The characters of the Kim Possible TV show are not mine and belong to S.O.M.M.O. (Some Other Mickey Mouse Operation). They are used here without permission of their creators or owners. No profit has been intended or made on the part of this author and for legal purposes the following story should be considered a parody.
This ficlet was originally posted to the Worst Case Scenario thread of the Kim Possible Discussion Forum. I've decided to torture the general Kim Possible fan fiction readership with the mind melting images implied within.
Worst Case Scenario
Kim and Shego! KIM AND SHEGO! Ron Stoppable sat bolt upright in his bed, drenched in a cold sweat. Three weeks after the ceremony and Ron was so upset about this development and how completely Kim had blindsided him with the news, that he was still referring to her as Kim instead of KP--even in his private thoughts.
He knew that he didn't have any romantic claim to her. Not after they had "amicably" ended that part of their relationship when they went their separate ways in post high school graduate studies, Ron to a top-notch culinary institute in New York and Kim to the University of Cambridge in England. Still, when Kim had told Ron that she had been secretly meeting the ex-villainess for coffee after classes for nearly two years without telling anybody, including Ron when he called regularly—he knew that their one-time closeness had been irretrievably lost. When she finally revealed her secret, he put on a brave face, told her that there was nothing that she needed to be forgiven for, and even agreed to be best man for the bride and…um…bride, but ever since that fateful day he had felt adrift. All of his dreams that after their respective studies they would rekindle their every-waking-minute-of-the-day close friendship and eventually their romance had been dashed utterly.
Still, he plastered on his best goofy smile and stood beside her as her best friend as she took the vows would mean that she was lost to him forever. Moreover, throughout the ceremony and the reception afterward Ron could feel the weight of an iron stare from Mr. Dr. Possible (didn't feel right to call him Mr. Dr. P anymore), letting Ron know that he blamed Ron for not protecting his daughter from this fate worse than death. In one fell swoop, he had essentially lost the love of his life, his best friend, and the people who were more like parents to him than his own father and mother.
So, he did what any other freshly turned 21-year old with access to an open bar whose life had come crashing down around his ears would do. He got rip-roaringly smashed. He woke up the next afternoon with cotton in his mouth, a screeching hangover, no recollection of anything that had happened after the happy couple had left on their honeymoon, and one other thing….a souvenir from an apparently well-endowed woman that must have shared his bed that night.
In his remaining two weeks in Middleton, he had called around to all of Kim's girlfriends who were at the wedding, under the guise of wanting to thank them for seeing him safely back to his parent's house that night, to see if he could determine who his mysterious bedmate was. None of the girls admitted to being his guardian angel nor did they seem to be unforthcoming about it either. On his way back to New York to begin his last year of classes, he had detoured in order to visit Andrea Lynn (who had sat on Shego's side of the church along with Team Go and most of Kim's Rouges Gallery of assorted villains), with the same story—but she wasn't the one either. He returned to the off campus rental house he shared with several of his culinary school classmates and carefully put away his souvenir, deciding that he would just have to be content that his guardian angel that night would forever remain a mystery.
He was rudely brought out his musings by a pounding on his bedroom door. "Yo! Stoppable! Get up! You have a visitor in down in the living room."
"Who would be visiting me here?" Ron wondered. He quickly threw on some clothes and headed down the hall to greet his visitor. As he passed down the hallway, all of his housemates were just standing around staring at him as he passed and it seemed that they were whispering behind his back once he had gone by. Accustomed to being the outcast, Ron ignored them and turned down the steps at the end of the hallway.
As he descended the stairs and became visible to the sole occupant of the living room, she bounced out of her chair and squealed, "There you are, Snookums! I had such a devil of a time finding you." Ron stood at the bottom of steps stunned into paralysis as she closed the distance between them and enveloped him in a crushing bear hug, "I have wondrous news!" DNAmy stepped back a couple of steps beaming with unfettered glee in order to fish something from her pocket and hold it up in front of Ron's face—it was small white plastic tube with a pink plus symbol clearly visible in the little window facing toward him.
BTW--Kim meeting Shego for coffee after classes in college was a concept blatantly...uh...borrowed from King in Yellow.