A/N: Hello, hello! So this was based on a prompt a friend of mine gave me: "red stains the walls, the mind, the floor, sightless eyes stare out your door. Suddenly I'm sixteen again, don't leave me". Just...thought you should know...
Please Don't Leave Me
People always walked out on him. People had been walking out on him ever since he was seven.
Walking out…giving up…what was the difference?
He had been a foster child, bounced around from family to family. No one had really wanted him. Nothing he ever did was good enough to keep him in a family for more than a year. But Jeff Sterling still tried to pretend that he was happy, to be a bundle of energy, a ray of sunshine. Maybe then someone would want him.
When he was fifteen, one family finally took him in.
And then shipped him off to Dalton Academy after four short months.
No one could put up with Jeff for long. What was wrong with him?
Dalton had been good for him. He had made friends in Dalton, people that genuinely liked him, that wanted him to hang out with them.
And Dalton was where he had met Nick Duval.
They had been assigned a Social Studies project in his first year there, and that had been the start of a beautiful friendship.
Nick had convinced Jeff to try out for the Warblers. Nick had helped him with his Science homework (and Jeff had returned the favour by helping him with Math). Nick had eventually broken through Jeff's barrier and seen the vulnerable boy who wanted simply to be loved. Nick had given him that love. Nick had been his first kiss. Nick had taken his virginity. Nick had given him a goal, an ambition, and Nick had convinced him to join him at UCLA. Nick had gotten an apartment with him after they graduated. For the longest time, things had been wonderful.
And through it all Jeff had wondered how long it would take before Nick walked out. Because everyone walked out eventually, didn't they?
So how had they ended up where they were now, with Nick sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, and Jeff staring helplessly at him, pleading silently with him to please, stay?
But he knew, of course. He knew exactly how they had gotten to where they were. Nick brought it up often enough anyway.
Please don't give up on me. The words were stuck in Jeff's throat, refusing to voice themselves.
Nick closed his eyes. "I'm tired, Jeff. I've tried. I keep trying. But there's only so much I can do when you're so damn determined to screw this up. To drive me away."
Jeff wanted to reach out, to touch him, to tell him that no he wasn't doing that, he didn't want to drive Nick away, not Nick of all people. But both of them knew that was a lie.
It had been the little things at first, so many little things. And then they got bigger. And that was when Nick called Jeff out on it. Jeff hadn't even realised that he was trying to push Nick away, trying to give him a reason to leave.
But even after that, even after he'd become aware of what he was doing, he hadn't been able to stop.
And then he had found himself, after one too many drinks, kissing someone that most definitely was not Nick. And Nick had seen them.
Which was how they'd wound up here, on the 21st of August, with Jeff watching everything he'd held onto falling apart. And it was all his fault.
There were no tears that blurred his vision as Jeff tried to croak out Nick's name. Again, the word caught in his throat.
Nick went on. "What do you want from me, Jeff? What do you want from me that I haven't given to you? Love, wasn't that what you wanted? Wasn't that what I gave you? Wasn't I enough?"
Jeff couldn't tear his eyes away from him, even though it hurt to look at him.
Nick raised his head, turning to Jeff. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, weary, accusing, almost. "If you wanted me to leave, you should've just said so."
He kept his eyes on Jeff, and the blond knew he was waiting for him to stop him. Please don't leave me. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Panic slowly rose in his chest, and his breathing turned shallow. He tried again, but there was only a strangled sob.
Nick gave a bitter smile, rising from the bed. Jeff watched as Nick slowly walked to the wardrobe, opened it, pulled out his clothes and carefully folded them into a suitcase, taking his own time with all of it, giving Jeff a chance to stop him.
Finally Nick closed the suitcase and gave Jeff a long, hard look. With a little smile, he picked up the suitcase and softly said, "Maybe we'll meet again some day. Take care of yourself, Jeffy." And planting a farewell kiss on Jeff's forehead, he walked out of the door.
Jeff sat motionless on the bed, listening to the front door close. He didn't move for a long time, until the hysteria that he had held back while all of that was going on finally took over, and he curled up into a ball, letting the tears fall.
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Reviews are much appreciated! (: