The hedgehog?s dilemma.
By
Allan ?ABE? Bryant.
A hedgehog desires for the comfort of other hedgehogs, but the
more they get closer, the more they injure themselfs. It?s the same with
some people. They are afraid to be hurt, so they stay distant, never
getting close to anyone.
It was when she nearly died in the volcano that he realized how
much he cared for her, he cared so much it scared him. He didn?t want to
get close to her or Misato, it would hurt too much when they left him,
everyone did. So he tried to cover it up from others and himself, but
Rei knew. Somehow the first child saw through all the lies and denials.
He tried to run away, only to see Unit-two?s mangled head after it
crashed into the shelter he was cowering in. He tried to ignore her, but
when he saw her lying on the ground after the fifteenth Angel, he could
do neither. Now he couldn?t face her. Before, she was angry with little
flashes of kindness and vunerability that he had fallen for. Now she was
always angry, ecsspesialy at him and anything to do with Evangelion or
NERV.
She realised she was falling for him when she had kissed him.
She, herself, had been so suprized by the actions, she freaked and tried
to cover it by that stupid display. She thought she loved Kaji.. That
Shinji was just another peverted boy. After spending so much time with
him she had found he was diferent that other boys, another walking
wounded like her, shy, afraid to get close to anyone, letting anyone and
everyone order him around, never sticking up for himself. But that
changed, he stopped letting people boss him around, and she found
herself even more attracted to him. She tried to ignore her feelings,
kept picking on him, but when he was sucked into the Angel, wonder girl
seemed to notice how hurt she was after watching Shinji dissapear, as if
Rei could see right into her soul. She tried to stay away from him, but
everytime she went for tests, he was there worried about her, making it
harder for her to stay away untill she couldn?t anymore. So now she was
trying everything in her power to get him to hate her, she diserved it.
She had failed in her Eva, twice. She wasn?t good enough for anyone, she
felt dirty. She didn?t want them to look at her. She didn?t want to get
close to anyone, afraid they would leave her like her mother did so long
ago, they always do.
Shinji didn?t want to get up. Asuka would yell at him like
usual, Misato would probably pass out on the table, his friends were
gone, Karwou was dead. He sighed and prepared for another horrible day.
Asuka didn?t want to get up. Shinji wouldn?t face her and Misato
would just pass out. Hikari was gone and the mall was destroyed. She
sighed, she didn?t want to hurt Shinji but she couldn?t let herself get
weaker than she already was, right?
Misato didn?t want to get up. So she didn?t, she just passed out
on her bed.
?SHINJI!! Were is my breakfast!?? Demanded Asuka. Shinji came
out of the kitchen and put down a plate. Shinji walked back into
kitchen, he had been eating in there for the past week so he wouldn?t
have to listen to her. Asuka was just about fed up with his behaivor.
She stood up and walked into the doorway were the phone was she looked
at the anwsering machine again. ?Dammit, why hasn?t Kaji called? We
havn?t heard from him in almost a year. Shinji it?s your fault he took
off.? Shinji slammed the plate he was scrubbing into the sink shattering
it.
?He is DEAD Asuka! Havn?t you gotten it through your thick
German skull that he is dead.? She looked at him horrified. She had
always hoped that Kaji went into hidding. That nothing and no one could
kill Rouji Kaji. But Shinji... Shinji that idiot had to... to. Her face
molded into anger as she brought up her hand and slapped him hard in the
face, making him knock over the coffee maker spilling the nearly boiling
liquid over him.
?You IDIOT!!? She screamed and ran out the door. Shinji shook
with rage, he had finnaly had enough. He took off after her. He caught
her by her arm on the skirts of the lake, by a statue of an Angel
slightly deformed by Unit-zero?s destruction, that stood in the twelve
foot deep water. He violently spun her around and slapped her. She
looked at him hatefully. She pushed away from him only to be grabbed by
the shoulders and brought into a kiss. She struggled against him, her
arms trapped by his body, for a few seconds more until she slowly leaned
into the kiss. A gull passing by squaked at something, breaking Shinji?s
rage bringing rational thought back to the boy. He realised what he was
doing to Asuka and broke the kiss and realeased her. He backed away from
saying he was sorry, turned, and began to run, Asuka reached out to him
but he was already gone, her hand went back to her side. Asuka stood in
total shock of what had just happened. Slowly she came back to some
thinking level and began to walk back to the apartment. She arrived a
few minutes later, Shinji wasn?t there. She wasn?t too sure of what
happened. All she could remeber happening was she was running she had
seen his face when she had slapped him, then he was slapping her then
the next thing she new she was being kissed by Shinji. Shinji kissed
her. She couldn?t seemed to get over that fact. She walked in, a
simi-drunk Misato, she had been awakned by the fight, looked at her.
