you.
Riddle with emotions you were too afraid to express, you stood up, ready to leave him, but you hesitated for a second, and it was enough for him to grab your wrist. The action itself gave you the feeling your lungs were starting to burn, causing your breathing to heave.
"I don't understand. First, you ask to participate on my mission."
Wait, what?
"Yes, y/n. I know."
But how?
"Inoichi told me."
Eyebrows arched, you got a little shocked he was even answering the questions inside your head.
"You acted like a jealousy girlfriend the whole time. Now, you are acting like you can't stand be near me. So?" The frustration was showing on his tone, clearly. There was a few times when you saw Kakashi actually mad about something, inside his usual deadpan look. Fewer things could cause this reaction on him. You being one of them.
"Kakashi, drop it." You felt a wave of anxiousness fall upon you, as you wet your lips, feeling uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading. How it even landed on the two of you? Again. You were unsure.
"Sorry if I can't be as cold as y-"
You interrupted him, before he could say anything he could regret later. "You can. You do it all the time, except when you are with me. No one can see what you are thinking. No one can wonder what is going inside your head, but I can, because you let me. It is not my fault, Kashi."
The nickname simply slipped of your throat, and even through the mask, you could see him biting his lower lip.
"Fine, I get the part that you broke up with me because you don't love me. What I do not get is-"
The second time interrupting someone was always easier, especially when it was a outburst.
"I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you, I did because I am afraid to lose you, you idiot!" You blocked everything out, focusing on easing the pain that comes with relationships and working your feelings down until your heart that beat almost for him, each individual beat coursing blood through your veins, metaphorically turned into ice.
Except that, Kakashi managed to melt everything inside you just with a shining glance.
"Wait, you still love me?" He spoke every word slowly, as trying to absorb it and the same time, trying to make you realize what you have just spilled. It was just something he wasn't expecting from you. Not at that moment, not never.
"Of course I do, Kakashi. I love you so much. I'd rather die than lose you, I can't even stand the thought of it." You bit your lip and nodded at your own words. His hand came back to your face again, holding your jaw. More than once, you did your best to look away but his grip on your jaw tighter every time, stopping you from doing it.
"You are not going to lose me. I promise." Your breath hitched at the sound of his voice, and the way his eyes squinted, a proof he smiled carried a warmth that caught you entirely off guard.
"Stop making promises you can't keep!" You choked out, fearful that you were about to cry in front of him and ruin your hard-built reputation. It was like you had fallen to the bottom before and you just didn't know how to go back.
"I promise I will keep that promise." His comment stoke you like a knife and your mouth fell open. What had started as a normal evening had ended in a way that was completely unseen by the two of you.
"Kakashi..." His name on your tongue was more a warning than anything else. It was basically a request from him to stop because everything was so much.
If he noticed it was an advice to be away from you, he ignored it promptly, as he pushed your arm to place you sitting on his lap, each leg on one side of his.
He pulled his mask down, the sight of the lips you were dying to kiss one more time right next to your mouth. "Stop pushing me away. I am not going anywhere. Please, don't make me spend another day away from you."
Kakashi's hand ran down your waist, fingers wrapping around the trousers you wore, body resting against his. His touch was warm, practically radiating confidence after your confession.
"It will be easier for both of us if we keep our distance." You tried to reasonable with him, already trying to get up, but the grip on your pants got tighter.
"Fine. Let's do it, but first." He smashed his lips against yours with urgency, catching you completely off guard. There was no running away from him, from what you had. If one day you lose him, your world would crash down, for sure. Although, little did you realize, you already had lost him.
Honestly, you were the one to blame for that.
Now, he was giving you a chance to get him back, and you hated yourself for not being sure about it. It was simple, actually. He was everything to you. So, for the first time, you decided to have faith on his promises.
He parted the kiss, panting. "Fuck, I thought we needed a last kiss before going separate ways, but now I don't feel like stopping."
"Good, because you are not." You gave him a little peck on his lips, pulling his mask up. "But we are taking this to your apartment."
"Last sex?" He questioned, holding you tight with both arms, noses pressed against each other.
"First last sex." If you were afraid you were going to lose him, you might just well live like it would be the last time you would be seeing him.
"Promise?" You expected that your eyes were mirroring his, filled with love and adoration for the boy with the gray hair you had grown up with, the teenager you had fallen in love with and the man you had needed your entire life. Everything was easier with him around and you just hoped this would be just one more thing on the list.
"Promise."