?Wash happesh?? Slurred Misato.
?Shinji and me got into a fight.? Misato looked at her frowned
and shook her head. She walked into the kitchen and began to clean up
the coffee about half way done she looked at the girl cleaning out the
sink of the broken plate.
?U knuw ie woves wou.? Asuka looked at the woman.
?What are you talking about?? Misato seemed to shake off her
drunken stuper.
?Asuka... Shinji loves you, you know don?t you?? The girl looked
at her stupidly.
?He... He loves... m-me...? Asuka?s excpression went blank as
she pretty much zoned out. *WHAT!?... IDIOT!! Why did he have to fall
for me, I don?t want to get close to him, I don?t want him too. No, no,
n-nonononooo! I don?t want his love, I don?t diserve it, I don?t want
Misato?s either. They can?t get close to me... Everyone I love always
die, I don?t want it to happen to them!! Please don?t make me love them,
I don?t want too.* A voice came came alive in her. *You all ready do,
that is why you don?t want them hurt. No! I don?t love them, I hate
Shinji! I can?t love him. You do... Yes you do. But I don?t want too.
You fear being hurt, Shinji is afraid of this also, that is why he ran.
He ran away from me, I didn?t want him too. You are now contradicting
yourself. I don?t want him to run away any further. You fear being
alone. I need to find him. You seek love when you fear it. I need to say
I?m sorry. You feel guilty. I need to show him I care. You wish to
exspose yourself to hurt, just to feel love? Yes. You are brave. I have
to be.*
?Asuka? Asuka!! Asuka are you okay?? Asuka came back, Misato was
holding onto her shoulders. ?Oh God Asuka I?m sorry, I didn?t know.... I
thought you knew. I didn?t realize.?
?I... I need to find him.? Misato helped her off the ground, her
legs had fallen out beneath her. She looked at Misato, Misato finnaly
out of her drunken haze, her face looking at her with pure concern.
Asuka found herself hugging Misato, like a daughter would do to a mother
she hadn?t seen in a while. She realeased Misato, who nodded to her and
Asuka ran out the door. She didn?t have any idea were she was going
untill she had gotten herself lost, she was some were on the mountian,
it seemed familar. She kept going until she had found a small pond far
off from civilization. As she neared she began to hear someone crying
queitly. She stepped into the clearing, a figure hunched up next to the
pond was vissable, his quaking shoulders never stopping. She knew it was
Shinji imediatly. She ran up to him and picked him up by his shoulders,
she turned him around. He saw it was Asuka and his face went deadly. She
was about to get angry herself when she heard the voice again. *You fear
being hurt, Shinji is afraid of this also, that is why he ran.* She
raised her hand and slapped him. He looked at her, stuned. ?That?s for
running away from me.... And this is for the kiss.? She she grabbed him
by his shoulders again, like he had done and kissed him. Shinji soon
fell into the kiss, his hands found their way to her back holding her
close to him as hers found their way from his shoulders to around his neck.
Sometimes... the hedgehogs get fed up with the loneliness and
rip off their spines so they can be together. And sometimes people love
a person so much they don?t care if they will be hurt or not.
Asuka slowly broke the kiss, she found herself hugging him as if
her life depended on it, much like what she had done with Misato, but
this time it was more meaningful. Shinji hugged her back, he never
wanted to let go, but it wouldn?t last. She would go away, he needed
to... to. Slowly they parted. Shinji moved away from her.
?Shinji what?s wrong?? He wouldn?t look at her. ?Please tell me.?
?I?m afraid of getting close to you... I don?t want to be hurt
again.?
?Neither did I, but I can?t deny my feelings anymore... No
matter if I get hurt or not.? He turned towards her again. ?I.. tried so
hard not too but I can?t, it has to stop. Shinji I like you. I more than
like you. I... I...? She looked down, ashamed of what she had admitted
when he felt his hands come around her. She looked up into his face.
?Don?t worry... I feel the same way. I felt you would go away
like everyone else.?
?I felt you would too...? She found herself in a kiss again.
To bo continued... Maybe.
By
Allan ?ABE? Bryant.
A hedgehog desires for the comfort of other hedgehogs, but the
more they get closer, the more they injure themselfs. It?s the same with
some people. They are afraid to be hurt, so they stay distant, never
getting close to anyone.
It was when she nearly died in the volcano that he realized how
much he cared for her, he cared so much it scared him. He didn?t want to
get close to her or Misato, it would hurt too much when they left him,
everyone did. So he tried to cover it up from others and himself, but
Rei knew. Somehow the first child saw through all the lies and denials.
He tried to run away, only to see Unit-two?s mangled head after it
crashed into the shelter he was cowering in. He tried to ignore her, but
when he saw her lying on the ground after the fifteenth Angel, he could
do neither. Now he couldn?t face her. Before, she was angry with little
flashes of kindness and vunerability that he had fallen for. Now she was
always angry, ecsspesialy at him and anything to do with Evangelion or
NERV.
She realised she was falling for him when she had kissed him.
She, herself, had been so suprized by the actions, she freaked and tried
to cover it by that stupid display. She thought she loved Kaji.. That
Shinji was just another peverted boy. After spending so much time with
him she had found he was diferent that other boys, another walking
wounded like her, shy, afraid to get close to anyone, letting anyone and
everyone order him around, never sticking up for himself. But that
changed, he stopped letting people boss him around, and she found
herself even more attracted to him. She tried to ignore her feelings,
kept picking on him, but when he was sucked into the Angel, wonder girl
seemed to notice how hurt she was after watching Shinji dissapear, as if
Rei could see right into her soul. She tried to stay away from him, but
everytime she went for tests, he was there worried about her, making it
harder for her to stay away untill she couldn?t anymore. So now she was
trying everything in her power to get him to hate her, she diserved it.
She had failed in her Eva, twice. She wasn?t good enough for anyone, she
felt dirty. She didn?t want them to look at her. She didn?t want to get
close to anyone, afraid they would leave her like her mother did so long
ago, they always do.
Shinji didn?t want to get up. Asuka would yell at him like
usual, Misato would probably pass out on the table, his friends were
gone, Karwou was dead. He sighed and prepared for another horrible day.
Asuka didn?t want to get up. Shinji wouldn?t face her and Misato
would just pass out. Hikari was gone and the mall was destroyed. She
sighed, she didn?t want to hurt Shinji but she couldn?t let herself get
weaker than she already was, right?
Misato didn?t want to get up. So she didn?t, she just passed out
on her bed.
?SHINJI!! Were is my breakfast!?? Demanded Asuka. Shinji came
out of the kitchen and put down a plate. Shinji walked back into
kitchen, he had been eating in there for the past week so he wouldn?t
have to listen to her. Asuka was just about fed up with his behaivor.
She stood up and walked into the doorway were the phone was she looked
at the anwsering machine again. ?Dammit, why hasn?t Kaji called? We
havn?t heard from him in almost a year. Shinji it?s your fault he took
off.? Shinji slammed the plate he was scrubbing into the sink shattering
it.
?He is DEAD Asuka! Havn?t you gotten it through your thick
German skull that he is dead.? She looked at him horrified. She had
always hoped that Kaji went into hidding. That nothing and no one could
kill Rouji Kaji. But Shinji... Shinji that idiot had to... to. Her face
molded into anger as she brought up her hand and slapped him hard in the
face, making him knock over the coffee maker spilling the nearly boiling
liquid over him.
?You IDIOT!!? She screamed and ran out the door. Shinji shook
with rage, he had finnaly had enough. He took off after her. He caught
her by her arm on the skirts of the lake, by a statue of an Angel
slightly deformed by Unit-zero?s destruction, that stood in the twelve
foot deep water. He violently spun her around and slapped her. She
looked at him hatefully. She pushed away from him only to be grabbed by
the shoulders and brought into a kiss. She struggled against him, her
arms trapped by his body, for a few seconds more until she slowly leaned
into the kiss. A gull passing by squaked at something, breaking Shinji?s
rage bringing rational thought back to the boy. He realised what he was
doing to Asuka and broke the kiss and realeased her. He backed away from
saying he was sorry, turned, and began to run, Asuka reached out to him
but he was already gone, her hand went back to her side. Asuka stood in
total shock of what had just happened. Slowly she came back to some
thinking level and began to walk back to the apartment. She arrived a
few minutes later, Shinji wasn?t there. She wasn?t too sure of what
happened. All she could remeber happening was she was running she had
seen his face when she had slapped him, then he was slapping her then
the next thing she new she was being kissed by Shinji. Shinji kissed
her. She couldn?t seemed to get over that fact. She walked in, a
simi-drunk Misato, she had been awakned by the fight, looked at her.
?Wash happesh?? Slurred Misato.
?Shinji and me got into a fight.? Misato looked at her frowned
and shook her head. She walked into the kitchen and began to clean up
the coffee about half way done she looked at the girl cleaning out the
sink of the broken plate.
?U knuw ie woves wou.? Asuka looked at the woman.
?What are you talking about?? Misato seemed to shake off her
drunken stuper.
?Asuka... Shinji loves you, you know don?t you?? The girl looked
at her stupidly.
?He... He loves... m-me...? Asuka?s excpression went blank as
she pretty much zoned out. *WHAT!?... IDIOT!! Why did he have to fall
for me, I don?t want to get close to him, I don?t want him too. No, no,
n-nonononooo! I don?t want his love, I don?t diserve it, I don?t want
Misato?s either. They can?t get close to me... Everyone I love always
die, I don?t want it to happen to them!! Please don?t make me love them,
I don?t want too.* A voice came came alive in her. *You all ready do,
that is why you don?t want them hurt. No! I don?t love them, I hate
Shinji! I can?t love him. You do... Yes you do. But I don?t want too.
You fear being hurt, Shinji is afraid of this also, that is why he ran.
He ran away from me, I didn?t want him too. You are now contradicting
yourself. I don?t want him to run away any further. You fear being
alone. I need to find him. You seek love when you fear it. I need to say
I?m sorry. You feel guilty. I need to show him I care. You wish to
exspose yourself to hurt, just to feel love? Yes. You are brave. I have
to be.*
?Asuka? Asuka!! Asuka are you okay?? Asuka came back, Misato was
holding onto her shoulders. ?Oh God Asuka I?m sorry, I didn?t know.... I
thought you knew. I didn?t realize.?
?I... I need to find him.? Misato helped her off the ground, her
legs had fallen out beneath her. She looked at Misato, Misato finnaly
out of her drunken haze, her face looking at her with pure concern.
Asuka found herself hugging Misato, like a daughter would do to a mother
she hadn?t seen in a while. She realeased Misato, who nodded to her and
Asuka ran out the door. She didn?t have any idea were she was going
untill she had gotten herself lost, she was some were on the mountian,
it seemed familar. She kept going until she had found a small pond far
off from civilization. As she neared she began to hear someone crying
queitly. She stepped into the clearing, a figure hunched up next to the
pond was vissable, his quaking shoulders never stopping. She knew it was
Shinji imediatly. She ran up to him and picked him up by his shoulders,
she turned him around. He saw it was Asuka and his face went deadly. She
was about to get angry herself when she heard the voice again. *You fear
being hurt, Shinji is afraid of this also, that is why he ran.* She
raised her hand and slapped him. He looked at her, stuned. ?That?s for
running away from me.... And this is for the kiss.? She she grabbed him
by his shoulders again, like he had done and kissed him. Shinji soon
fell into the kiss, his hands found their way to her back holding her
close to him as hers found their way from his shoulders to around his neck.
Sometimes... the hedgehogs get fed up with the loneliness and
rip off their spines so they can be together. And sometimes people love
a person so much they don?t care if they will be hurt or not.
Asuka slowly broke the kiss, she found herself hugging him as if
her life depended on it, much like what she had done with Misato, but
this time it was more meaningful. Shinji hugged her back, he never
wanted to let go, but it wouldn?t last. She would go away, he needed
to... to. Slowly they parted. Shinji moved away from her.
?Shinji what?s wrong?? He wouldn?t look at her. ?Please tell me.?
?I?m afraid of getting close to you... I don?t want to be hurt
again.?
?Neither did I, but I can?t deny my feelings anymore... No
matter if I get hurt or not.? He turned towards her again. ?I.. tried so
hard not too but I can?t, it has to stop. Shinji I like you. I more than
like you. I... I...? She looked down, ashamed of what she had admitted
when he felt his hands come around her. She looked up into his face.
?Don?t worry... I feel the same way. I felt you would go away
like everyone else.?
?I felt you would too...? She found herself in a kiss again.
To bo continued... Maybe.